all

Difficult Customer
Good evening. My name is Fabio, I’ll be your waiter for tonight. May I take your order?
No, I’m still working on it. This menu is not even in English. What’s good here?
For you sir, I would recommend spaghetti and meatballs.
Does it come with coke and fries?
It comes with either soup or salad and a complimentary glass of wine, Sir.
I’ll go with the spaghetti and meatballs, salad and the wine.
Excellent choice, your order will be ready soon.
How soon is soon?
Twenty minutes?
You know what? I’ll just go grab a burger across the street
Calling In Sick 
Hello, Daniel speaking, how may I help you?
Hi, Daniel, Julie here.
Hi, Julie, how are you?
Actually, I’m feeling quite ill today.
I’m sorry to hear that. What’s wrong?
I think I’m coming down with the flu. I have a headache, a sore throat a runny nose and I’m feeling slightly feverish.
I see... so you’re calling in sick?
Yes, I was hoping to take the day off to recover.
OK, then. Try and get some rest.  
Hotel Upgrade 
Good afternoon. What can I do for you?
I’d like to check in please. I have a reservation under the name Anthony Roberts.
All right R.O.B.E.R.T.S... Oh, Mr. Roberts we’ve been expecting you and here is your keycard to the presidential suite.
But there must be some mistake; my reservation was for a standard room.
Are you sure? Let me double check.
Yeah. Here, this is my confirmation number.
You’re right Mr. Roberts, there seems to be a mixup, unfortunately we’re overbooked at the moment.
So...
Not to worry. We’re pleased to offer you a complimentary upgrade.
Presidential suite baby!  
I need an assistant!
...like I told you before, we just don’t have the resources to hire you an assistant.
I understand that, but the fact is we’re understaffed.
The timing is just not right. The economy is bad, and it’s too risky to take on new staff.
Yeah, I guess you’re right.... here’s an idea, what if we hire an intern? She would take some of the weight off my shoulders.
She?
Yeah, you know, a recent graduate. She could give me a hand with some of these projects and we could keep our costs down.
That sounds reasonable... let me see what I can do.
Tony, I’d like to introduce you to your new assistant.
OK, great! Let’s meet her!
Oh... hi... I’m Tony...  
Cut In Line
I can’t believe it took us two hours to get here. The traffic in New York is unbelievable.
Yeah, but just relax honey, we’re here and we’re going on vacation. In a few hours we’ll be in Hawaii, and you’ll be on the golf course.
Oh no! Look at that line! It must be a mile long! There’s no way I’m waiting for another two hours.
Honey... don’t...
Yeah...
Says who?
So sue me!
Road Trip
So, are we all ready to go?
Yup, I think so. The car’s packed; we have munchies and music, and the map’s in the car.
Did you get the camera?
Got it! Did you fill up the tank?
Yup, it’s all set.
You’re sure we’re not forgetting anything?
I’m sure... we’ve got all our bases covered.
Well... let’s get going then! I love road trips!
Um... do you think we can make a pit stop?
But we’ve only been on the road for ten minutes.
I know, but I forgot to go to the bathroom before we left.  
Virus!
Oh great! This stupid computer froze again! Thats the third time today! Hey Samuel, can you come take a look at my PC? It’s acting up again. It must have a virus or something.
Just give me a second; I’ll be right up.
I ran a virus scan on your computer, and it turns out that you have a lot of infected files!
But I’m quite careful when I’m browsing the internet, I have no idea how I could have picked up a virus.
Well, you have to make sure that your anti-virus software is updated regularly; yours wasn’t up to date, that’s probably what was causing your problems.
Ok. Anything else?
Yeah, try not to kick or hit the computer!
Um yeah... Sorry about that.  
What’s your name again? 
Nick! How’s it going?
Oh, hey...
What are you doing in this neighbourhood? Do you live around here?
Actually, my office is right around the corner.
It was great to meet you last week at the conference. I really enjoyed our conversation about foreign investment.
Yeah, yeah, it was really interesting. You know, I’m in a bit of a hurry, but here’s my card. We should definitely meet up again and continue our discussion.
Sure, you still have my contact details, right?
You know what, this is really embarrassing, but your name has just slipped my mind. Can you remind me?
Sure, my name is Ana Ferris. Don’t worry about it; it happens to me all the time. I’m terrible with names too.  
Silence please!
Those people in front of us are making so much noise. It’s so inconsiderate!
Dont worry about it; it’s not such a big deal.
Oh... I cant hear a thing! Excuse me, can you keep it down?
Someone’s phone is ringing!
Honey, I think it’s your phone. Did you forget to switch it off?
Oh, no! You’re right. That’s so embarrassing!
Driving Sales
All right, people. We’re holding this meeting today because we’ve got to do something about our sales, and we need to do it NOW! I want concrete solutions. How do you plan to drive sales... Roger?
Well, in fact, we’re the most expensive in the market, so maybe we need to lower our prices to match the competitors?
Lower our prices? Not very creative. It’ll never fly with Swan. What kind of thinking is that? Geez. Anybody else have a better plan? Natalie?
What? That’s the same thing. Bad idea. Really bad idea. Dammit people come on! Think! The CEO will be here any minute.
Yeah, exactly. Just what I was thinking! In fact, that’s a brilliant idea! I’m glad we thought of that.  Very creative.  
New Guy in Town I
Oh, I don’t know if you heard, but someone moved into that old house down the road.
Yeah, I know. I met the owner of the house yesterday as he was moving in. His name is Armand.
Really? What’s he like? You have to fill me in.
Actually, he’s a bit strange. I don’t know... I’ve just got a bad feeling about him.
Really? Why?
Well, yesterday I brought over a housewarming gift, but Armand started acting really weird, and then he practically kicked me out! I tried to, sort of, peek into his house, but everything was so dark inside that I couldn’t really get a good look. The whole thing really creep me out.
Well, you’ll never guess what I saw this morning. A delivery truck pulled into his driveway, and it dropped off a long, rectangular box. It almost looked like a coffin!
You see! Why would he...
Ah, Armand! You scared the heck out of me! This is my friend Doris.
Cleaning the House
Honey, the house is such a mess! I need you to help me tidy up a bit. My boss and her husband are coming over for dinner and the house needs to be spotless!
I’m in the middle of something right now. I’ll be there in a second.
This can’t wait! I need your help now!
Alright, alright. I’m coming.
Ok, here’s a list of chores we need to get done. I’ll do the dishes and get all the groceries for tonight. You can sweep and mop the floors. Oh, and the furniture needs to be dusted.
You know what? I have to pick something up at the mall, so why don’t you clean the floors and I'll go to the supermarket and get all the groceries.
Sure that’s fine. Here is the list of all the things you need to get. Dont forget anything! And can you pick up a bottle of wine on your way home?
Hey, honey I’m back. Wow, the house looks really good!
Great! Can you set the table?
Just a sec I’m just gonna vacuum this rug real fast.
Wait! Don’t turn it on...  
Out Of Control Spending
OK, so now the last point on our agenda. Jill, let’s go over the profit and loss statement.
Great. Well, the main issue here, as you can see, is that our expenses are through the roof.
Let’s see... These numbers are off the charts! What’s going on here!
Well, um, sir, the company expenditures on entertainment and travel are out of control. Look at these bills for example. Just this month we’ve paid over twenty thousand dollars for hotel charges!
OK, thank you. I’ll look into it.
The list goes on and on. Here, this is a bill for five thousand dollars for spa treatments!
Thank you; that will be all. I’ll take care of it.
Look at this one sir, eight thousand dollars were spent in one night at a place called ”Wild Things”?!
OK, I get it!! Thank you for your very thorough analysis!  
I’m in Debt
Hello, I’m here to see Mr. Corleone.
Right this way, sir.
Mr. Corlone, I’m really sorry to trouble you, but I need your help.
Well, sir, you see, this recession has hit me pretty hard; I lost my job and I’m in a lot of debt.
Yeah, you know, I’ve got credit card bills, car payments, I’ve got to pay my mortgage; and on top of all that, I have to pay my son’s college tuition.
Well, I just thought maybe you could help me out.
I’m sorry, I love you I
Whoa, whoa, what’s going on? Watch out!
Hey, watch where you’re going!
Oh, no! I’m so sorry! Are you all right?
Oh... I don’t know.
I feel terrible, I really didn’t mean to knock you over. My tire, just exploded, and I lost control of my bike. Really, it was an accident. Please accept my apologies.
Just let me try to stand up.
Are you okay?
Oh, wait a second, you seem really familiar, I think I know you from somewhere.
Yeah, that’s right! I think we have met somewhere before. We met at Aaron’s place last weekend! What a coincidence! But anyway, I’m glad to see that you’re not too badly hurt, and I should probably get going. I've got a nine o’clock meeting. Here's my number, call me and we'll exchange insurance information.
Ouch! My ankle! I think it’s broken! You can’t  
Nope, I’m canceling my appointment so that I can stay here with you.
Turn left here!
Hurry up, get in.
I’m in, let’s go!
OK, make a left here... no wait, I meant make a right. Come on, speed up!
Geez! What’s the rush?
Don’t worry about it, just drive. Oh, no, the light is about to change... step on it!
Are you nuts! I’m not going to run a red light!
Whatever. Just turn right here... The freeway will be packed at this hour... let’s take a side street. Go on! Get out of our way! Move, move!
What’s your problem! Geez. Having a fit is not going to help!
Here, I know a short cut... just go down here, and we’ll cut though Ashburn Heights. Let’s go, let’s go! Watch out for that lady!
I’m going as fast as I can!
Yes! We made it. 5:58, just before the library closes.
You’re such a geek!  
Here Comes the Bride
I can’t believe that Anthony is finally getting married!
Yeah well it’s about time! He’s been living with his parents for 40 years!
Don’t be mean. Look here come the bridesmaids! Their dresses look beautiful!
Who are those kids walking down the aisle?
That’s the flower girl and the ring bearer. I’m pretty sure they’re the groom’s niece and nephew. Oh, they look so cute!
I just hope the priest makes it quick. I’m starving. I hope the food’s good at the reception.
That’s all you ever think about, food! Oh, I think the bride’s coming now! She looks gorgeous. Wait, what’s she doing? Where’s she going?
Oh great! Does this mean that the reception is canceled?  
Protest!
This is Action 5 News reporter Sarah O’Connell reporting live from Washington, D. C. where a protest has broken out. Thousands of angry citizens are protesting against the proposed bailout of the auto manufacturing industry! Sir, sir, Sarah O’Connell, Action 5 news. Can you tell us what’s happening?
Yeah, yeah, we’re here because we feel this is an injustice! The financial irresponsibility of big business has to stop! We’re there to show the government that we don’t like the way that they’re spending our tax dollars!
Sir but what exactly is making everyone so angry?
It’s an absolute outrage, Sarah, the US government wants to give 25 billion dollars of taxpayers’ money to the auto industry. These are companies that have been mismanaged and are now nearly bankrupt.
I see. But, many supporters of the bailout argue that it could help save the jobs of millions of hardworking Americans.
That maybe true, and I for one don’t want to see anyone lose their job, but how can these CEOs ask for a bailout when they’re making millions of dollars? And then, they have the nerve to fly to Washington in private jets! This costs hundreds of thousands of dollars! And they’re asking for money! That is just not right!
Good point. This is Sarah O’Connell reporting live from Washington D. C., back to you, Tom.  
Christmas Chronicles I
I hate working on Christmas Eve! Whoa! Get a load of this guy! Come in central, I think we’ve got ourselves a situation here. 
License and registration please. Have you been drinking tonight, sir? 
I had one or two glasses of eggnog, but nothing else. 
Step out of the vehicle, please. Sir, what do you have in the back? 
Just a few Christmas gifts, ’tis the season, after all! 
Don’t take that tone with me. Do you have an invoice for these items? 
Um...no...I make these in my workshop in the North Pole! 
You are under arrest, sir. You have the right to remain silent. You better not pout, you better not cry. [1] Anything you say can and will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney; if you cannot afford one, the state will appoint one for you. Do you understand these rights that have just been read to you? [2]
You can’t take me to jail! What about my sleigh? It’s Christmas Eve! I have Presents to deliver! Rudolph! Prancer! Dancer! Get help! 
I Can See Clearly Now
Hello, Arthur. What seems to be the problem?
Hey doc. Well, I think I might need glasses. I’m getting headaches, and I really struggle to see things that are far away. But I have always had 20/20 vision.
Sounds like you may be far-sighted. OK, then, cover your left eye and read the chart in front of you.
Mmm.. . X, E, R, 3, a question mark, and I can’t quite make out the other symbol but I think it’s the peace sign.
Wow, Arthur! You’re as blind as a bat!
Yeah, I know, my vision is really blurry at times.
Ok then, head on over to the other room and pick out some frames while I fill out your prescription.
Thanks doc!
Arthur, that’s the bathroom.  
What Do You Do?
Oh, look, there’s Caroline and her boyfriend. She’s always going on about him at the office. Oh, great, they saw us. They’re coming this way.
Oh, man...
Nice to meet you. This is my husband, Arthur.
Hey, how’s it going?
Caroline talks about you all the time. I guess you must be pretty busy at work.
Wow, yeah... that sounds exciting.
Oh, I’m a Top Gun pilot!  
Christmas Chronicles II
Really, pals, you can’t take me to jail! Don’t you know who I am? Kris Kringle, you know, Papa Noel, Pere Noel, Babbo Natale, sheng dan lao ren!
Yeah, Yeah, we’ve heard that one before, haven’t we Joe?
It’s Christmas Eve and I have all these Presents to deliver! Where is your Christmas spirit? What will happen when all the children wake up tomorrow and don’t find any gifts in their stockings?
Sorry buddy, you were parked in a no-parking zone, you were speeding, and you have no ID!
What! This is unbelievable! What’s this world coming to? Christmas is ruined!
Making an Appointment
Hello, Fairbrook Consulting, how may I help you?
Yes, this is Julianne Horton, and I’m calling to arrange an appointment with Ms. McNealy.
Certainly, what day were you thinking of?
How’s Thursday? Does she have any time available then?
Um... let me double check... unfortunately, she’s booked solid on Thursday, how does next Monday work for you?
Actually, I’ve got something scheduled on Monday. Can she do Tuesday?
Sure, Tuesday’s perfect. May I ask where you’re calling from?
Sure, Merton Financial Advisors.
Oh, actually, Tuesday’s no good. Sorry ’bout that.  
Where should we eat?
Do you two have any plans for the evening?
We were thinking of checking out a restaurant in the neigbourhood. Do you have any suggestions?
I know this really nice Italian place. The food is fantastic, and the d′ecor is beautiful. I’d recommend giving it a try.
In that case, I know a great little bistro. They make a really tasty seafood platter; the fish is outstanding.
It sounds fantastic, but I’m allergic to seafood, so...
Okay, well, let me think... Oh, I know this great little place. It’s just a hole in the wall, but they do the most amazing sandwiches. You gotta give them a try.
Planning For The Worst
Well, right, let’s move to our next order of business, as many of you are aware, in recent weeks there has been a lot of media coverage surrounding this bird flu issue. And it’s come to my attention that our company lacks any sort of bird flu contingency plan.
Basically, we need to come up with a clear plan; we need to outline specific actions that our company can take to maintain critical business functions in case a pandemic strikes.
So, what I’d like to do is: first appoint someone to look after drafting our plan; Ralph, I’d like you to head up this project.
Well, let’s see, there are a few points we need to be thinking about... first, I’ll need you to analyze our numbers and figure out what kind of financial impact an outbreak might have.
You’ll also need to think about how we can avoid any of our employees getting infected; think of ways to reduce employee-customer contact, perhaps some IT solutions that will allow our people to work from home.
Exactly right. So, I’ll leave this to you, and we’ll review the draft plan in two weeks. Okay, so, anyone want to order some KFC for lunch?  
New Year Resolution
So, did I tell you about my New Year’s resolution? I’ve decided to go on a diet.
And you’re going to completely transform your eating habits, right?
Exactly! I’m going to cut out all that junk I eat; no more chips, no more soda, no more fried food.
I’ve heard this one before.
But this time I’m going to stick to it. I really mean it! Trust me, Carol, I’m going to be a new man in one year’s time!
Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Thanks, honey, that was a great meal. I’m stuffed. Do we have any chips left?  
Asking for Time Off
Mr. McKenna, do you have a second? I need to talk to you about something.
Sure, Liv, what can I do for you?
Well, I was just wondering... you see, I know I’ve used up all my vacation days this year, but my sister is getting married, and the wedding is overseas, and, well...
You wanna take some time off, is that right?
Well, sir, I was just hoping that I might be able to take some unpaid leave this year.
What dates are you planning on taking off? I’ll need at least two months notice, so that I can plan for your absence.
I was thinking of taking off from September first until the thirtieth. Would you be okay with that?
Well, I guess so.  
I’m Sorry, I Love You II
I’m so relieved that your ankle wasn’t broken! I feel just awful about this whole thing. I wanna make it up to you. Let me take you out to dinner tonight. My treat.
That sounds great! I’d love to! Here is my address. Pick me up at eight?
Perfect!
Thank you for such a lovely evening! The food was amazing, and I had a great time.
Me too. You look so beautiful tonight! I wish this night would never end. There’s something I have to tell you...
What is it?
I woke up today thinking this would be just like any other ordinary day, but I was wrong. A twist of fate brought us together. I crashed into your life and you into mine, and this may sound crazy, but I’m falling in love with you Veronica... 
Investing in Emerging Markets
Dad, I’d like to borrow some money.
Sure, Johnny, how much do you need? Five bucks?
Come on, Dad, I need thirty thousand. I wanna get into the market. You know, I’m tired of hearing all this news about the economic downturn, the inevitable recession, people stuffing their money in their mattresses. I look at this as an opportunity. This is a chance for me to get a jump start on building my nest egg.
I don’t know about that; with all the uncertainty in the markets right now, it would be a very unwise decision to invest. I don’t know if you’re aware son, but there has been a lot of turmoil in the markets recently. There have already been half a million layoffs in the last few months, and we have no idea how the proposed stimulus package will impact the economy. There’s too much instability. I wouldn’t just feel comfortable investing in this climate.
But look at it this way, every challenge is an opportunity. And anyway, I’m not talking about investing in the domestic market. There are emerging markets that promise great returns. Look at China, for example; they have 1.4 billion people, half a billion of whom have recently entered the middle class. Here alone, the aggregate demand for consumer goods rePresents an amazing wealth generating opportunity.
Come on, son, you’re looking at this too naively, the Chinese market has exhibited a great deal of instability, and their currency has been devalued by almost a whole percentage point.
Fine, then! If that’s the way you feel, so be it. But you’re losing out on a great opportunity here. I’m going to go hit up Mum for the cash.  
New Guy in Town II
Oh, Armand, thank you for such a thoughtful invitation! It’s really very nice of you to invite us over for dinner, don’t you think so, Ellen?
Oh, yes of course! We’d love to come over. Can I bring anything?
I don’t want go over to his place for dinner! He gives me the creeps! Why on earth did you accept?
Oh come on Ellen, it will be nice to get to know him. Besides, he’s new to the neighborhood, and it would be rude to decline his invitation.
I guess so... You always rope me into things like this!
Oh Oh Armand! You are too kind!
How did I get myself into this...  
Canceling an Appointment
Hello, Samantha speaking.
Hi Samantha. This is Angela calling.
Oh, hi Angela, what’s up?
I’m just calling about our meeting today. I wonder, is it possible to reschedule our appointment in the afternoon? I have a bit of an emergency that I need to take care of.
Let me see, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem...
I’m really sorry, I hope it doesn’t inconvenience you too much, it’s just this thing came up, and ...
Angela, you know what, I can’t make it to our meeting, either. Why don’t we postpone it to tomorrow afternoon at the same time?
Sounds great. See you tomorrow.
What? No wonder she told me she couldn’t make it to the meeting, oh, no, I think she saw me...  
Opening a Bank Account
Next, please. May I help you, sir?
Hello, yes, I’d like to open a bank account.
Certainly, I can help you with that. What type of account would you like to open? A chequing or a savings account?
What What features do they offer?
Well, if you just take a look here, see, with our chequing account, you can have unlimited daily transactions for a small monthly fee, and our savings account has a higher interest rate, but you must carry a minimum balance of $10,000 dollars.
I see, well, I think I’m more interested in a chequing account; I like to have easy access to my money.
Alright, then, with this chequing account you’ll be issued a debit card and a cheque book. Will you require overdraft protection? There is an extra fee for that.
No, that won’t be necessary.
In that case, I’ll get you to fill out this paperwork; I’ll need your social insurance number, and two pieces of government ID. If you could just sign here, and here, and here; we’ll be all set. Would you like to make a deposit today?
Yes, I’d like to deposit one billion dollars.  
Foul!
Has the game started yet?
Yeah, about 5 minutes ago.
Who’s winning?
The Bulls, of course!
What! That wasnt a foul! C’mon, ref!
Don’t worry, Shaq always screws up free throws.
You were right! He didn’t make the shot!
That was a great shot! A three pointer, yeah!
Did you see that? He traveled and the ref didn’t call it!
This ref needs glasses. Hey ref, open your eyes! I can’t believe he didn’t see that!
Okay... end of the first quarter... Alright, I’m gonna make a beer run.  
Live from Washington
This is Madeline Wright, for BCC News reporting live from Washington D. C. where, very shortly, the new President will deliver his inaugural address. Just moments ago, the President was sworn-in to office; following the United States Constitution the President swore an oath to faithfully execute the office of the presidency.
And what exactly is going on now, Madeline?
Well, Tom, true to American tradition, the band has just played “Hail to the Chief”, and the President has been honored by a 21-gun salute. Now we’re waiting for the President to take to the stage and deliver his speech. Tom, it’s like a who’s who of the political world here on Capital Hill, with dignitaries representing several different countries.
What’s the mood on the ground like, Madeline?
In a word, the mood here is electric. The excitement in the air is palpable; I’ve never seen a larger crowd here on Capital Hill, and the audience is shouting, crying, and embracing each other. On this, a most historic day, you can feel the hope and the excitement in the air. The 20th of January will go down in history as the... Oh, Tom, it looks like the President is about to begin...
He’s not a Good Fit
So, Lauren, I just wanted to talk to you quickly about our new customer support representative, Jason Huntley.
Sure, what’s up?
Basically, I’ve got a few concerns about him, and the bottom line is, I don’t think he’s a good fit for our company.
Okay... what makes you say that? I thought you were pleased with his overall performance. Didn’t you just tell me last week how impressed you were with his attitude?
Yeah, his attitude is great, but he’s really unreliable. Sometimes he’s really productive, but then other times... take last Tuesday for instance, he was forty-five minutes late for our morning meeting!
Well, I’m sure he had a perfectly good reason...
But that’s not the only thing... you know, he really doesn’t have the best work ethic, I’m constantly catching him on MSN and Facebook when he should be talking to clients.
Yeah, but come on, Geoff, as if you don’t check Facebook at work. Look, you hired this guy, we’ve invested a lot of time and money in his training, so now it’s up to you to coach him. Make it work, Geoff!
Make it work, Geoff. You would say that, wouldn’t you, he is your cousin; what a jerk, make me hire your stupid, useless, cousin. 
I’m Sorry, I Love You III
Steven! Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours!
I... um... there was an emergency at work, so...
I was waiting for you in the restaurant for three hours! And you didn’t even have the decency to call me! Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was?
Honey, I promise this won’t happen again, it’s just that I...
Yeah, right. I’ve heard it all before. I’m not going to take any more of your empty promises. This is the 5th time you’ve stood me up in two weeks! You need to get your priorities straight. I’m tired of you putting your job first all the time!
Come on, Veronica, that’s not fair. I do care about you a lot, you know that. I tried to ...
You know what? Maybe we should just take a break. I need some time to think about where this relationship is heading.
But... Veronica, would you just listen to me? There was a fire alarm at my office building today and I was stuck...  
Chinese New Year
I’m so excited about Chinese New Year! When do I get to visit Grandma? Grandma makes the best dumplings in the world!
Ha ha, right. Sounds to me like you’re more excited about the dumplings than seeing your Grandma.
Of course I miss Grandma, too. I bet she’s gonna teach me how to play Mahjong! Hey, Dad, are you going to buy me firecrackers this year? We’re going to have the best fireworks! I’m really looking forward to lighting them!
Son, firecrackers aren’t toys; they’re dangerous!
No, fireworks are awesome!
Whoa, don’t you remember? Last year when I set off the firecrackers, you covered both your ears and hid behind your mother?
Dad! I was scared because... because I saw a bug. That’s all.
Hahaha... really?
Oh, and I can’t wait to watch the dragon dance! Dad, can I sit on your shoulders this time?
Hey, I offered last year...
Well, I... anyways, I was just thinking of the red envelopes. I wanna make a list of all the things I’m gonna buy with my red envelope money! I can’t wait! I’m gonna have so much money! Mom, can I get a pen and a piece of paper?
I want a new transformer, no, two transformers...the Optimus Prime, and...maybe the wheeljack? I’ll get a PSP game, hahaha, and I’ll buy the entire class lunch at MacDonald’s...  
Buying a Car
Hi there, can I help you folks?
I’m just browsing; seeing what’s on the lot. My daughter wants a car for her birthday, you know how it is.
She is right, you know. Kids these days all have cars. Let me show you something we just got in: a 1996 sedan. Excellent gas mileage, it has dual airbags and anti lock brakes; a perfect vehicle for a young driver.
I see... What can you tell me about this one?
Oh, that’s just an old World War Two tank that we use for TV commercials. Now about this sedan...
Whoa, whoa wait a minute. Tell me more about this tank.
Well, Sir, if you are looking for quality and safety then look no further! Three inches of reinforced steel protect your daughter from short range missile attacks.
Does the sedan protect her from missile attacks?
It does not.
Well, I don’t know. Let me sleep on it.
Did I mention the tank is a tank?
I’ll take it!
My New Boyfriend
Irene! I heard you were on a date last night! So, how how did it go? I want all the juicy details!
Um... well, actually, we had a fantastic time last night. He was amazing!
Okay, now you really have to fill me in. What’s he like?
He’s really good looking; he’s quite tall, around 6’1”, he’s in his early thirties, and he’s got the most beautiful dark brown eyes...
He sounds hot! What does he do for a living?
You know what, this is the best part. David is a junior investment banker at Fortune Bank, so he’s got a great career path ahead of him!
Hold on a sec, his name is David?
Yeah?
That’s my brother!  
Can I ask you a favor?
Um, sorry to bother you, um... my name is Rachel. I’m new here. Can I ask you a favor?
Hi Rachel, welcome on board. I’m afraid I can’t help you right now. I’m getting ready for a very important meeting.
Excuse me, but can I bother you for a sec?
Sorry to interrupt you Sean, could you do me a quick favor?
Geeze! I just want to know where the bathroom is! What’s wrong with you people! 
Movie Trailer
In a digital world, even the strongest must fight for survival. Two people, possess a secret so valuable, so powerful, they have to defend it at all costs.
I don’t care where they are, I don’t care what it takes... you find them and bring them to me!
They only had one chance! And their chance was to fight back!
With a little help from a Governor...
Nothing will prevent them from doing their job! Double the action.
Triple the excitement.
This summer... nothing will stand in their way.
I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.
Two hosts, one podcast, coming to a theater near you.  
I Need More Time
So, Casey, how are things going with the photos for the press kit?
Yeah, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I might need to ask for an extension on that deadline.
You’ve had over a month to get this finalized! Why are things delayed?
Well, the thing is, we ran into a lot of problems...
I’m not looking for excuses here. I just want to get this finished on time!
I know, and I apologize for the delay. But some things were just beyond my control. I had trouble booking the photographer, and then Michael was sick for three weeks, so I couldn’t include him in the photos, and the design team lost all the files, so I had to re-do the pictures.
I’m not going to put this off any longer, Casey! I want those photos ASAP!  
Applying for a Visa
So, you’re applying for a B2 visa, where is your final destination and what’s the purpose of your trip to the United States?
I’m going to visit my brother; he’s just had a baby. He lives in Minneapolis.
And how long do you you plan to remain in the United States?
I’ll be here for approximately three weeks. See, here’s my return ticket for the twenty-sixth of March.
And, who is sponsoring your trip?
My brother, here, this is an invitation letter from him. I will stay with him and his family in their home.
Alright, tell me about the ties you have to your home country.
Well, I own a house; actually, I’m leaving my dog there with my neighbors. I have a car at home, and oh, my job! I’m employed by Tornel as an engineer. Actually, I only have three weeks’ vacation, so I have to go back to work at the end of March.
And what evidence do you have that you are financially independent?
Well, I do have assets in my country; like I said, I own a house, and see, here’s a bank statement showing my investments, and my bank balance.
I’m sorry, sir, we cannot grant you a B2 visa at this time, instead, you are granted a resident visa! Congratulations, you are the millionth person to apply for a visa! You win! Congratulations!  
Small Talk
Morning.
Hi there Mr. Anderson! How are you on this fine morning?
Fine, thank you.
It sure is cold this morning, isn’t it? I barely even get out of bed!
Yeah. It’s pretty cold, alright.
Did you catch the news this morning? I heard that there was a fire on Byron Street.
No, I didn’t hear about that.
Did you happen to watch the football game last night? The Patriots scored in the last minute!
No, I don’t like football.
Oh... By the way, I saw you with your daughter at the office Christmas party. She is really beautiful!
She’s my wife! Oh, here’s my floor! Nice talking to you. Goodbye.
Sir this is the 56th floor! We are on the 70th!
That’s okay, I’ll take the stairs!  
I’m Sorry I love You IV
... so, I said, ”let’s take a break.” And since that night, I’ve been waiting for him to call, but I still haven’t heard from him. You don’t think he’s seeing someone else, do you?
Come on, don’t be so dramatic! I’m sure everything is going to work out just fine.
You think so? Oh, no! How can he do this to me? I’m sure he’s cheating on me! Why else wouldn’t he call?
But, you two are on a break. Theoretically he can do whatever he likes.
He’s the love of my life! I’ve really messed this up.
Come on, hon. Pull yourself together. It’s going to be alright.
But I... I still love him! And it’s all my fault! I can’t believe how immature and selfish I was being. I mean, he is a firefighter, it’s not like he can just leave someone in a burning building and meet me for dinner. I’ve totally messed this up!
You know what, Veronica, I think you should make the first step. I’m sure he’ll forgive you...
No, this is not gonna happen! I... I’ve ruinedeverything...
Hey... do you hear something? Guess what? It’s your lovely firefighter!
Emergency Room
Help! Are you a doctor? My poor little Frankie has stopped breathing! Oh my gosh, Help me! I tried to perform CPR, but I just don’t know if I could get any air into his lungs! Oh, Frankie!
Ellen, get him hooked up to a monitor! Someone page Dr. Howser. Get the patient to hold still, I can’t get a pulse! Okay, he’s on the monitor. His BP is falling! He’s flat lining!
NOOOOOO! Frankie! Doctor! Do something!
Someone get her out of here! Get me the defibrillator. Okay, clear! Again! Clear! Come on! dammit! I’m not letting you go! Clear! I’ve got a pulse!
The patient is in acute respiratory failure, I think were going to have to intubate!
Doctor, oh, thank god! How is he?
We managed to stabilize Frankie, but he’s not out of the woods yet; he’s still in critical condition. Were moving him to intensive care, but...
Doctor, just do whatever it takes. I just want my little Frankie to be okay. I couldnt imagine life without my little hamster!  
Just In Time Strategy
I called this meeting today in order to discuss our manufacturing plan. As I’m sure you’re all aware, with the credit crunch, and the global financial crisis, we’re obligated to look for more cost efficient ways of producing our goods. We don’t want to have to be looking at redundancies. So, we’ve outlined a brief plan to implement the just-in-time philosophy.
We have two basic points that we want to focus on. First of all, we want to reduce our lead time.
Well, we want to reduce production and delivery lead timesfor better overall efficiency.
Right, production lead times can be reduced by moving work stations closer together, reducing queue length, like for example, reducing the number of jobs waiting to be processed at a given machine, and improving the coordination and cooperation between successive processes. Delivery lead times can be reduced through close cooperation with suppliers, possibly by inducing suppliers to locate closer to the factory or working with a faster shipping company.
The second point is that we want to require supplier quality assurance and implement a zero defects quality program. We currently have far too many errors that lead to defective items and therefore, they must be eliminated. A quality control at the source program must be implemented to give workers the personal responsibility for the quality of the work they do, and the authority to stop production when something goes wrong.
Exactly. Well, let’s look at how we’re going to put this plan into action. First...(fade out)  
Carnival in Rio!
I can’t believe we’re here! Carnival in Rio! Seriously, this is like a once in a lifetime opportunity! Can you believe it? We’re here at the biggest party in the world!
I know! We’re so lucky that we found tickets for the Sambadrome! Good thing we found that ticket scalper.
Look! It’s starting! Wow, this is amazing! Look at how many dancers there are. Oh my gosh! The costumes are so colorful! This is so cool!
It says here that the school that is dancing now is one of the oldest and most prestigious samba schools in Rio.
No kidding! Look at them, they’re amazing! Look at that girl on the top of that float! She must be the carnival queen! Move over there so I can get a picture of you!
Ok. Hurry up take the picture!
Oh really.... no I can’t. No really, I don’t know how to dance! Honey I’ll see you later!
Patrick! Don’t just leave me here!  
Daddy Please!
Hey daddy! You look great today; I like your tie! By the way, I was wondering can I...
NO!
I havent even told you what it is yet!
Okay, okay, what do you want?
Do you think I could borrow the car? I’m going to a concert tonight.
Um.. I don’t think so. I need the car tonight to pick up your mother.
Ugg! I told you about it last week! Smelly Toes is playing, and Eric asked if I would go with him!
Who’s this Eric guy?
Duh! He’s like the hottest and most popular guy at school! Come on, dad! Please!
No can do... sorry.
Fine then! Would you mind giving me 100 bucks?
No way!
That’s so unfair!  
New Guy In Town III
Please make yourselves at home. Let me take your coats. Dinner is almost ready; I hope you brought your appetite.
Your house is lovely, Armand! Very interesting 
It would be my pleasure. Please have a seat. Can I offer you a glass of wine?
Here you are. A very special merlot brought directly from my home country. It has a unique ingredient which gives it a pleasant aroma and superior flavor.
It’s a bit bitter for my taste... almost tastes like... like...
Did she pass out?
I hope that you didn’t poison her drink too much! You’ll ruin our meal!  
What a Bargain!
Hello. May I help you?
Yeah, this dress is really nice! How much is it?
That one is one hundred and fifty dollars.
One hundred and fifty dollars? What about this other one over here?
That’s one hundred and forty dollars.
Hmm... that’s a bit out of my price range. Can you give me a better deal?
This is an exclusive design by DaMarco! It’s a bargain at that price.
Well, I don’t know. I think I’ll shop around.
Okay, okay, how about one hundred dollars?
That’s still more than I wanted to spend. What if I take both dresses?
Okay, I can give you a special discount, just because you seem like a nice person. One hundred and ninety dollars for both.
I don’t know... It’s still a bit pricey.... Thanks anyway.
Okay, my final price! One hundred dollars for both! That’s two for the price of one. That’s my last offer!
Great! You’ve got a deal!  
Pizza Delivary
Good evening, Pizza House. This is Marty speaking. May I take your order?
Um yes... I'd like a medium pizza with pepperoni, olives, and extra cheese.
We have a two-for-one special on large pizzas. Would you like a large pizza instead?
Sure, that sounds good.
Great! Would you like your second pizza to be the same as the first?
No, make the second one with ham, pineapple and green peppers. Oh, and make it thin crust.
Okay, thin crust. Your total is $21.50 and your order will arrive in thirty minutes or it’s free!
Perfect. Thank you. Bye..
Sir, wait!! I need your address!  
Head Chef
Right away sir, your order will be ready shortly. Jean Pierre, we have another special for table seven!
I’m working as fast as I can! We’re really in the weeds! Where is my sous chef? Luc! I need you to peel more potatoes. Marie, chop some onions and carrots for the stew.
Jean Pierre another special! We’re really packed tonight! We’re running low on wine. Is there any left in the cellar?
Harry, stop talking and get over here I need this sauce stirred and the fish needs to be butchered and buttered.
Jean Pierre, table seven has requested to see the chef! I think they are food critics from Cuisine Magazine.  
I’m Sorry I Love You V
Honey, of course I forgive you! I love you so much! I’ve really missed you. I was wrong to get upset over nothing.
I’m sorry I haven’t called or anything, but right after you decided you wanted a break, I was called up north to put out some major forest fires! I was in the middle of nowhere, working day and night, trying to prevent the blaze from spreading! It was pretty intense.
Oh, honey, I’m glad you’re okay! But I have some exciting news... I think I’m pregnant!
Really? Wow, that’s amazing! This is great news! I’ve always wanted to be a father! We’ll go to the doctor first thing in the morning!
Are you sure? Are these things accurate?
What’s wrong? Why are you asking these questions?
This baby isn’t mine! I was away the first week of February at a training seminar!
I... I... no, it can’t be...  
Hockey
Hello everyone! I’m Rick Fields, and here with me is Bob Copeland.
Howdy folks, and welcome to today’s game! You know, Rick, today is a key game between Russia and Canada. As you know, the winner will move on to the finals.
That’s right, and it looks like we’re just about ready to start the match. The ref is calling the players for the face-off... and here we go! The Russians win possession and immediately set up their attack! Federov gets checked hard into the boards!
Maurice Richard has the puck now, and passes it to the center. He shoots! Wow what a save by the goalie!
Alright, the puck is back in play now. Pavel Bure is on a breakaway! He is flying down the ice! The defenders can’t keep up! Slap shot! He scores
What an amazing goal!  
Planning a Bank Robbery
All right, so this is what we are going to do. I’ve carefully mapped this out, so don’t screw it up. Mr. Rabbit, you and Mr. Fox will go into the bank wearing these uniforms. We managed to get replicas of the one the guards wear when they pick up the money.
Got it.
When you get inside, tell them that you are filling in for Carl and Tom, and say that they are on another route today. Don’t lose your cool. Just act natural.
What if they want to call and confirm?
You let him.
Dont worry, we have the phones tapped, so the call will be patched through to me, and I'll pretend to be the transport company.
Ha ha, you are so clever boss!
Okay, shut up. Only take as much money as you can fit in these bags. Dont get greedy! Are you ready? Let’s go. 
Malfunction
Hey Carl, can you make a copy of this contract for me please? When you have it ready, send it out ASAP to our subbranch.
Sure! Um... I think I broke this thing. Maxine, can you help me out here? I’m not really a tech guy.
Sure! Dammit! Everything in this office seems to be breaking down! Never mind. I’ll send this stupid fax later. Oh great! Is someone playing a practical joke on me? This is ridiculous!
I have to go up fifteen floors! Never mind. Made it! There is the copier! 
This Is Your Captain Speaking
And the next thing you know, we’re running towards the... Oh... did you feel that?
Yeah, don’t worry about it; we’re just going through a bit of turbulence.
This why I hate flying... Oh!
Did you hear that? OH MY GOD! Brent!
Don’t worry about it. This is totally normal. It happens all the...
Job Interview I
Okay, so let’s go over everything one more time. I really want you to get this job!
I know! It’s an amazing growth opportunity! They’re true industry leaders, and it would be so interesting to be part of an organization that is the undisputed leader in business process platform development.
So, let’s see, you did your research on the company, right?
Well, I visited their website and read up on what they do. They’re an IT service company that offers comprehensive business solutions for large corporations. They provide services such as CRM development, and they also offer custom designed applications.
So what would your role in the company?
Well, the position is for an account manager. That basically means that I would be the link between our clients and our development team.
Sounds good, and so, why do you want to work with them?
Well, as I said they’re the industry leaders, they have a really great growth strategy, amazing development opportunities for employees, and it seems like they have strong corporate governance. They’re all about helping companies grow and unleashing potential. I guess their core values and mission really resonated with me. Oh, and they offer six weeks’ vacation, stock options and bonuses... I’m totally going to cash in on that.
You idiot! Don’t say that! Do you want this job, or not? 
New Guy in Town IV
All right, drag her over here, and help me tie her up.
I can’t believe she fell for it! She is a lot more gullible than I thought!
Well, you gotta admit, my acting was brilliant!
Whatever. I was the one that convinced her to come. Look, she’s waking up!
The cat’s out of the bag, you witch! You can stop pretending, now!
Yeah Lois , we know who you are! Now, we want some answers! Why are you here?
Run! 
Swim faster!
This is such a beautiful day! Great day for sailing!
It sure is! The water looks so nice! Anchor the boat for a little while. I’m going to take a dip.
Why are you doggy-paddling? I taught you how to swim! Do your breast stroke!
I get too tired! I’ll just backstroke, it’s easier!
Try kicking your legs more. That’s good. Don’t go out too far!
It’s fine! Jump in!
Kathy! Get back here! I see a shark!
Ahhhh!!!! Help me! Help! Bring the boat closer! The shark is coming straight towards me!
It’s right under you! Kathy!!!!! 
Job Interview II
Thanks for coming in today, did you have any trouble finding us? Please take a seat.
Thank you.
So, let’s get started; tell me a bit about your educational background.
Sure! Well, I graduated with honors from Chesterton University with a major in Business Administration, with a specialization in Information Management, and I minored in psychology. I chose this course of study for two reasons: I wanted to gain some practical, marketable skills, which the information management track provided, and I also feel that interpersonal skills are essential for professional success, hence the minor in psychology.
Interesting. And, your postgraduate studies?
Well, I am really passionate about consumer behavior, so I pursued a master’s in that area. I also strive to keep my professional skills current, so I continuously attend seminars and conferences related management and customer service.
Very good. Now, tell me a little bit about your work experience. I see here that you previously worked at Oracle.
Yeah, I worked as their customer support manager, which brought me a breadth of experience in both client care, and process management. I supervised and coordinated the customer support team as well as implemented new strategies to achieve better customer satisfaction.
Interesting...
Yes, in this position I was able to make some pretty significant contributions to the overall success of the company. With the different initiatives that we implemented, we lowered our churn rate to about five percent, which had a direct impact on revenue. 
Receptionist
Good afternoon. May I help you?
Yes, I’m here to see Joanna Stevens. I have an appointment at four.
Certainly, may I take your name? I’ll let her know you’ve arrived.
Sure, it’s Josh O’Neil.
Ms. Stevens will be with you momentarily. Can I offer you something to drink?
Yes, a coffee would be nice, thank you.
Here you are. Ms. Stevens is ready for you now. I’ll show you to her office, right this way.
Just watch your step here... 
I’m Sorry I Love You VI
This is ridiculous! I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping with someone else! How could you do this! You know what? I’m out of here!
Wait! Doctor how is this possible? I haven’t cheated on my boyfriend!
Wait... what? What do do you mean?
What are you talking about!!! Who are you?
You are insane! We never even spoke! Why did you lie like that to my boyfriend?
I heard everything, you lying bastard! Get your hands off her! 
Job Interview III
Very good. Now, I have a couple of final questions.
I hope they’re not too hard!
Well, why should we hire you?
I think that I would be a perfect fit in this company. I have a unique combination of strong technical acumen, with outstanding soft skills; you know, I excel at building strong, long-term customer relationships. For example, when I headed the customer support department in my previous company, our team solved about seventy percent of our customers’ problems. I decided that we needed better information and technical preparation on our products, so after I implemented a series of training sessions in coordination with our technical department, we were able to solve ninety percent of our customers’ issues. Given the opportunity, I could bring this kind of success to this company.
Impressive! So, what would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
To be honest, I struggle with organization and time management. Punctuality has never been a strength of mine. I find it hard to organize my time efficiently. I have actually addressed this weakness recently, by attending a workshop on efficient time management. It helped me a lot, by providing me with great insights on how to get organized and use my time efficiently, so I think I’m getting better now.
Great... Well, let me tell you that I am very pleased with this interview. We are short-listing our candidates this week, and next week we will inform our short listed candidates of the day and time for a second interview with our CEO.
Great, thanks a lot! I hope to hear from you! Good bye. 
Calling The Office
Ello-hay, Aniel-day eaking-spay, ow-hay ay-may I elp-hay ou-yay
Ay-hay, Aniel-day, Ulie-jay ere-hay
Ay-hay, Ulie-jay, ow-hay are ou-yay?
Actually, Im eeling-fay ite-quay ill otday-tay.
Im orry-say oo-tay ear-hay, at- They. ut-way is ong-wray?
I ink-thay Im oming-cay own-day ith-way uhthey oo-flay. I ave-hay a eadache-hay, a ore-say oat-thray and Im eeling-fay ighly-slay everishfay.
I ee-say. O-say oure-yay alling-cay in ick-say?
Es-yay, I uz-way oping-hay oo-tay ake-tay uh- They ay-day off oo-tay eecover-ray.
Ok, en- They. Ay-tray and et-gay ome-say est-ray. 
Soccer
Welcome back, soccer fans. My name is Rick Fields and, as always, I am joined by my commentating wingman, Bob Copeland.
And we’re on the brink of soccer history today, as Ecuador and Brazil are tied one-one as we begin the second half of the 2022 World Cup!
The ref calls the players for the kick off, and here we go! Ecuador quickly passes the ball to the midfield, but, ohhh, it’s out of bounds.
That will be a throw in for Brazil. Adriano has the ball and makes a long pass to Robinho, and the ref has called him offside.
No question about it. He was offside by a mile! We have a goal kick for Ecuador. Edison Mendez heads it to Valenica, he shoots! Deflected by the defender and we have a corner kick.
Delgado takes the corner. We have a foul! Oh no, Dida, the goalkeeper, has fouled the Ecuadorian player! He gets a yellow card and that will be a penalty kick!
This is the perfect opportunity for Ecuador to get ahead in this match and become World Champions! He gets ready for the kick. He shoots! and he... 
Ground breaking Research
We’ve been over this a thousand times. The data is irrefutable! Look, we’ve done extensive research, built studies, and read the literature, and there is conclusive evidence to support my theory!
Horowitz, I beg to differ. Even in your most recent study, the investigative approach was flawed! You know as well as I do that the collection of data was not systematic, and there is a large margin of error. To draw a definitive conclusion based on that data would be misleading
That is preposterous!
You are trying to single-handedly solve one of the world’s greatest mysteries, and yet you are oblivious to the fact that you are wrong!
I am not wrong! The chicken came first!
No! The egg came first!  
How Would You Like Your Eggs?
Wow, you’re up early today! What’s for breakfast?
Well, I felt like baking, so I made some muffins.
Smells good! I’ll make some coffee. Do you want me to make you some eggs?
Sure, I'll take mine, sunny side up.
Eww, I don’t know how you can eat your eggs like that! Ever since I was small, I’ve had eggs and soldiers.
You know, my dad had scrambled eggs eggs every morning for twenty years. It drove my mom crazy!
You know what really drives me crazy? When I ask for soft boiled eggs, and they overcook them, so they come out hard boiled! How can you dip your toast into a hard boiled egg?
You’re so picky sometimes.
Here you go, honey, fried eggs.
Dammit! I said sunny side up! How many times do I have to tell you!
Buying Underwear
This sucks; I hate buying lingerie. Okay, just find something and get out of here. Alright, these are fine. Oh, no, don’t come over here, don’t come over here.
You look a little lost, can I help you?
Um, I’m just having a look around. It’s my girlfriend’s birthday tomorrow. Im trying to find her something.
Well, you can’t give her granny panties. Have you thought about getting her some sleepwear? We’ve got these lovely, silky nighties. Or, how about a nice panty-and and-bra set. Look, here’s a nice satin push-up bra, and you can choose a few different styles of undies to go with it.
Sure that’s fine.
This is so awkward...what ones do I pick? What size is she?
Well, do you want a thong, some bikini briefs, maybe this nice pair of lacy boy shorts?
Just pick something and get the hell out of here.
Um, I’ll go with these two.
This is mortifying; I just want to get this over with. She better thank me for this... Here you are, sir. I’m sure she’ll enjoy them.
Finally!
I’m sorry, sir. I’m going to have to take a look inside your bag. 
Happy Hour
Hey man, what do you have on tap?
Heineken and Budweiser. We have a two-for-one happy hour special.
Cool, gimme a pint of Heineken and half a pint of Bud.
Okay...A pint of Heineken and and half a pint of bud for table six! And what about some appetizers?
Sure! Let’s have some nachos and mozzarella sticks.
Okay. That’ll be 80 bucks.
Wait... What! 
You Are Fired!
Hi Isabel! You wanted to see me?
Yes Anthony, come on in. Have a seat.
Is everything okay? You seem a bit preoccupied.
Well, Anthony, this is not going to be an easy conversation. The company has made some decisions which will have a direct impact on your employment.
Okay...
I don’t want to beat around the bush so I’m just gonna come out with it. We are going to have to let you go.
What? Why? I mean... just like that? I’m fired?
I’m sorry but, to be honest, you are a terrible employee!
What! I resent that!
Anthony, you were caught making international calls from the office phone, you called in sick in eight times this month and you smell like alcohol! 
Which Finger?
...The rings please. May this ring be blessed so he who gives it and she who wears it may abide in peace, and continue in love until life’s end.
With this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment.
Honey, that’s my pinkie. The ring goes on the ring finger!
This one?
That’s my index finger!
Oh, right. This one, right?
Umm... that’s the thumb, Nick.
Okay, Okay, I got it! This is the ring finger!
That’s my middle finger, Nick. This is my ring finger! 
What Am I Thinking!
Miss, your salad.
Mmm, looks good! I’m positively famished.
And for you, sir...
Enjoy.  
Um... I...
You’re eating my salad.
Going To The Dentist
Hey, Gary, great to see you again. Please have a seat. So tell me, what seems to be the problem?
Thanks, doc. I’ve got a really bad toothache! I can’t eat anything, and look, my face is all swollen. I think it might be my wisdom tooth.
Well, let’s have a look. Open wide. Hmm... this doesn’t look good. Well, it looks like you have a cavity and your crown is loose. We’ll need to put in a filling before it gets any worse, and the crown probably needs to be refitted. I’m going to order some x-rays.
Is it gonna hurt?
No, not at all! Just lay back and relax.
Ok, spit. 
Learning Simple Math
Alright, children, let’s review. Tommy! Pay attention!
Sorry Miss Kadlec.
Okay, Crystal, now tell me, what’s four plus eleven?
Miss Kadlec always asks Crystal; she’s such a teacher’s pet.
Okay...and what about fifty six minus sixty?
Very good... twelve times twelve?
Very good. Suck up.
Zero divided by one?
How did you know that? Okay, smarty pants, the square root of two!
Bet you’re not going to get that one, know-it-all.
F1 Racing
Welcome back racing fans! My name is Rick Fields and, as always, I am joined by my partner in crime, Bob Copeland.
We’re in the last stretch of this very exciting race, and Kimi Rikknen is leading the pack with only four laps to go! They are heading to turn three and Lewis Hamilton tries to pass Rikknen! It’s a close one and, oh no! Hamilton hits the wall!
He came in too fast, jammed on the breaks and spun out. We have a yellow flag and the pace car is making its way onto the track.
The cleanup crew is towing the heavily damaged car and the green flag drops! Rikknen is still in the lead with only two laps to go!
Smoke is coming out of his car! He seems to be having engine trouble! He makes his way into the pit, and Fernando Alonso takes the lead!
How unlucky for Rikknen, and this race is over ladies and gentlemen, Alonso takes the checkered flag! 
International Workers Day
Alright everyone settle down. Let’s get started. As you know, an important aspect of becoming a good citizen is understanding the genesis of our legal system. It is not enough to simply memorize our laws, it is necessary that we comprehend why and how they were formed. This brings me to our topic for today. Does anyone know what we celebrate on May first?
Cinco de mayo?
No, that’s May fifth in Spanish, James, no wonder you are failing my Spanish class. No, May first is International Workers’ Day.
Do we get a day off from school then?
No! It is not considered to be a national holiday here in the US, but in other countries it is.
Aww, man!
In the nineteenth century, working conditions were appalling, with workers being forced to work ten, twelve, and fourteen hours a day. Support for the eight-hour work day movement was growing rapidly, despite the indifference and hostility of many union leaders, and by April 1886, 250,000 workers were involved in the May Day movement. Previous legislative attempts to improve working conditions had failed, so labor organizers took drastic measures. They passed a resolution stating that eight hours would constitute a legal day’s work. And, on May First 1886, the resolution took effect.
Cool! Is that why we only work eight hours now?
Yes! But the happy ending came at a high price. On May third, 1886, police fired into a crowd of strikers at the McCormick Reaper Works Factory, killing four and wounding many. A mass meeting was called for the next day to protest the brutality.
And then what happened?
Well, as we say, the rest is history... 
Funky Galaxy Battles
They are breaking through! Set your blasters to full power!
Excellent job. Search the ship, she’s gotta be in here somewhere... bring her to me!
Where is she? Don’t make me destroy you, tell me where she is!
You are unwise to think you can defeat me. You know nothing of the power of the obscure side!
After them!
I’m Sorry I Love You VII
Thank god you showed up when you did! He’s insane! Do you think we should call the police?
Don’t worry about it, I’ll call my friend and have him take care of it. I can’t believe he was stalking you all these years. What a nut job!
I know! Well... he said I’m not pregnant. I’m sorry if I got you all worked up over nothing. I want you to know that I didn’t do it on purpose...
Don’t apologize! From the moment I met you, not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now that I’m with you again, I’m... I’m just scared, Veronica. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you, I mean, I just can’t handle it! We were made for each other, Veronica. You are my everything, my soul mate. What can I do?
Just hold me... I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. And together, we can tackle whatever life throws at us. I believe in us, Steven.
I’m so happy to hear that! I knew we belong together. I love you so much. 
Getting A Hair Cut
Hello there! Come on in! Don’t just stand there! Come and take a seat!
Um, okay. Well, I just want a trim. Nothing too fancy.
Oh my gosh! Your hair is amazing! So silky, so shiny! I am going to work my magic on your hair! You hear me? You are going to look like a million bucks!
Okay. Um... can you make sure my sideburns are even and you just take a little off the top.
Don’t you worry, I’ll take care of everything! (starts cutting) Oh my god! I just love your curly hair! It’s so fluffy and cute! You should totally let it grow out. An afro would look great on you!
Um... no.
Okay, but you are going to be my masterpiece! 
New Guy In Town V
What the heck is going on! Did you see that? What was that thing?
I don’t know! I’m just glad we made it out! Look, there is a police car! Help! Help! Please stop!
Officer, officer, there is, like, a witch creature back there! We tied her up but she broke free, and she was about to have us for dinner!
We are telling the truth! She’s in there! We suspected her of being a kidnapper or rapist but it turns out she’s an alien or something.
Ugg! Seriously! Are you gonna help us or not?
Be careful! She might be hiding!
Using The ATM
Stupid girl, making me spend so much money, now I have to get it from the ATM...
Hello, welcome to Universal Bank. Please insert your card into the slot.
I know where to put my card! Stupid machine, talking to me like I’m an idiot...
Please input your 6 digit PIN code followed by the pound key. Thank you. Please select an option. Thank you. You have selected withdrawal.
Yeah, yeah, I know what I selected. Just gimme my money!
Please type the amount you would like to withdraw. Thank you, you want to transfer 10000 USD to the World Wildlife Foundation. If this is correct please press 1.
No, no! Stupid machine, what are you doing! No!
Confirmed. Thank you for using our bank! Please remove your card from the slot. Goodbye!
No! 
At The Pharmacy
Hello sir, how can I help you?
Yes, I need this prescription please.
Let’s see. Okay, so 50 mg of Prozac, would you prefer this in capsule or tablet?
Capsules are fine.
Okay, you should take 1 capsule 3 times a day. Be sure not to take it on an empty stomach, and also, don’t ever mix it with alcohol!
Yes, I know. It’s not the first time I’m taking this! Don’t worry, I won’t overdose!
Okay, anything else I can get you?
Oh, yes, I almost forgot! Can I also get some eye drops and um, some condoms?
Sure. Darn condoms aren’t registered in our system.
Oh, well that’s okay, I’ll get some later, thanks... Really it’s no problem.
Just hang on there a sec. Can I get a price check on ”Fun Times Ribbed Condoms” please! 
Baseball
Hello baseball fans, and welcome back to today’s game! My name is Rick Fields and of course, I am here, once again, with the man that seals the deal, Bob Copeland.
It’s a beautiful day to see two world class teams face each other and fight for their right to be called champions.
Well, the national anthem has just been sung, and the umpire has started the game. It’s time to play ball!
Roger Vargas is up at bat. The pitcher winds up and strike one!
A very nice curve ball by the pitcher. The catcher gives him the sign, he winds up and Vargas gets a line drive!
The players are scrambling to get the ball. Vargas gets to first base and he’s still going! The outfielder throws it to second! Vargas slides! He’s safe!
Great play!
We have a runner on third and up at bat is Brian Okami! There’s the pitch, he hits it! It’s going, going, that ball is gone!
Home run by Okami! That puts this team ahead by two as we are at the bottom of the fifth inning here at Richie Stadium! 
Looking for an Apartment
Hi! We are the Christianson’s! We are here to see the apartment.
Oh, hi! Sure, come on in! Well, as you can see, the place has just been renovated. The previous tenants left a huge mess here, so the landlord has redone everything.
It looks great. It’s so bright and airy! What great light! I really like these hardwood floors. What’s the square footage of this place?
Well, it’s about 120 square meters, or 1300 
I love it! But wait, what are the payment terms?
First and last month rent as deposit and rent is due on the 1st of every month. Considering the amount of money invested into the apartment, it’s a very good deal!
Yes, it is! Too good to be true...
The living room and dinning room are quite spacious as you can see, and down this hall, here’s the master bedroom. It has a huge walk-in closet and an en suit bathroom. We can’t go in there yet as the police... I mean the clean up crew hasn’t finished.
What do you mean? What’s in here? 
Star Trek The Lost Generation
Captain, we’re under attack by an unidentified ship.
Damage report.
We’ve sustained heavy damage to the engines. We’ve lost our warp drive.
We’ll have to attempt to make contact. This is Captain Picard of the Starship Enterprise. We don’t wish to engage. What is the nature of this attack?
No! You’re not doing it right! Kor doesn’t sound like that. His voice is deeper!
No! If you can’t do a Klingon voice, I’ll have to find a more serious Star Trek fan actor who actually can, OK?
Will You Be My Girlfriend?
Hey, you’re early! Where’s everyone?
Well... I told them not to come. I made a reservation just for the two of us. I thought we could have an quiet evening all to ourselves.
Oh... why?
Jennifer, there’s something I wanna ask you.
Sure. What is it?
Hmm... okay, here’s the thing. I’ve always seen you as more than just a friend, and I can’t take it any more. I know you better than anyone, I know the pros and cons of your personality, I even know what side of the bed is yours! I think we would be great together, don’t you?
Are you serious? We’ve been friends for years! We can’t just change that overnight!
I know! I never had the guts to tell you... until today. So, what do you say? Are you willing to give me a shot?
I... I... 
At The Airport
Next please! Hello sir, may I see your passport please?
Yes, here you go.
Will you be checking any bags.
Yes, I’d like to check three pieces.
I’m sorry, sir. Airline policy allows only two pieces of checked luggage, at twenty kilograms each, plus one piece of carry-on luggage. I will have to charge you extra for the additional suitcase.
What? Why! I am taking an intercontinental flight! I’m flying sixteen thousand kms! How am I supposed to only take two, twenty kilo bags? That’s absurd!
I am sorry, sir, there’s nothing I can do. You cannot board the flight with that large bag either. Carry-on bags must fit in the over-head compartment or under your seat. That bag is clearly too big.
Now I see. You charge next to nothing for an international ticket, but when it comes to charging for any other small thing, you charge an arm and a leg! So tell me, miss, how much will I have to pay for all of this.
Let’s see... six hundred and twenty-five US dollars.
That’s more than my round-trip ticket! 
I’m Sorry I Love You VIII
Veronica! Veronica! Veronica! Are you OK?
Steven! What’s going on! Who were those guys? I didn’t know you have a gun! What’s going on!
I will come clean as soon as we get to safety, OK? For now, you have to trust me, please! I would never do anything to hurt you.
Steven, I...
Okay, run! I haven’t been completely honest with you Veronica, I’m sorry. I’m not a fireman. I’m not even from the United States. I’m a spy for the Indian government.
What? Why didn’t you tell me before? What are you doing here?
When I was a young boy, I used to play cricket my father back in my hometown of Hyderabad. It was a peaceful town, and my father was a renowned chemist. One day, he was approached by members of the CIA, claiming that my father had made the discovery of the millennium in his small lab back at the university where he taught bio-chemistry. I never saw him again. I vowed to discover the whereabouts of my father and consequently joined the Indian Intelligence Bureau.
What does that have to do with those men shooting at us? Most importantly, why did you lie to me!
I’m sorry, I wasn’t supposed to meet you. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you, but you have to believe me when I tell you that what I feel for you is real.
I can’t believe this! Why are all these things happening to me! I can’t take it anymore! Let me out of the car! 
Aliens!
Oh honey, this is so romantic! I have never seen so many stars before! It’s beautiful!
See that constellation there? That’s Orion! And the very bright star? Well, it’s not a star since it doesn’t blink. That’s actually Venus.
What’s that big flashy one?
I don’t know... I think it’s a UFO!
Why are you here? Where did you come from?
You think you have us figured out? What gives you the right to come and judge us? Who are you to play God with our fate?
1950’s English
Heya, Tracy. How are you doing?
I’m swell, Sandy!
Hey listen, you wanna go to the sock hop with me this Friday? It’ll be a blast!
First of all it’s the Sadie Hawkins dance. The girls gotta ask the guys. Also...
Oh, right. So when are you gonna ask me? I’ve had my eye on you for a while.
Cool it, guys.
Your girl? Says who?
Volleyball
It’s a beautiful day here in New Zealand at the Men’s Volleyball world championship. My name is Rick Fields and I’m joined by the man with the plan, Bob Copeland.
Thank you, Rick. We’ve got a very exciting encounter ahead of us today as two powerhouse teams, Brazil and China, face off against each other and try to qualify for the next round. Without a doubt, both teams are in top shape and this will prove to be a competitive match.
The ref signals the start of the game and here we go. Ribeiro serves and China quickly receives the ball. Chen bumps it to the setter, and... a very nice set by Chen!
Xu spikes it! Wow, what a great hit! The Brazilian blockers anticipated the play and tried to block him but he managed to get the ball in! Great play.
It’s China’s service now. What a superb jump serve by Li, oh, and we have a let serve. The ball was coming in fast and almost made it over the net.
Brazil calls for a time out and we’ll be right back, after a short commercial break.  
Big Bang Theory
What’s up? You don’t look too good.
Yeah, my head hurts, that’s all. I’ve been in physics class all day. It’s killer!
I liked physics. It’s all math, really; arcs, curves, velocity, cool stuff.
Yeah, yeah, but today’s lesson was all about the creation of the universe.
A physics class about the creation of the universe? That’s some pretty unscientific language there. Sounds more religious to me.
It’s all religion. Take the theory of the Big Bang. How is it possible that all of the stuff in the universe comes from an explosion? That’s no better than Atlas carrying the globe on his back or African myths about turtles and stuff.
Turtles? Whatever... Look, all that’s required for the creation of matter an imbalance of particles and anti-particles. At least, that’s what the math says.
Math, shmath. What’s the evidence?
There is evidence! You know Edwin Hubble? He’s the guy who in the early twentieth century was the first scientist to measure the drift of matter in the universe, thus advancing notions of an expanding universe. What would it be expanding from? Well, the Big Bang... DUH!
Anyway, it’s just a theory. Why do people go around touting theories? Where’s the scientific rigor in that?
Dude, don’t equivocate. A theory only becomes a theory after withstanding rigorous testing. You slept through class, didn’t you?
Agh! You’re making my head hurt again! Quit with the questions! 
Talking About a Past Event
Mike! Hey, how are you, man! Long time no see!
Hey, Pat! Yeah, I haven’t seen you in ages! How are you?
I’m doing great! It’s funny running into you like this. Just last week I ran into Matt as well.
Yeah? How’s he doing?
He’s doing well. We went out for a couple of beers and the funniest thing happened.
Oh yeah?
Well, we were talking and catching up on what we’ve been doing, talking about work and family, when all of a sudden, Matt saw a mouse run under his chair and he completely lost it! He started freaking out, and screaming...
Ha ha, really?
Yeah, and the funniest thing was, that he jumped on to his chair and started shrieking like a girl. You had to be there! Everyone was staring and laughing... it was hilarious! 
1960’s English
Hey man... I really like your pad. Those lava lamps are far out! Thanks for letting me crash here tonight.
It’s no problem, brother! I wanted a pad where people could come, listen to music and just hang loose, you dig what I’m saying?
I dig it man! We could throw a bash here and make it a really happening scene!
Yeah man, that would be groovy! Hey, I gotta split for a while, are you OK here by yourself?
Don’t worry about me brother... You go take care of business.
Alright, peace out. 
Weather Forecast
...And now, let’s go to Kenny Williams for today’s weather forecast.
Thank you Bill, and good morning Salt Lake City!
What’s the weather looking like today, Kenny?
Well, it’s a bit of a mixed bag in Utah today; we’ve got heavy cloud cover here in Northern Utah, and we’re calling for scattered showers throughout the day, with a day-time high of forty-five degrees. Now, if we move down to the south of the state, we can see that a cold front is moving in. We can expect clear skies, but it will be quite cold, with temperatures hovering around the thirty degree mark.
It’s a chilly day folks, so don’t forget your coats! What about tomorrow Kenny? Do you have good news for us?
Well, it’ll be a rainy day for Northern Utah; we can expect some isolated downpours in the morning. Winds will be coming in from the North East, with gusts reaching twenty-three miles per hour. Salt 
You heard it folks! It’s gonna be a cold one!
That’s right Bill. We will have more later on today on the six o’clock news. That’s the weather forecast for this morning. 
Flattering
Valerie! Hi! Wow how are you? It’s been such a long time!
Darlene! Indeed, it’s been a while! How have you been? Wow, you look amazing! I love what you’ve done with your hair!
Really? Thanks! I went to that hair salon that you told me about, but enough about me! Look at you! You haven’t aged a day since the last time I saw you! What is your secret!
Ha ha, come on! Well, I’ve been watching what I eat, and working out three times a week. By the way, I heard your son recently graduated!
Yes, my little Paul is finally a doctor. They grow up so fast you know.
He is such a handsome guy. He gets his looks from his mother of course!
Thank you! What about your daughter, Pamela? I heard she has passed the bar exam and married recently.
Oh yes. She had a beautiful wedding in Cozumel Mexico and we all attended.
Such a lovely girl. I hope my Paul is lucky enough to find a girl like that someday!
But of course! Well, it’s been great talking to you, but I have to get going.
Same here! We will catch up soon, maybe over coffee!
That would be great! Give me a call!
See you soon! Bye! Ugg... I can’t stand that woman or her obnoxious daughter. 
Movie Review
Welcome back movie lovers to another ”Premier Movie Review”. My name is Richard Clarke and I am joined today by the very erudite David Watson.
Thank you Dick. Today we are going to talk about the movie ”Lion King”. Tell me Dave, what is your impression of this film?
Well, I think this film is simply a fable, depicting man’s eternal greed for power, and in my opinion, it’s a very fine film. Even despite the accusations of plagiarism traditional folk tales from other countries. The musical score was amazing, the animation was very well done, and the story was simply enchanting.
I think otherwise. Even though the animation was technically strong, and as you say, the score and songs performed by Elton John were great, the film lacks a certain originality; it lacked heart. And I would dare to say, it was too predictable.
Predictable! How! Come on Dick, It’s a G-rated movie! It’s for the kids! It’s not a thriller!
Well, that’s just it. It did have some very dramatic and intense scenes. For example when Mufasa dies, or the dark, grim portrayal of Scar. Even so, the film is linear. Mufasa dies, Simba runs away thinking it’s his fault. Falls in love and returns to retake what is rightfully his. It’s just too cliché.
How can it be cliché? It’s a fable! It’s telling a time-honoured story! The movie make a point of how the hunger for power leads to corruption, and teaches children the value of respect, life and love.
You have always been so soft, Dave!
Open your heart Dick. Don’t shut us out.
Anyway... That’s all for today folks! Join us next time as we talk about 'How to lose a guy in 10 days'. I’m sure you’ll love that one Dave! 
Where are you from?
Where to, miss?
Hi! Crenshaw and Hawthorne, at the Holiday Inn that is on that corner.
Sure thing. So, where are you flying in from?
From China.
Really? You don’t look very Chinese to me, if you don’t mind me saying so.
It’s fine. I am actually from Mexico. I was in China on a business trip, visiting some local companies that manufacture bathroom products.
Wow sounds interesting! Excuse me if I am being a bit nosy but, how old are you?
Don’t you know it’s rude to ask a lady her age?
Don’t get me wrong! It’s just that you seem so young and already doing business overseas!
Well thank you! In that case, I am 26 years old, and what about yourself?
I am 40 years old and was born and raised here in the good old U.S of A, although I have some Colombian heritage.
Really? That’s great! Do you speak some Spanish?
Uh... yeah.. of course!
Que bien! Entonces podemos hablar en espanol! 
1970’s English
Hey man! How’s it hanging?
Hey man! Everything is just groovy baby!
Did you go to the roller rink on Saturday? I heard it was far out, man!
I wanted to, but I ran into this foxy lady that just moved to my block! I was chatting her up a bit and then we mellowed out at her place.
Right on, right on! Well, Jim went to the rink with Sherry and he said it was dy-no-mite! He was low on bread, but Sherry paid for everything.
Gravy! Jim is such a jive turkey man. He is always hitting me up for cash. Anyway, you wanna book and go grab some grub?
Yeah man, I’m starving! 
Global Warming
And therefore, global warming is the greatest deception of the early 21st century. Questions?
Uh& yeah. In the lecture you said theres more evidence in the scientific record supporting global cooling?
Well, yes, essentially, the historical record supports a theory of climate cycles. Warming and cooling are cooperating processes in the planetary eco-system.
If thats true and the planet is getting cooler, what explains the rapid melting of the polar ice caps and the dramatic rise in the global average temperatures?
But are global temperatures rising? If you look at the data from nineteen seventy-five you'll...
You'll be misled. If you were serious, you would look at the record starting in the 1880s. Then you would see how dramatically the earths temperature has changed.
Young lady, I beg to differ. Look, the point of the lecture was to emphasize that there is evidence for both sides, and I’m putting forth the argument that there’s greater evidence in support of the global cooling hypothesis. Look, it’s an indisputable fact that the public is being manipulated and scared into believing theres some kind of climate crisis; this scaremongering is done, quite simply, for political reasons.
But even without the uncomfortable reality that greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide contribute to global warming, isnt the topic appropriate for politicians to discuss?
Not if they want to use your tax dollars and mine to fund completely unnecessary initiatives.
Yeah, like conservation, protecting endangered species and investing in renewable energy. At the very least, you have to concede that this debate has the potential to end our dependence on foreign oil. Buying oil supports autocratic countries that use these revenues to devastating ends.
Why, I've never been so disrespected in all of my days. I’m a professor, a scientist and researcher of high regard.
Yeah, and a duplicitous one at that. Everyone knows youre in the pocket of the oil lobby. Why should we trust your so-called findings more than tobacco institute studies which say smoking doesnt harm health? You're full of it.
Some people just cannot handle civil debate! 
Baby, I’m Sorry
Can we talk?
Sure, honey, we’re talking now, aren’t we?
You know what I mean.
Yeah. I know.
I want to know where this relationship is going. I’m in love with you and I need to know...
You know, I think you’re awesome.
I’m awesome. Well, I guess that’s my answer, isn’t it.
Honey...
Look, if you don’t love me, it’s not a thing, alright, we’ve had our laughs, but I don’t appreciate... maybe it’s just time we...
Baby, I love you so much.
You do?
I love you. And I think you’re awesome.
Oh, I love you too!
Come on. Put the gun down.
Oh baby, I’m so sorry. 
Skiing
Welcome ski lovers of all ages! My name is Rick Fields and here with me is the man that needs no introduction, Bob Copeland.
Thank you, Rick! What a beautiful day here in Aspen, Colorado where the sun is shinning, and we’ve got twelve inches of fresh powder. It doesn’t get much better than this.
That’s right, Bob, but today we have a special treat for our viewers. We’re joined here by Ian Roussy, the four-time giant slalom champion. And on this special edition of the show, Ian is going to teach us the basics of skiing! So, let’s hit the slopes!
Bob, since you’re a beginner skier and might take a few spills, it is a good idea to have a good warm pair of dry ski gloves.
You wanna see gnarley? Well, see that bump over there, I’m going to catch some major air.
Ha ha ha! He lost his skis! Yard sale!!!
Ahem, well. Thanks for joining us here today, I think that about does it. Bob, Ian, time for some après-ski?
Job Well Done
And so, that concludes my outline for our marketing strategy next year. Thank you very much for your time.
Hey, that was quite the Presentation! Honestly, I was completely blown away by your strategy outline. I’ve gotta say, Alex, you really wowed me today.
Aw, come on; it was nothing. I'm just doing my job.
No, I think you deserve some recognition here; I mean, if I look back on your previous Presentations, this is a huge improvement.
Well, Kristin did give me a hand with the slides. Shes a real wiz on PowerPoint.
And I saw that you took on board my feedback about pricing strategies. I really appreciate you taking the time to think though my suggestions.
Yeah, well, that was some good advice. You made some really good points.
Well, I just wanted to say well done. Really you did a great job. 
Mobile Phone Plan
Yeah, I’ve just moved here, and I’d like to activate my cell phone, and I’m not sure if I should go with a prepaid plan, or a monthly rate plan.
I see. Well, can I have a look at your phone? Unfortunately, this phone can’t be used in the US; it’s not compatible with our 3G network.
What? Really? I don’t really want to have to buy a new phone.
Well, you’re in luck! You see, if you sign up for our three-year plan, we’ll throw in a handset for free.
Really? What’s the catch?
There’s no catch! You just choose a plan, sign a three-year contract and, that’s it! Actually, we’re running a special promotion right now, and we’re giving away a Blackberry Curve with our special Mega Value forty dollar plan.
So what does this plan include?
Well, you get nine hundred anytime minutes, and you can also enjoy free mobile to mobile calling to other Tel-Mobile clients, one thousand text messages per month, and unlimited evening and weekend minutes. Oh, and we also offer a rollover option.
Wow, all this for forty dollars per month?
That’s right, plus the activation fee, the emergancy services fee, the monthly service fee, oh, and any charges for extra minutes, and... 
Daily Life Complaining at a Restaurant
Excuse me, waiter? Waiter!
Yes, sir? What can I do for you?
I’ve been sitting here for the past twenty minutes and no one has offered me a glass of water, brought any bread to the table and our appetizers haven’t been served yet! You know, in this kind of establishment, I’d expect much better service.
I am sorry, sir. I’ll check on your order right away.
Here you are, sir. The foie gras for the lady, and a mushroom soup for you.
Waiter, I ordered a cream of mushroom soup with asparagus. This soup is obviously too runny, and it’s over-seasoned. It’s completely inedible!
Okay, I do apologize for that. Can I bring you another soup, or would you like to order something else?
Take this foie gras back as well, it’s rubbery and completely overcooked. And look at the portion size! How can you charge twenty-five dollars for a sliver of duck liver?
Right away... sir.
What do you mean? We are paying for this. If I’m shelling out my hard earned bucks, I expect value for money!
Here you are, sir. I hope it is alright now. The chef has prepared it specially for you.
Yes, fine.
Bad news, boss.
Now that we have been over the gory details of our disastrous first quarter, Ed! Give us some good news. How are things looking for us in terms of sales this month?
Uh well... Would you like the bad news first or the really bad news?
What? Ed, don’t tell me you only have bad news!
Well sir, our sales have dropped, no plunged, fifty percent in the past month alone. We are currently overstocked and overstaffed and our profits are falling fast. The market is in recession and we have no way of moving our inventory, or getting rid of our staff. If we consider redundancies, it would cost us a fortune because of the new regulations governing compensation packages. It’s a real mess.
For crying out loud... How fast are we losing money?
Um... How can I put this? Let’s just say that at this pace, we will be filing for Chapter eleven in less than three months.
What! Geez! How could this have happened? So what’s the bad news?
Oh, that’s the really bad news. Our supplier suffered QC problems and, well, half of our production is faulty. We’re going to have to recall all items sold in the last quarter. And the worst part? We’re going to have to shoulder this cost.
Are you joking? Get the supplier on the line now! They have to assume the costs of this mess!
We tried that, sir. The factory has gone under and the owner apparently has fled the country.
We’re doomed!
There is some really good news though!
Really? What!
I got offered a new job! 
Breaking Up
Honey, do you have a second?
Sure! Are you okay? You seem a bit worried. What’s on your mind?
We need to talk.
Okay...
I’ve been thinking, and well, I think we need to start seeing other people.
What? Why? I mean, we’ve had our ups and downs, and we have the occasional disagreement, but we’re happy together, aren’t we?
That’s just it, I’m not happy anymore, Tim. It’s not you, it’s me. I know that I can be hard to deal with, and you are a great guy! You are the type of guy that any woman would kill for!
So, what are you saying? You’re breaking up with me because I’m perfect?
Tim, you are too good for me. You deserve someone who can make you smile and make you happy the way that you made me happy. Oh, I could say that I’ll be all you need, but that would be a lie. I know I’d only hurt you, I know I’d only make you cry.
Baby, come on. Don’t do this to me! Whatever it is, we can work it out. Just give me another chance! I know that we can get through this, but we gotta stick together! Don’t leave me.
I can’t, Tim. I hope someday you can find some way to understand I’m only doing this for you. I don’t really wanna go but, deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do.
Laura...
Here are your keys. I’ll send my sister to pick up the rest of my things next week. I’m sorry, Tim. I wish you all the best, and I hope that one day we can meet again. I’ll always love you. Goodbye. 
Registering for University
Excuse me? Is this where I register? I’d like to sign up for my courses for next semester.
Yes, of course. I need your student ID please.
Here you are.
Okay, Susan. It says here that you are a business major and you are in your second year. Is this information correct?
Yes. I do want to take some additional credits this year to get a minor in psychology.
Sure. That’s not a problem. Do you have the list of courses you want to take this semester?
Yeah. Here’s my list. I’m not sure if the class schedule will allow me to take all of them though.
Yeah, that’s perfect. What about the subjects for your minor?
Oh yeah! Almost forgot! I need to take fundamental linguistics, consumer psychology and neuroanatomy.
Wow, you are going to be busy this semester! Okay, here you go. You are registered now; you’ll have to make your first tuition payment before classes start. 
Golf
Good morning golf aficionados! My name is Rick Fields, and you guessed it, I am here with my main man, Bob Copeland.
Thank you, Rick! As you can see, ladies and gentleman, we are here in beautiful Pebble Beach where the top golfers in the world are trying to win the grand prize of one million dollars!
Whoa, that’s a lot of cash! Let’s go to the course and see how Tiger Woods is doing.
All right, were’re here at the eighth hole. It’s a par four, and has some very difficult hazards which many golfers find difficult to avoid. Although, I did see Jack Nicklaus hit a hole in one on this very same hole!
Tiger Woods is about to tee off, and let’s see if he has the same luck as Jack. Tiger is asking his caddie for his driver and, he seems to be very nervous.
Oh no! Not a good swing at all! It’s definitely not his day today. On the seventh hole he got a bogey and before that he barely made par. He will definitely not get a birdie on this shot.
It seems that his ball has flown somewhere deep in the trees. He is having a hard time finding it and even his caddie has climbed a tree to try and spot it.
Oh no! A bear! Run, Tiger, run! Somebody call animal control! 
Dr. Plumber
Good afternoon! Did you call for a plumber?
Yes, yes I did. Please come in! I’m so glad you came! This old house is falling apart! Come on into the bathroom. See, here, there’s water leaking everywhere!
I see. Let me have a look. It seems that your toilet is clogged, and that’s why it won’t flush. Let me just get my plunger. No, that’s not working either. I suspect that there’s some sort of foreign object in the pipes that’s causing a blockage. That’s what’s making your toilet overflow.
Oh, that must be because of my four-year-old daughter. She is always flushing things down the toilet. You know how kids are.
Yeah, I have a little one myself. Anyway, these water pipes are really rusty, so they also should be changed. That could be causing water to not drain completely; that might lead to more problems in the future. I would also suggest fixing this faucet that isn’t shutting off properly. I could have it all finished by today if it’s urgent.
That would be great! Is it expensive?
Let’s see... I would say about eight hundred dollars.
What? That’s more than I make in a day and I’m a heart surgeon! 
Sorry I’m Late
Where is everyone? We were supposed to start fifteen minutes ago!
Jo called and said she’d be here in a sec. She said she got tied up with a client.
Scott just called and said that he’s running late. His last meeting ran over, but he’s on his way now.
Guys, this is not acceptable. If I say the meeting starts at ten, the meeting starts at ten. Not tenoh-one! And definitely not ten-twenty! All right. Let’s get started. So the first thing I want to talk about is our...
1980’s English
Jim! What’s up man!
Charlie! Is that your ride? It’s butt ugly, dude!
Don’t be a airhead! This is a nineteen sixty-nine Chevy Impala! I just need to fix it up a bit. In a couple of months, this baby is gonna be wicked!
Not even! Check it out! Now that’s a fresh ride!
Too bad the driver is a major dweeb. Anyone can have a car like that if their daddy is loaded like his.
He’s coming this way, be cool.
Word! The ladies are gonna be lining up to get with you when they see you driving around in that car.
For sure!
Psych! haha.. you totally fell for it.
Dude, don’t have a cow! 
I Don’t Feel So Good
Are you okay, man? You don’t look very well.
Ugh, I feel terrible. I went out last night with Trevor and things got a little out of hand.
Nice! So, where did you guys go?
We hit a couple of local bars, and met up with some friends. Everything was cool until Mike came along, and it turned out that it was his birthday yesterday!
Oh no! Mike’s birthday is a drinkfest for sure!
Tell me about it! We drank everything in the bar!
Is that why you missed work today?
Yeah. I woke up this morning feeling really nauseous. I threw up like five times.
Eww!
I was so dehydrated that I drank like a gallon of water, and my head has been pounding all day. I swear, I’m never gonna drink again!
Too bad man, tonight is Tracy’s going away party and she asked if you were gonna go.
Oh, yeah. I’m there! 
You Missed The Deadline!
And so, I just wanted to check in with you and find out where we are with this project. As you know, you’ve missed a fairly significant deadline last week, and this will negativity impact the team’s ability to move forward with the next stages of this project.
I know, I’m really sorry that I missed the deadline. But really, it wasn’t my fault. You see, we had all of these unexpected technical problems at the last minute, and that I couldn’t get into the database and extract the kind of information that I needed for the data analyis. You know, if the tech guys would have done their job and kept the CRM stable, then I wouldn’t have missed my deadline.
Oh, come on! An excuse like that is tantamount to lying. You’re essentially blaming the tech team for your time management issues, rather than accepting responsibility for the fact that you were procrastinating for the past two weeks.
No, I’m not trying to pass the buck here; I know that it was me who is ultimately responsible for getting this done. But the thing is, I could have finished on time if the system hadn’t gone down. And you know, with everything I’ve got going on now, I can’t afford to waste time dealing with technical problems. I’ve got a lot on my plate and there are only twenty-four hours in a day...
I’m not going to accept this excuse. You’re using these small technical glitches as a crutch and trying to rationalize the fact that you’ve missed your deadline. Look, we have standards and I expect you to live up to those standards. No more phoney excuses. If you’re in over your head, you tell me. No more missed deadlines. Now, I want that data on my desk by nine am! 
I’m Sorry I Love You IX
Baby Talk
Honey, the baby is up again.
It’s your turn! I went last night.
Fine! Hello widdle baby! Why are you crying widdle baby? Oh, I see, you made a doo-doo!
What’s going on hun? Why is the baby crying?
The widdle baby made a doo-doo!
What a good boy! Lets get this icky diaper off you.
Looky what I have here! Mickey Mouse jammies! oopsie-daisy! Did the widdle baby just tinkle all over daddy?
Yes he did! Yes he did! You just made a wee wee all over daddy!
Hold still while I change this yucky diaper.
Oh look it’s nana! Say hi to nana!
Ok, say bye to nana! Time to go beddy - bye! 
Being Scared
Boxing
Welcome back, boxing fans! My name is Rick Fields, and here with me is the man with an iron jaw, Bob Copeland.
Thank you, Rick! We are coming to you live from Las Vegas! We’re in the beautiful MGM Grand Hotel and Casino where the world heavyweight championship is about to get under way!
That’s right Bob! We are about to witness the legendary Italian Stallion himself, Rocky Balboa, square off against his lifetime rival, Apollo Creed! This will be a gruesome match for sure.
Both fighters are in the ring, and we are about to begin.
There is the bell and this fight is underway! Apollo quickly attacks Rocky with quick strong jabs! Rocky dodges successfully and counterattacks with a strong right hook!
Apollo is cut! Rocky landed a strong blow to his right eyebrow and cut him!
This is his chance! Rocky quickly throws a left, right, another left! Apollo is getting pounded!
Apollo recovers with a powerful haymaker and catches Rocky off guard! He’s down! the ref starts the count!
Presidential Speech
Good evening, my fellow Americans. Three days from now, after a half-century of service of our country, I shall lay down the responsibilities of office as, in a traditional and solemn ceremony, the authority of the Presidency is vested in my successor. This evening I come to you with a message of leave-taking and farewell, and to share a few final thoughts with you, my countrymen.
Like every other citizen, I wish the new President, and all who will labor with him, Godspeed. I pray that the coming years will be blessed with peace and prosperity for all.
Our people expect their President and the Congress to find essential agreement on questions of great importance, the wise resolution of which will better shape the future of our great nation. My own relations with Congress began on a remote and tenuous basis when, long ago, a member of the Senate appointed me to West Point. I then had the pleasure of building more intimate relationship with Congress during the war and immediate post-war period. Finally, we have progressed to the mutually interdependent relationship we’ve had during these past eight years. 
Supermarket Cashier
Excuse me sir, this is the express check-out lane for people that have fifteen items or fewer. It looks like you have more than fifteen items there.
Oh, come on! I have sixteen items! Cut me some slack, will ya?
Fine! Please place your items on the belt and push your shopping cart through. Do you prefer paper or plastic?
Plastic. I also have a couple of coupons.
No problem, I’ll take those. Sir, these coupons expired yesterday.
Darn! Oh, well. I guess it’s just not my day. Thanks anyway.
Do you have a club card or will it be cash?
Yeah I got a club card. Here you go.
Will this be debit or credit?
Debit please. Also, could I get cash back? Fifty dollars would be great.
Yeah, sure. Your total is seventy-eight dollars and thirty-three cents. Here is your receipt. Have a nice day. 
1990’s English
Hey four-eyes! What’s up man, how have you been?
Not bad, just went to the mall and picked up some junk. Check out my new Adidas!
Those are dope! You are gonna be getting mad props from the gang, man. Anyways, have you seen Betty lately?
Dude, don’t even go there. That girl started trippin’ cuz I went to the movies with Veronica the other day. I was like ”look, you knew how I was before you got with me”.
That’s right! Your such a playa, man. Dude, there’s Mad Max. Let’s go say hi.
Max! Whassup! Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.
Dude, get over it! You need to lay off the books for a while and have some fun! Come on, let’s bounce.
I’m gonna open a can of whopass on you if you don’t come with me now!
Tools
Alright, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve been hired to build a deck on this here house, and turn this boring and drab lawn into a backyard oasis. There is one catch, though. We’ve only got one day to finish this, so I’m gonna need everyone to give one hundred and ten percent today. It’s going to be tough, but we’ve got a great team here, and I know that together we can tackle this project. That being said, let’s get to work!
That’s right. Now, remember, we’ve been over the plans, but we really need to make sure that everything is up to code. The home inspectors here are pretty thorough, so please make sure you follow the plans exactly. And remember the carpenter’s rule of thumb: measure twice and cut once.
Okay, guys. Let’s get at it. Bob! Pass me that hammer! The nails won’t go in; the wood is too hard. I think I’m gonna need the nail gun. That did it!
I think you should sand the edges. Look at all these splinters, someone could get hurt. Geez...you gotta take pride in your work!
Julia! Get over here with the level, measuring tape and that box of screws!
No Smoking!
It smells like an ashtray in here!
Hi honey! What’s wrong? Why do you have that look on your face?
What’s wrong? I thought we agreed that you were gonna quit smoking.
No! I said I was going to cut down which is very different. You can’t just expect me to go cold turkey overnight!
Look, there are other ways to quit. You can try the nicotine patch, or nicotine chewing gum. We spend a fortune on cigarettes every month and now laws are cracking down and not allowing smoking in any public place. It’s not like you can just light up like before.
I know, I know. I am really trying but, I don’t have the willpower to just quit. I can’t fight with the urge to reach for my pack of smokes in the morning with coffee or after lunch! Please understand?
Fine! I want a divorce! 
That’s Funny!
Thank you, everyone! Well, what a lovely crowd. You know, there’s nothing I love better than standup comedy! You know, I’ve been working on my routine for months now, and I’ve got some real zingers for you tonight. Let’s start out with some short jokes, how bout that? Where do you find a one legged dog? Where you left it.
Get it? mmm Anyways... What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud !
Tough crowd... Alright, now you’re going to love this joke. It’s hilarious! What do cows do for entertainment? They rent moooovies ! moooovies
Okay, Okay, we’ve got a few hecklers in the audience, but this one is good! What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? DAM!
Okay, Last one! Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Coz they got big fingers!!!!
Thanks everyone that was my time. 
I Love That Song!
I’m Sorry I Love You X
Presidential Speech II
We now stand ten years past the midpoint of a century that has witnessed four major wars among great nations. Three of these involved our own country. Despite the carnage of these conflicts, America is today the strongest, the most influential and most productive nation in the world. We are understandably proud of this preeminence, yet we realize that America’s leadership and prestige depend, not merely upon our unmatched material progress, riches and military strength, but on how we use our power in the interests of world peace and human betterment.
Throughout America’s adventure in free government, such basic purposes have been to keep the peace; to foster progress in human achievement, and to enhance liberty, dignity and integrity among peoples and among nations.
We pray that peoples of all faiths, all races, all 
Now, on Friday noon, I am to become a private citizen. I am proud to do so. I look forward to it. Thank you, and good night. 
Going To The Gym
Hey there, you look a little lost. Are you new here?
Yeah how’d you know?
You can always spot the newbies. I can give you a few pointers if you want. Were you trying to use this machine here?
Yeah! I just started my training today and I’m not really sure where to begin.
It’s ok, I know how it is. This machine here will work out your upper body, mainly your triceps and biceps. Are you looking to develop strength or muscle tone and definition?
Well, I don’t want to be ripped like you! I just want a good physique with weights and cardio.
In that case you want to work with less weight. You can start off by working ten to fifteen reps in four sets. Five kilo weights should be enough. Now it’s very important that you stretch before pumping iron or you might pull a muscle.
Got it! Wow is that the weight you are lifting? My goodness that’s a lot of weight!
It’s not that much. Just watch... I’m ok... 
What if? Part 1
Okay, next question. If Eric asked you out on a date, what would you say?
Duh! I would say yes! Eric is the most popular kid in school! Okay, my turn. What would you do if you won the lottery?
Let’s see.... If I won the lottery, I would buy two tickets for a trip around the world.
If you buy me a ticket I will go with you for sure!
My dad will freak out if I even mention a trip like that!
Alright this is a good one. What would your mom say if you told her you are going to get married?
If I told her that, she would faint and have me committed! 
Mechanic
Howdy! Nice car! What seems to be the problem?
I don’t know! This stupid old car started spewing white smoke and it just died on me. Luckily, I managed to start it up and drive it here. What do you think it is?
Not sure yet. How about you pop the hood and we can take a look. Hmmm, it doesn’t look good.
What do you mean? My daddy gave me this car for my birthday last month. It’s brand new!
Well missy, the white smoke that you saw is steam from the radiator. You overheated your engine so now the pistons are busted and so is your transmission. You should have called us and we could have towed you over here when your car died.
Ugh... So how long is this going to take? An hour?
I’m afraid a bit more than that. We need to order the spare parts, take apart your electrical system, fuel pump and engine and then put it back together again. You are going to have to leave it here for at least two weeks.
What! How am I supposed to get to school or go shopping? This is not happening! 
Doing Laundry
Ok, let’s go through this one more time. I don’t want anymore ruined or dyed blouses!
I know, I know. OK, so I have to separate the colors from the whites and put them in this strange looking contraption so called washing machine.
Right. You have to turn it on and program it depending on what type of clothes you are washing. For example for delicates, you should set a shorter washing cycle. Also, be sure to use fabric softener and this detergent when washing.
So complicated! Ok, what about this red wine stain? How do I get it out?
Since this is a white t-shirt, you can just pour a 
Cool. Then I can just throw everything in the dryer for an hour and its all set right?
No! Since you are washing delicates and cotton, you should set the dryer to medium heat and for twenty minutes.
You know what? I’ll just have everything dry cleaned. 
Buying a TV
Seriously, I don’t know why we need to get a new TV.
Honey I told you already. I can’t appreciate the graphics level and detail of the games on my Playstation 3 on our old TV.
I’m looking to upgrade to a newer, bigger television set.
Just a normal sized TV for our living room.
This is exactly what I need! Can you imagine watching movies or playing video games on this thing?
Honey, I think it’s a bit too big. I don’t even think it will fit in our living room.
This is great! How much will this set me back?
I’ll take it! 
Cheer Up
Ok... I’ll talk to you later. Bye
Carrie, are you ok? You seem a bit down.
I just got off the phone with my boyfriend. He is always getting upset and losing his temper over nothing. It’s so hard to talk to him at times.
Maybe it’s just that he is stressed out from work or something. He does have a pretty nerve wracking job you know.
Yeah but, he is always in a really foul mood. I try to find out what’s bothering him or get him to talk about his day but, he always shuts down and brushes me off.
Men are like that you know. They can feel nervous, anxious or on edge and the only way they can express it is by trying to hide it through aggressiveness.
I guess you are right. What do you think I should do? He wasn’t always this grouchy you know...
Talk to him, try to cheer him up when he is down and if that doesn’t work, I say get rid of him and get a new one!
You are something else you know that? 
Gambling
Did you hear? The state is thinking of legalizing gambling in our city! Soon we are gonna have amazing hotels and casinos here which will be good for our business!
Are you serious? Gambling is a vice industry built on deception and fed by the intentional exploitation of human weakness for the sole purpose of monetary gain! It disgusts me.
What are you talking about? How does it exploit people?
Well, to begin with, Gambling is addictive, it ruins marriages, destroys families and bankrupts communities. Once you are addicted it is very difficult to stop. People have lost their houses, cars and been left out on the street after becoming addicted. Secondly, it exploits because men become addicted to gambling most often because of the action and risk. Women gamble to escape, and senior citizens will start gambling for the social interaction. Underage gamblers often start gambling on sports with friends and then illegal bookies.
Geez! Now that I think about it, maybe legalizing gambling isn’t such a good idea! Although, I have been to Las Vegas, and I didn’t become addicted or anything like that.
You cannot predict who will become addicted to gambling. Now excuse me, I have a protest rally to organize!  
Getting Internet Service
Welcome to Galanet. How can I help you?
Hi. I would like to get an internet plan for my house.
Of course. We have three different plans with different prices you can choose from. The first one is the cheapest but most basic plan which is thirty dollars a month. This is for broadband internet with a download speed of five hundred and twelve kbps.
I have no idea what kbps means. I just want to be able to get online, play games and chat with my friends. Oh, and watch movies online as well.
Well, this connection might be a bit too slow for your needs. I suggest you get the premium package for fifty dollars a month which includes a connection speed of two megabytes. That way you can play games online without any lag. This package also includes a wireless router and a personal firewall absolutely free!
Do I have to pay an installation fee?
Lucky for you, this month we aren’t charging our normal installation fee. You are saving yourself 100 bucks right there! And we’ll throw in this pen drive!
Awesome! 
Renting A Car
Playing Chess
Buying a Computer
What If? Part 2 
This is the good life! We have it good don’t you think?
Yeah of course! Although, don’t you ever wonder what ”could have been”?
What do you mean?
Well, sometimes I think of how things could have turned out if I had done things a little differently.
For example?
Like for example, if I hadn’t studied architecture, I would have become an artist like I wanted to.
I see. Yeah now that I think of it, I wouldn’t have gotten married if I hadn’t moved to this town and met Sally.
You see! Everything happens for a reason! We wouldn’t even have met if I hadn’t been in that car accident ten years ago!
Well, I have no regrets!
I’ll drink to that! 
What Do I Wear? 
Honey come on! We are going to be late! Honestly, you take longer getting ready than I do!
I was drying my hair and ironing my shirt! Can you come here for a sec? I need your help.
What is it? Why are all these clothes on the bed?
I don’t know what to wear! Ok, give me your opinion. Do you like the way this looks? The striped short sleeved shirt with this checkered sweater and my lucky sandals. I like the cut and hemline of these shorts so I think I’ll wear these as well.
Are you joking? What am I going to do with you? We are going to a dinner party not the beach! Wear the shirt with the silk tie I bought you and these corduroy pants. It’s chilly outside so you can wear this coat.
Thanks honey! You have such great fashion sense. Now, what am I going to do with my hair? 
The Butcher 
Capital Punishment 
Do you think we should be tougher on crime?
Well, it depends on what you mean.
For example, we could bring back the death penalty for murder, give longer prison sentences for lesser offences and lock up juvenile offenders.
Those really sound like Draconian measures. Firstly, what do you do about miscarriages of justice if you’ve already put innocent people to death?
You’d only use capital punishment if you were absolutely sure that you’d convicted the right person.
But, there’ve been many cases of wrongful conviction where people have been imprisoned for many years. The authorities were sure at the time, but later it was shown that the evidence was unreliable. In some cases, it’d been fabricated by the police.
Well, no system of justice can be perfect, but surely there’s a good case for longer prison sentences to deter serious crime.
I doubt whether they could act as an effective deterrent while the detection rate is so low. The best way to prevent crime is to convince people who commit it that they’re going to be caught. It doesn’t make sense to divert all your resources into the prison system.
But if you detect more crimes, you’ll still need prisons. In my reckoning, if we could lock up more juvenile criminals, they’d learn that they couldn’t get away with it. Soft sentences will merely encourage them to do it again.
Yes, but remember that prisons are often schools for criminals. To remove crime from society, you really have to tackle its causes.
Well, if I were president, I would impose tougher laws and punishment. I would have a peaceful society based on fear of punishment, not consciousness of doing the right thing.
You sound like a dictator!
Well if it works, why not? 
Chicken Pox 
What’s wrong with you? Why are you scratching so much?
I feel itchy! I can’t stand it anymore! I think I may be coming down with something. I feel lightheaded and weak.
Let me have a look. Whoa! Get away from me!
What’s wrong?
I think you have chicken pox! You are contagious! Get away! Don’t breathe on me!
Maybe it’s just a rash or an allergy! We can’t be sure until I see a doctor.
Well in the meantime you are a biohazard! I didn’t get it when I was a kid and I’ve heard that you can even die if you get it as an adult!
Are you serious? You always blow things out of proportion. In any case, I think I’ll go take an oatmeal bath.
Ewww! 
Animal Rights 
You should have seen the T.V. show that was on last night, the topic it covered was really interesting; animal rights.
Do you really believe in that? If they are going to focus on something, they should do it on civil rights.
Yes, but we can't deny that animals are vulnerable, defenseless, and are completely at the mercy of human beings.
I understand your point, but we continue to have transgressions against human rights. If so much attention weren’t devoted to the topic of animals, we would then concentrate more on saving a human being instead of protecting a koala.
You can’t compare apples and oranges; I believe that both topics are important and that we can’t ignore them, the mistreatment of animals can cause a great environmental imbalance. I believe that governments should prohibit activities like poaching.
Well, you are right on that point. This is the reason that I don’t buy leather and I try to buy synthetic products.
At least youre doing your part. My contribution is to have a pet in the house that I treat like a member of the family.
As long as you dont treat it better than your wife, it's fine. 
The Argument 
Wow, that terrible movie is finally over. Next time I’m picking the film, because I don’t want to end up seeing a chick flick.
Well you should have picked, in the end you always complain about everything.
Not everything, just this film. Even the title is ridiculous; and it’s so long, those are the two and a half most wasted hours of my life, so much so that I’m thinking about asking them to give me my money back.
I’m thinking of taking you back home. I thought we could have a nice evening, but you’re always so negative.
I’m only complaining about a movie that I could have rented or bought and then thrown in the garbage.
You see, that’s what I’m talking about, I can’t stand your sarcastic jokes anymore.
Next time, go with your gay friend who is more in touch with his feelings.
Well he’s more of a man than you are; at least he appreciates love stories.
Love stories? More like one-night-stands.
Don’t criticize Mario, or else I’ll start on those fat, drunk friends of yours; they’re no saints.
My friends? Fat? What about those whales you call friends?
You’re unbearable; you can walk home, I’m leaving. 
Bye!
Paranoid 
Dan, Dan dude. You have to come over to my house right now!
Is everything Ok?
Just get over here!
Come in! Quickly!
So, since when is your house a bank?
What do you mean?
I mean, what’s up with the four locks and iron bars on your windows.
Security Dan, security! You can never be too safe you know! A lot of sickos out there. Just the other day they caught that peeping tom red handed! Had a high power telescope and binoculars by his window.
Whats the matter with you? Why are you acting all paranoid?
Paranoid? I’m not paranoid! I’m cautious! You see Dan, we have to be on guard at all time! People just invade your privacy as if they knew you! Telemarketers, solicitors, even your bank! They have way too much information! I like to keep everything on a need to know basis.
OK, well, what did you want to see me about?
You are being watched! Be careful Dan! Be careful! 
Moving 
Ok, that’s fine. Bye.
What happened?
That’s it, my lease is up. I have to move.
What? Why? Can’t you renew it?
The owner apparently is selling this place to make way for the construction of a parking lot.
Well, I can help you pack. We should start looking for a new place for you ASAP.
I think I might move in with my parents for a couple of months until I can find something. You know how hard it is to find a decent place around here. I’m gonna have to put most of my stuff in storage for a while.
Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help out.
Actually, would you mind looking after my pet tarantula and snake for a couple of weeks?
hehe.. Sure 
Bug Spray 
The mosquitos are biting me!
Me too, I can’t stop scratching. They are everywhere! Sneaky little jerks.
Do you have any bug spray?
No, I forgot to buy some.
Then we’ll have to put up with it.
We can cover ourselves with beer! That way if they bite us, they’ll get drunk and fall asleep
That’s without a doubt, the best idea you've had! Lets do it!
Run! They are thirsty for more! 
Darwin’s Theory Of Evolution 
Man, it’s been forever. Where have you been up to lately?
I've been busy preparing for my exams. Not to mention all the term papers I've had to write.
Same here. I’m up to my neck in work, but at least you got summer holidays after finals. Where are you headed now?
I’m going to my Anthro(pology) class. We've been focusing on Darwin all term since it's the 200th anniversary of his birth or whatever. I'm sick and tired of Darwin, Darwin, Darwin!
What? Why? How can you not like Darwin? His work is turned thousands of years of ideas about creation on their head. The theory of evolution revolutionize the field of biology and anthropology!
I don’t like him. His theory of human evolution and natural selection is full of holes. It's not as solid as you make it out to be.
Say that again and you'll make enemies of half of the academy, not to mention your professors. Furthermore, the explaination proposed by Darwin about the origin of the species and the process of natural selection constitutes a grand step towards coherent understanding of the world and it's very beginnings.
I'm not minimizing his huge contributions to science. It's just that his theory reminds me of the conundrum of the Chicken and the Egg.
What are you talking about?
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a classic logical problem and I think it applies to Darwin's theory. How did the very first living organism come to be?
Interesting. I think that question is better suited for my philosophy class. In the meantime, how about we settle this... with a due! 
Cut It Out 
Homesick 
Rock Band 
I’m forming a music band.
Do you already know how to play an instrument?
Uh... Yeah! I’ve told you a thousand times that I’m learning to play the drums. Now that I know how to play well, I would like to form a rock band.
Aside from yourself, who are the other members of the band?
We have a guy who plays guitar, and another who plays bass. Although we still haven’t found anyone to be our singer. You told me that you had some musical talent, right?
Yes, I’m a singer.
Perfect. So you can audition this weekend here at my house.
Great! Wait here? You don’t have enough room for the amplifiers, microphones or even your drums! By the way where do you keep them or practice?
Dude? What are you talking about? It’s right here! All we need is my Nintendo Wii and we are set! 
Bachelor Party 
Hi honey! You’ll never guess what! My friends Julie and Alex are getting married!
Wow that’s great news! They’re a great couple!
I know! Anyways I just talked to Alex’s best man and he is organizing the bachelor party. It’s gonna be gonna be so much fun! All the groomsmen are thinking up all the wacky and crazythings we are going to do that night.
You aren’t going to a strip club are you? I don’t want you getting a lap dance from some stripper with the excuse that it’s your friends party.
Aw come on! It’s just some innocent fun! You know how these things are! We are gonna play drinking games, get him some gag gifts and just have a good time. Nothing too over the top.
Well, I don’t know.
Come on! If one of your friends was getting married, I wouldn’t mind you going to her bachelorette party!
Good, because my friend Wendy is getting married and I’m organizing her party!
What! 
Scary Story 
Oh no! The lights went out! Honey can you light a candle?
Sure. What do we do now?
Well, we can just talk, you know, like we used to. Hmm... I know! I'll tell you a scary story! It happened to me and my dad when I was a teenager... (fade out - fade in new scene) I was living with my father at the time, when he received a phone call.
So we arrived at this old house on the outskirts of our town. There was almost no one around and the house had an eerie look to it. Once inside the house, we walked to her room and I was surprised to find my dad’s great aunt in a wheelchair, yelling at someone, but we were alone in the room.
That night, we slept in one of the 12 rooms of that big old mansion. The trees outside seemed to come alive and their shadows formed ghoulish shapes on my bed. All of a sudden, we heard screaming.
And as we approached her, she was lying on the floor, with her hands and feet open like the Vitruvian Man, breathing heavily with bloody marks and scratches on her arms, legs and face. Remember how I mentioned that she was in a wheel chair? My aunt had been paralyzed from the neck down for just over a year. After this incident, strange things would happen in the house and my aunt would yell and scream, according to her, warding off the evil that had come to get her. As the days passed, she became very weak and eventually was unable to talk. My dad had to work during the day, so I was left to care for her. When she lost her voice and laid on her death bed, I would hear her breathe, in and out.
Until finally one day, she breathed in... and never exhaled. That night, I felt relieved that it was finally over, but it wasn’t.
I was so terrified of what I was hearing, that I didn’t sleep all night. The following morning, I went to the bathroom, expecting to find a mess and everything torn up, but I found everything exactly as it was before. The movers came that same day and as we were cleaning out her drawers and personal items, we found strange notebooks with names and amounts of money written next to them. We found pictures with people’s faces sewn with black or red string. And you want to know what the strangest thing was? There was a small doll, filled with dead ants, with a strand of hair tied around it’s waist, and on the doll’s face, there was a picture of me with the numbers: ”311009”. You know what date it is today? October 31st, 2009.... 
Trick Or Treat 
Trick-or-treat.
Tom, aren’t you a littletoo old to be trick-or-treating?
What are you talking about? Where is your Halloween spirit? Didn’t you ever dress up in a costume and go around the neighborhood trick-or treating with your friends?
Of course I did, but when I was ten! Trick–or-treating is for kids, plus, I ’m sure people will think you’re a kidnapper or something, running around with kids NCP at night.
Whatever, I’m going next door, I heard Mrs. Robinson is giving out big bags of M&Ms! 
All Saints Day 
Your neighbor is crazy. Why is he screaming that?
Because today is the first of November - the Day of the Dead.
Oh, that’s right.
This is a very special day among many cultures around the world especially in Latin America.
Seriously? I thought it was just like any other day, except for the fact that people visit the cemetery and remember their loved ones.
Well, that’s just part of it People across the world celebrate in different ways. In Mexcio for example it’s Common to see people building private altars honoring the deceased using sugar skulls, preparing the favorite foods and beverages of the departed and visiting graves with these as gifts. In the Philippines, the tombs are cleaned or repainted, candles are lit and flowers are offered. Entire families camp out in cemeteries and sometimes spend a night or two near their relatives’ tombs!
Whoa! That’s scary! I don’t know if I could do that!
Why? We should fear the living, not the dead. 
Getting Flowers 
Hello sir, how may I help you?
I would like to buy some flowers, please. Something really nice.
I see, may I ask whatthe occasion is?
It’s not really an occasion, it’s more like I’m sorry.
Very well. This arrangement here is very popular among regretful husbands and boyfriends. It has a dozenlong stem red roses with a couple of sunflowers and a single orchid that stands out. It includes a small teddy bear to achievethe effect of immediate forgiveness.
I think I’m gonna need more than just a dozen red roses and a bear. What else do you recommend?
Mmm, well this is our ”I’m sorry I cheated on you” package. Two dozen red roses lined with tulips, carnati ons and lilies. The fragrance and beauty of this flower arrangement is sure to make her forgive you.
I don’t think that’s gonna cut it. I need something bigger and better!
I’m sorry sir but, what exactly did you do?
Well, I may have accidentally insinuated that she is getting chubbier.
Get out of my store you jerk! 
Health Insurance 
Hey honey, how was your day?
It was alright. I ran into Bill and we got to talking for a while. He’s in a bit of a jam.
Why? What happened?
Well, his son had an accident and Bill doesn’t have health insurance. This really got me thinking, and I wondered if we shouldn’t look into a couple of different HMO’s.
Yeah, you’re right. We aren’t getting any younger and our kids are getting older.
Exactly! I searched on the web and found a couple of HMO’s with low co pays and good coverage. The deductibles are low, too.
Sounds good, although, do you think we can qualify for insurance? Those insurance companies are real pirates when it comes to money.
Well, we don’t have any pre-existing illnesses or conditions, so we should be fine.
I wish our company or country provided us with healthcare.
Not in a million years! 
Computer Games 
Mark, Where have you been? I’ve been calling you all morning.
I’ve been playing computer games.
What? So you blew me off yesterday and today over a stupid video game? What game is so important that you have no time for me anymore? What are you playing?
It’s called Counter Strike. It’s a first person shooter game. It’s awesome. It’s a multi player game where you can go online and compete against players from all over the world.
You’ve been wasting your time on this? I can’t believe it! It doesn’t even look fun or challenging!
My laptop is on my bed. If you think it’s so easy then get online and try to beat me.
Fine!
Damm it! How are you killing me with a single shot? It’s not fair! I don’t want to play anymore! Let’s go get something to eat.
Can you bring me something? I am totally hooked on this game! 
Veteran’s Day 
Do you have any plans for Veteran’s Day
You mean Armistice Day?
What are you talking about? November eleventh is veterans day. What planet are you from?
Well, as you know, on November 11th allies signed a peace treaty with the Germans, also known as the Armistice Treaty. This marked the end of WWI and many countries around the world commemorate this date under names such as Remembrance day. In Poland it’s their independence day! There’s a lot going on around the world on this day.
Wow, I didn’t know! Probably because I flunked history in school. 
Social Security 
Well that was an interesting documentary!
For sure! I didn’t really understand some of the technical jargon they used in the film when they talked about social security in the US.
Like what?
Well, they mentioned how people put away money in something called a 401K?
Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but a 401k is a type of retirement plan that allows employees to save and invest for their own retirement. Through a 401K you can authorize your employer to deduct a certain amount of money from your paycheck and invest it in the plan Everyone tries to contribute as much as possible so that when you retire, you can rest peacefully on your nest egg.
That’s interesting and logical I guess. In my country, we also have to contribute to a government run retirement fund, but most people don’t really trust it so they just invest in properties or things like that.
That seems a bit unstable, don’t you think?
Yeah, but corrupt governments in the past have created distrust among banks and financial institutions, so now people prefer to have money hidden in a jar or a piggy bank.
I’ve been thinking of doing that lately! I don’t want some banker to run off with my money! 
Apology Letter 
Dear Mary, I come here today, in this way, because I need to apologize to you. I failed you. Although I did not lie to you in words, I lied to you with faces that did not belong to me. I never meant to ruin the friendship that meant the world to me. You mean the world to me and now I come to you asking for forgiveness. If in your heart you find you can’t, then I will understand and learn from this experience.
You came into my life at a time when I needed you the most. We talked about so many things that I started to realize my heart and my soul could actually feel something other than hurt. You placed comfort where there was fear, confidence where there was doubt, a shoulder where tears could fall and completeness where there was emptiness. I wanted to hold onto to this so badly that I did whatever it took for you to notice. What I didn’t realize was that I could lose my entire being, all of who I was and all that I had placed in you.
I wanted to be the one who would be there when you needed to talk. I wanted to be the comfort for your soul when the world was too much to handle. I wanted to be strong for you when everything else seemed impossible. I wanted to love you in only the way you deserved to be loved, never realizing that I was destroying myself and you. Somehow I needed you to be a part of my life. The only problem was that I was willing to jeopardize everything to get that done.
All the things that I told you about how I felt and how you make me feel were true. Nothing else mattered to me except hearing the laughter in your voice when you were happy. You made my days easy to get through and my nights peaceful; you helped me look forward to another day. Even though distance separated us, just being was enough.
I’m sorry for hurting you and if I had to do all over again I would have been 100% with you. Forgive me please, 
Asking For A Loan 
Hello Sir may I help you?
Yes. I would like some information for requesting a loan.
Very well, here are the general terms of our loan policies. We pride ourselves in having the lowest interest rate in the country for personal loans.
I see. So let me get this straight. If I borrow let’s say, ten thousand dollars, how much will I have to pay each month?
It depends on how long you take to pay it back. If we lend you ten thousand dollars at an annual interest rate of ten percent for forty eight months, you would have to pay each month a portion of the loan which is called the principal and another small portion of the annual interest rate. This of course is considering that you don’t default on a payment!
It sounds good but, there is just one problem. I have a terrible credit score.
That is a very serious problem you see, the bank must assess your personal information, past loans, assets and any other relevant information such as your credit score in order to approve your loan.
You know what? I don’t really need the money. Thanks anyways! 
Dr. Botox 
What are you doing?
Look at me. I look so old! I look as if I were thirty.
Come on! Stop being so vain. You look great! You are beautiful!
Yes, I am, but I think it’s time for some plastic surgery. I’m tired of these wrinkles and sagging skin. See?
I don’t see any wrinkles or sagging skin! You are 25, stop beings ridiculous. Besides, I think that people who get Botox, have facelifts, or tummy tucks look weird. It doesn’t look natural.
Whatever, I think I’m gonna get liposuction and a nose job and some breast implants as well.
I think you need to get brain surgery. I honestly don’t think you need cosmetic surgery. You look amazing.
I thought you were my friend and would support me on this! I just want to feel better about myself and feel more attractive.
You don’t need plastic surgery to do that. You are fine the way you are and you have guys drooling all over you! Plus, plastic surgery hurts!
Really?
Yeah! When I got my nose job I was black and blue for a week! 
Learning How To Drive 
Ok! I’m ready for my driving lesson! Should I start the car?
Hold on there Fittipaldi, first let’s go over things one more time. Now before you even think of starting the car, make sure your seat is at a comfortable position and you can grip the steering wheel firmly. Next check your rear view mirrors to make sure you can see properly.
We have been through this a million times! Let’s get going already! I’m ready!
Fine start the car. OK, now gently step on the clutch and shift to 1st gear. Good, now accelerate gently and let go of the clutch as you do it. There we go, good!
I’m doing it! I’m driving! This is awesome! Le’ts turn some music on!
Keep your eyes on the road! No music! We are coming up to a red light, step on the brakes. What are you doing? I said the brakes! Look out for those people! Get off the sidewalk!
Get out of my way! This is just like playing video games!
It’s the police! Pull over!
They’ll never take me alive! 
Cooking A Thanksgiving Dinner 
Roller Coaster 
I’m so excited! We are finally here! Six Flags Magic Mountain! This is the best amusement park in the world!
Alright settle down now, you’re gonna give yourself a heart attack.
Whoa... Viper! That’s the world’s highest and fastest roller coaster! You go at more than miles per hour! I wanna go on that one! Can I mom please? Can I?
Chris I’m not sure you should get on that. It seems a bit too much for you and we just had breakfast minutes ago. I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Aww come on mom! I can handle it. I promise I won’t ask for anything else! Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna throw upon anything...
Alright! Yeah! This is amazing! See how high up we’re going? Whoa... mmmf mmfff barf. 
Wedding Doubts 
Man, I’m freaking out! You gotta help me!
Whoa whoa take it easy, relax. Geez, you’re sweating like a pig! What’s going on?
I can’t go through with this! I just can’t! I’m not ready for marriage! What was I thinking? I’m only thirty five years old! I’ve got my entire life ahead of me, adventures waiting! I can’t settle down yet!
What are you talking about? It wasn’t more than a month ago that you were rambling on about how you are tired of living the life of a bachelor and how you envy your friends that have a family!
I know I know!
Let’s think this through. First of all, you cannot leave Amy at the altar. Not only will she be humiliated and kill you, but she is the woman that you love andthe woman of your dreams! Why would you want to end that or jeopardize it like this? Second of all, you are just getting cold feet. You know deep down inside that you want to marry her, so cut the crap and do it!
You’re right. I’m being crazy! Ok, I’m ready, let's do this!
Great! Phew! That was a close one! You had me going there for a minute. I thought I was gonna have to slap some sense into you. 
Buying a Camera 
Hello, ma’am, can I help you find something?
Yes, actually I’m looking to buy a camera.
We’ve got a wide selection do you know if you’d like a point-and-shoot, or something a little fancier? Are you shopping for yourself or for someone else?
Actually I’m buying a camera for my husband.
Ah, well then I’d recommend a nice entry-level digital SLR.
Yeah? Can I take a look at the SLRs you carry?
Sure thing, follow me. This here is the.
The Canon Eos. Yeah it’s ok, but I’m looking for something that performs better in low light, has a better display panel, and longer battery life.
Oh, ah, um the Nikon D60 is a nice option.
Yeah, but what kit lens does this camera come with? I don’t want some bulky telephoto lens.
Oh, well this one has the, uh.
Looks to me like an 18-55mm lens. pretty standard, that will do. Not like my husband will be stalking celebrities or anything!
So, ahem, can I interest you in any acc...
Accessories? Do you carry polarizing filters?
Polarizing filter um we should! I’m sorry, ma’am. looks like we’re sold out.
No you’re not! There are some right here!
Oh, well, would you look at that! Po-la-ri-zing filters.
Thanks for your help, Ralph!
No problem, ma’am. 
Dry Cleaners 
Thank god you are open! I have an emergency!
Hello Mr. Henderson, what can I do for you?
I need this dress and this suit dry cleaned ASAP!
OK, I can have it ready by the end of the week.
No you don’t understand, I need this tomorrow morning! I accidentally spilled beer all over my wife’s dress and we have a wedding to attend tomorrow! She’s gonna kill me!
Ok, I can have it ready tomorrow afternoon, but this suit is also very stained. I can’t guarantee we can remove it completely.
Fine! Can you also iron and starch this shirt?
Certainly.
Great! This is our secret! If you see my wife, say nothing to her about this! 
Preparing a Budget 
Welcome Mr and Mrs Carnwell, please take a seat.
Thank you.
So I understand that your family spending has sky rocketed and you want to start budgeting.
We have two kids and with allowances, paying their credit cards, ours and not to mention our mortgage and car payments. With the recent economic downturn, my husband’s business has suffered and now we need some advice as to how we can prepare a family budget.
I see. Well you have come to the right place. First what we need to do, is determine your cash flow. Knowing how much money is coming in will help us allocate spending to different categories such as mortgage, education, groceries, etc.
Yes that makes sense.
Secondly, I need you to bring all of your receipts for the last two to three months. That way, we can determine what your average expenditures are and see which category you are spending money on the most. Usually, your fixed costs are higher and we can’t do much about that, but we can usually trim your variable costs such as entertainment or clothing.
That’s another thing. If you really want to stop spending so much money, throw away at least half of your credit cards! 
Getting a manicure 
Honey I’ll be right back!
Where are you going?
I told you already! I’m going to get my nails done.
Again? You just went last week! You spend more time atthe nail salon than you do here at home! Honestly, why do you need a manicure every week?
Well, first of all, I like to pamper myself, and my nails look great. You should come with me!
Why? I don’t want to have nail polish or anything like that!
They don’t only paint my nails! The manicurist will remove my cuticles, file my nails, and apply at least nails coats of nail polish!
Yeah, sounds like something I should definitely do. 
New Years Resolution 
Did you read this? It says that the number one new years resolution make is to spend more time with friends and family.
Why would that be funny?
Well, think about it. We are a society that is always on the go, not because we have to, but because we want to.
Why?
We work hard and spend less time at home because we are trying to provide for our family with goods and services that are usually unnecessary.
I don’t agree, but anyways, I think you should start thinking of a new year’s resolution yourself.
What’s the point? We always make a new year’s resolution and by February we will have forgotten about it. It’s pointless.
Well then maybe you should resolve to sticking to your goals and objectives.
What about you? Your gym bag is gathering dust and you still have brand new running shoes that are yet to be jogged in.
Well, I would go if you kept your promise of going to the gym with me everyday!
Yeah yeah whatever. 
Heating 
It’s freezing in here! Can I turn up the heat?
Don’t touch that thermostat! You don’t pay the bills around here!
Dad! Are you serious? What’s the point of having central heating if we can’t use it! Look, I can see my breath!
Put on a sweater! I’m not gonna let you run up my heating bill just because it’s a bit chilly.
Dad! I’m gonna catch a cold!
When I was your age, my parents didn’t have central heating like you do! We had a furnace in the center of the living room and that was it. We used it to cook, heat the house and even dry our clothes! We never caught a cold. You should be grateful!  
Decorating a Christmas Tree 
Finding the perfect present 
Bill. Bill! You gotta help me!
What’s wrong? Slow down or you are gonna give yourself a heart attack.
Tomorrow is Christmas and I haven’t bought my mom anything! I’m such a bad son!
Take it easy! Let’s go to the mall, window shop a little and see if there is anything she might like.
That’s just it! I don’t know what to get her! Last year I got her a ring that was two sizes too big and a pair of shoes five sizes too small! I suck at getting presents for people.
That’s where you’re making a big mistake! You can’t just guess peoples’ likes or sizes! Especially with clothes or jewelry. On top of that, I think that you should get your mom something that shows how much you love her. At the same time you should show her that you took the time and effort to look for something that she would really like!
Yeah you’re right. When it comes down to it, I can be pretty tacky.
Yeah tell me about it. I know! Your mom is trying to learn Spanish right? Why don’t you get her a gift certificate for this great website I saw called SpanishPod.
Now that’s a great idea! 
Silent Night 
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born
Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love’s pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth 
Jingle Bells 
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O’er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Christmas Day 
Dad, dad, dad! Wake up! It’s Christmas!
Timmy. It’s too early for this. Look, it’s six in the morning! Go back to bed!
No way! Santa already came and left all our presents! Can we go open them? Please! Please!
Fine! Not like Santa brought me any gifts!
Look at all these presents under the Christmas tree! Awesome!
Alright Timmy, knock yourself out. We should get ready and head to the market to buy everything for the Christmas dinner tonight.
I got the list right here. Ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, ingredients for the gravy and of course, yams!
Boxing Day 
What do you think of this one?
Eh, so so.
And this one? Too flashy?
Nah, not too flashy.
Uhg! And this sweater from my aunt? Isn’t it hideous?
I guess.
Are you even listening? I’m trying to have a conversation with you.
And I’m trying to watch the game, but you’re yapping on about your new clothes!
Well I have to decide which gifts to keep and which to exchange for better ones when I go to the Boxing Day sales this afternoon!
Well could you do me the favor of making this quick? It’s the third quarter and you’ve been blabbering on since the first!
Oh, your precious game. You watch the same game every year, and each year your beloved hometown team loses by at least three goals!
Oh no you didn’t. You didn’t just insult the Salsbury Seals, did you? Why don’t you just. just go and return all of those stupid clothes and not come back until the sales are over?
I might just! Enjoy your stupid game!
And Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! 
Winter Clothes 
Bye, mom!
Wait, Jimmy, it’s cold outside. Put a hat on!
Ok. Bye!
No, wait, you will be too cold without mittens.
Alright. See ya!
Hold on, with that wind, you’re going to catch a cold. Wear this scarf.
Ok, see you after school...
Oh... and ear muffs! Put these on... here we go.
Mom?
Yes, honey...
I... I can’t breathe. 
Fresh Start 
Now that it’s the new year, I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf.
Yeah? You finally decided to wipe the slate clean?
You got it! I have a new job, I’m living in a new city, with new friends! This is my opportunity to make some small changes in the way I live my life.
So what are you going to do? Take up an art class or something?
Well, first of all, I’ve decided to stop smoking. It’s not that I’m pinching pennies or anything, it’s just that I’ve been smoking since I was sixteen, and I think it’s time to stop.
I’m with you on that one. Anything else you’re planning on doing?
One last thing, I’ve decided to come out of the closet.
It’s about time! 
Farm Animals 
Isn’t this great? I always wanted to own a farm, live out in the country, grow my own food!
This is very beautiful. Though I have to confess, I don’t know the first thing about farming!
That’s fine! Don’t worry about it!
What was that?
Relax, it was just a goat!
And that?
It’s just the cows that are grazing over there. We can milk them later.
What was that?
Honey, seriously, It’s just a sheep. Relax!
Relax, that was just the horses and donkeys that are in the stable .
You know what? I don’t think I can hack it here out in the countryside. I’m going back to the city! 
Business Plan 
I’ve had it! I’m done working for a company that is taking me nowhere!
So what are you gonna do? Just quit?
That’s exactly what I am going to do! I’ve decided to create my own company! I’m going to write up a business plan, get some investors and start working for myself!
Have you ever written up a business plan before?
Well, no, it can’t be that hard! I mean, all you have to do is explain your business, how you are going to do things and that’s it, right?
You couldn’t be more wrong! A well written business plan will include an executive summary which highlights the idea of the business in two pages or less. Then you need to describe your company with information such as what type of legal structure it has, history, etc.
Well that seems easy enough.
Wait, there’s more! Then you need to introduce and describe your goods or services. What they are and how they are different from competitors’? Then comes the hard part, a market analysis. You need to investigate and analyze hundreds of variables! You need to take into consideration socioeconomic factors from GDP per capital to how many children on average the population has! All this information is useful so that you can move on to your strategy and implementation stage, where you will describe in detail how you will actually execute your idea.
Geez. Is that all?
Almost, the most important piece of information for your investors will be the financial analysis. Here you will calculate and estimate sales, cash flow and profits. After all, people will want to know when they will begin to see a return on their investment!
Umm. I think I’ll just stick to my old job and save myself all the hassle of trying to start up a business! 
Going On A Diet 
Oh man! I’ve been starving myself for days now and I haven’t lost an ounce!
Are you trying to lose weight?
Yeah, my friend is getting married next month and I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid. I have to fit into my dress and look nice for her wedding, but I haven’t lost any weight! Look at these love handles.
You don’t have to starve yourself to lose weight. I think that’s where you’re going wrong.
Why? If I eat less, then my body will start eating away at my fat reserves right?
Not really. You should try to not eat foods high in calories, salts or saturated fats. Stay away from oily food and artificial flavors.
So you are saying that I should eat, but I should 
Yes! You can also try to reduce your intake of carbohydrates and foods that are high in cholesterol. You can have steamed veggies or increase your protein intake found in chicken or fish.
If I do all this do you think I can lose twenty pounds in four weeks?
Don’t count on it. 
Asking For A Raise 
Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?
Bill! Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?
Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.
Yes.
I won’t beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have three companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.
A raise? Son, I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.
I understand your position, and I know that the current economic downturn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.
Taking into account these factors, and considering I don’t want to start a brain drain, I’m willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?
Great! It’s a deal! Thank you, sir!
Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?
Oh, the electric company, gas company and water company! 
Hello sir, may I help you?
Yeah, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet.
I see. Well, you have come to the right place. We have over one hundred models of more than twenty leading mobile phone manufacturers.
Sounds good. I don’t want it to be too expensive, maybe something mid-range.
We have this new HTC smart phone. It comes with the Android OS so you can download applications. It also has a built-in camera, mp3 player and touch screen. It works on the 3G network so you have fast access to the internet wherever you are.
What about Wi-fi?
Of course! You can access the internet from any hotspot as well as from home.
One last thing. Is it waterproof? 
Family Barbecue 
Is everything ready for the big family barbecue tomorrow?
Yep. The steaks and chicken are marinated and I also bought hamburger buns.
We should also cook a couple dozen hot dogs and kebabs.
Yeah, good idea. We can put some lawn furniture outside next to the grill. I also set up the tent outside so we can hide from the sun if it gets too hot.
Great! I asked Grace to bring cups and serviettes as she is also bringing two big coolers for the beers.
This is gonna be a great barbecue! 
Daylight Savings Time 
Did you set your clock forward for daylight savings time?
What? Why do we have to do that?
Well, at the start of the spring we usually have more daylight in the mornings and less in the afternoon. This is basically due to our position on the planet and the rotation of the earth. In any case, to take better advantage of the daylight available, we compensate by moving our clocks forward one hour.
I see. That’s convenient! I never understood things like this, such as GMT. I never know what time zone we are in or when to change my clock!
That just stands for Greenwich Mean Time. Here in California, we are in Pacific Standard Time, that is eight time zones west of Greenwich. Remember when we were in Beijing? Well, then we were in China Standard Time, and that’s eight time zones east of Greenwich!
That’s why it was so weird traveling from Beijing to LA! Because of the huge time difference, even though we left Beijing at noon and flew for more than eight hours, we still arrived in LA the same day at noon! It’s like we went back in time! 
Natural Disasters 
Building Your Dream Home 
Mr. and Mrs. Robinson! Let’s get straight to it. You have saved up your money for years and are now ready to build your dream home. What did you have in mind?
A suburban bungalow straight out of the sixties! A perfect lawn with minimal landscaping. A brick patio in the backyard with an old-fashioned grill, quaint lawn furniture, and a swimming pool. A two-car carport, pastel siding and a gable roof. Completed with white shutters and a white picket fence!
In the living room we would have moss-green rugs and a fireplace with a stone mantle and wood paneling on the walls. In the kitchen, the cupboards would be a pale yellow and we would have a turquoise metal oven and vinyl flooring -
But sweetums, there is always a lot of wasted space in those kinds of homes. Besides, it’s just a fad. It doesn’t have the homey feeling the old homes do.
Do you know how much those things cost?
But buttercup, I thought you always said that you loved visiting your grandmother’s house!
Umm well I am just going to go get some coffee while you two keep discussing. 
Stir Fry 
Oh, man. I had the best supper last night. My wife made a stir fry and it was amazing!
I love stir fry Crispy bite-sized vegetables covered in a mixture of soy sauce and oyster sauce. Wilted greens and fresh bean sprouts. Throw in some onion and garlic and ginger! Mmm! Mmm! It’s almost lunchtime. I would die for a plate of stir fry right now!
Well, you can keep the vegetables, I’ll take the meat. The stir fry my wife made was really hearty, with chunks of beef and slivers of bell peppers and onion...
What? You call that a stir fry? More meat than vegetables? That’s the worst insult you could throw at a Chinese stir fry What a disgrace to the wok she fried it in! What you had is equivalent to a fajita without the wrap! Silly Americans! 
Job Hunting 
Woo hoo! This just might be the start of the rest of my life!
What happened?
I’m in the market for a job! I went on a website with hundreds of job listings in the area and browsed through them until I got the names of a few employers I would like to work for. I have the resume I wrote for English class last month and a cover letter will be a piece of cake to write. I’ve even done my research and found the names of the managers so I can address the letters personally. And you know I can be charming in interviews. Goodbye my penniless days! Hello salary and a career!
Ben, we’re fifteen. What kind of job are you looking for?
Oh, just for a position as a gas station attendant. You know, starting at a simple lowly job, just like all the greats before they made it big in the world.
Uh-huh.
But I’m just in it for the money, right? How else am I going to be able to afford to keep taking Angela to the movies? Besides, I love the smell of gasoline, don’t you? 
Going To The Tailor 
Welcome to Bill’s Fabric World. What can I do for you today?
I was wondering if you guys also tailor clothes?
Sure we do! We have the best tailors in the country! What is it that you need exactly?
Well, I’m looking to get a custom-made suit.
Excellent! We have the finest cashmeres at affordable prices. How about we get you measured? Let’s start off by measuring the width of your shoulders. Now, let’s measure the length of your arms and this bit around your neck here.
Can you make sure you leave a little extra space in the collar? My neck gets easily irritated.
No problem! Now for your pants, let me just measure your waist and the inseam.
You might also want to leave a little extra room in the waist area. I tend to gain a few pounds over the holidays.
OK. Now you can pick your fabric and pattern design. Please follow me. 
Calling 911 
Alright class, now that we’re all dressed up let’s see what professions you chose. Ah, I see a fireman, a police officer, a medic, and a lifeguard! Can anyone tell me what these people have in common?
They save people from bad things?
That’s right! Now class, if something bad happened and you had to get help, do you know what phone number you would call?
Yes, you would pick up the phone and dial 911. What are some emergency situations where you would need to dial 911?
If my grandpa has a heart attack!
If a robber breaks into the house!
Pff! I wouldn’t call 911 if the fire alarm went off in my house. The only time that ever happens is when we’re having spaghetti for supper, and Mom burns the garlic bread, as usual. 
Applying CPR 
Hello everyone and welcome to our CPR for beginners course. First of all, does anyone know what CPR stands for?
Cardio pulmonary resuscitation!
That’s right! We apply CPR in the case of cardiac arrest or pulmonary arrest.
What does that mean?
Well, basically if your heart stops pumping blood, or your lungs stop pumping air, then we need to get them going again! That’s when we have to apply this procedure. Let’s begin! I need a volunteer.
Me! Me!
Alright, come here and lay flat on your back. Let’s suppose this young woman has stopped breathing. We must lift the person’s chin so that we clear a pathway for air to get into the lungs. Then we place our mouth over the other person’s mouth and blow air two or three times, like this.
Wait, what are you doing? I’m a married woman! You can’t just try to kiss me like this!
Ma’am I’m not trying to kiss you! I am trying to demonstrate how to apply CPR in the case of an emergency.
Well, ok. But no French kissing!
As I was saying, we blow air through the mouth in this manner. Once this is done, we must try to get the heart going again. To do this, we place our hands over the person’s chest, and press down firmly two or three times.
Wait, what are you doing! You can’t just kiss me then go for second base! 
Learning About First Aid 
Hey Joe! Where have you been these past few days?
I’ve been busy with a first aid course that I started about a week ago at the Red Cross.
Cool! I’ve always wanted to do something like that! Have you learned anything useful?
For sure! I mean we’ve learned how to apply pressure to stop bleeding, how to check for a pulse, and even how to apply CPR!
Have you treated any real emergencies?
Well, they took us along with some paramedics. There was this guy who fell off his motorcycle and suffered a concussion as well as a couple of compound fractures. His wounds were pretty serious so they had to rush him to the hospital. It was intense!
I can imagine! I tend to faint when I see blood, so I think I won’t be taking up a course like that anytime soon! 
Junk Food 
I’m hungry, let’s go grab a bite to eat.
Sure! How about we go home and prepare a couple of sandwiches?
Nah! Let’s go get a burger and fries.
All you ever do is have unhealthy fast food Pizza, fries, burgers and hot dogs! You have to start eating better!
What are you talking about? I have salads sometimes.
Yeah right! I’m serious! You should also cut down on your sugar intake as well. You drink carbonated drinks that are high in fructose syrup! It’s really not healthy!
Fine! I’ll start drinking and having home cooked meals that are low in fat. Are you happy now?
It’s a start, but I’ll be happy when I see you stick to your promise! 
At The Post Office 
Welcome to the National Post. How may I help you?
Hi, I would like to send this package to China, and these postcards as well.
Very well. You will need some stamps for the postcards and I need to weigh that package, too.
Great. How much is this going to cost?
Well, it depends. Do you want to send it via priority, express or standard mail?
What’s the difference?
Well, standard mail can take up to fifteen working days. Priority is a bit faster and will arrive in about five to eight working days. Express is the fastest, but it’s also the most expensive. It only takes three days and you can track your package online.
I see. Well, there’s no rush. Please send it via priority mail. Please be extra careful, the contents of the package are fragile. 
Asking For Directions 
We have been going around in circles for the past hour! Will you just please stop and ask for directions?
We are not lost! I’m just taking the scenic route.
Yeah, whatever. I told you we should buy that GPS that was on sale, but would you listen to me? No! This is so typical.
Fine! I’ll ask this guy for directions if it will shut your trap! Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me how to get to Saint Mary’s Church?
Thanks!
See? Was that hard? If you would only listen to me more often, you would be better off. 
Calling Tech Support 
Understanding a Trial 
Closing The Deal 
Talking To Your Roomate 
Charlie, do you have a second?
Yeah what’s up?
Well, I went and paid the bills today and you still haven’t given me your half.
Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. I agreed we would go halves on allthe bills, but frankly I think it’s unfair.
Unfair! Why?
Well, you have long hair and use the hairdryer every morning. I don’t. You leave your computer on all night downloading torrents. I don’t. You see what I’m getting at here?
You leave the air conditioner on day and night! You also take 30 minute showers which means you are using way more gas and water than me!
Well, while we are at it, stop bringing your friends over for drinks every weekend. You always leave a mess and keep me up all night!
Maybe you should just move out and find another place.
Maybe you should move out! 
Shopping Online 
What are you doing?
I’m just looking for a nice pillow on Ebay.
You are shopping for a pillow online? That’s absurd!
Why? I don’t have to leave the house or browse a dozen stores to find what I’m looking for. This way, I just search for it online quick and easy.
I see, but how do you pay for it? How do you know you aren’t going to be ripped off by the seller?
Well, the website handles a point system where if the seller does something wrong, people comment negatively and then you know that he or she may not be trustworthy.
Wow, that sounds pretty safe. So how do you pay? Do you need a credit card?
You can use a credit card or your debit card. They also let you use the PayPal system which is really safe and fast. I have never had any problems with someone hacking my information or anything.
Do you think I can find a sweater for my dog online?
You can find anything! Are you sure you want to start shopping online though? Once you step into this world, there is no turning back!
Let’s do it! 
Understanding The Stock Market 
Sorry to bother you sir, but I have some bad news.
What is it?
Well, the stock market just took a huge plunge and we’ve lost a lot of money!
What do you mean? What happened?
There are many factors that weigh in, but NASDAQ is down 200 points, the DOW JONES indicator also suffered! Our portfolio is worth half of what it was worth points week ago.
How is this possible? You are supposed to be talking to our stockbrokers and making sure that our securities and investments are safe and making a profitable return!
I know sir! We didn’t expect a bull market to become a bear market all of a sudden. On the other hand, you still have some high yield trash bonds and government bonds that will give us enough liquidity to cut our loses and reinvest in emerging markets. We could potentially make this tragedy work for us and make us think outside the box.
Do what you have to do! One other thing, don’t tell the rest of the stockholders about this. If they find out, it’s the end of this company! 
Office Gossip 
Meeting the In-laws
Playing Board Games 
Last Will And Testament 
I, Luke Thompson, residing in California, being of sound mind, do hereby declare this instrument to be my last will and testament.
I hereby revoke all previous wills and codicils.
I direct that the disposition of my remains be as follows: I am to be cremated and taken to the summit of Mount Everest where my ashes will forever remain at the ceiling of the Earth.
I give all the rest and residue of my estate to my spouse, Betty Thompson, should she survive me for days. If my spouse, Betty Thompson, does not survive me, I give all the rest and residue of my estate to EnglishPod.
If neither Betty Thompson nor EnglishPod survives me, I give all the rest and residue of my estate to my heirs as determined by the laws of the State of California, relating to descent and distribution.
I appoint Robert Porter, to act as the executor of this will, to serve without bond. Should Robert Porter be unable or unwilling to serve, then I appoint Jason Smalls to act as the executor of this will.
I herewith affix my signature to this will on this the twenty third of May two thousand ten in the presence ofthe following witnesses, who witnessed and subscribed this will at my request, and in my presence. 
Funeral Arrangements 
Hi Daniel, how are you holding up? I am greatly sorry for your loss.
Thank you, I'm doing much better. I've been organizing everything for the funeral.
How's that going?
It’s a lot harder than I imagined. There are many things that you have to to arrange. I booked a time and date with the funeral home, but I still have a lot of things to do.
Have you bought a burial plot and a casket?
No. Wendy is being cremated. She always talked about how she didn’t want to be buried. I already chose a cremation urn and we plan to spread the ashes in the ocean.
I see, that sounds like something she would have really liked. I am sure the memorial service will be tasteful. You are doing a great job.
Thanks, it hasn’t been easy, but luckily we have life insurance and Wendy left behind a detailed will that will sort out any other legal matters. 
Describing Personalities 
OK class, settle down. I have the results of your individual personality tests. I am going to hand them out and if you’d like, you can read them out loud to the rest of the class.
I’ll read mine!
OK, go ahead.
It says here that I am adventurous, outgoing and easy-going. It says that I am a little superstitious and occasionally naive! That’s not true!
The test isn’t one-hundred percent accurate. Is that all it says?
No! It also says that I am open-minded with great ambition but that I can also be reckless and clumsy. This is stupid!
Ok, anyone else want to read theirs?
Pfft whatever, these tests are bologna! 
At the Deli 
Honey, we are all out of wine and cheese. Do you mind running to the deli and picking up a few things?
Can’t it wait? I’m watching the game right now!
Your friends and family are coming over tonight and we still need to get a lot of things.
Fine! What do you need?
Ok, pick up some cured meats to go with the wine. Maybe a pound of polish sausages, ham, liverwurst, salami and any other cold cuts that are on sale. I think I saw a promotion for pastrami. Also get some cole slaw and a jar of olives.
Whoa wait a minute! Isn’t that a bit too much? I mean, how much is all of this going to cost!
Never mind that. Get some dips as well. Get a jar of spinach and blue cheese dip and also some Tzatziki. If they have bean dip get that as well. Last but not least, get some pickles.
Is that all, your majesty?
Very funny! Get a move on! People will be here any minute. 
Health Food 
Volunteering 
Divorce 
Baby Shower 
Thank you for organizing this great baby shower for me! I’ve always been to baby showers but never actually had one held for me! Let’s get started!
Ok, let’s start opening some presents!
Oh look! What a great little bib for the baby! This will definitely come in handy! Oh wow, you also got me a stroller! That’s so great! Thank you!
This next one is from Betty.
A highchair and car seat! Wow Betty thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
One more from Carla.
A playpen and crib! Thanks Carla! This is just what I needed!
OK, that’s all of them. No more gifts. Now who wants to guess when the baby is due!
Umm. I think my water just broke! Get me to a hospital! 
New Furniture 
How about this floor lamp?
Fine just get it! We have been shopping for furniture for five hours! I’m so tired!
We still need to find an armoire and a dresser.
Fine! I am going to go home and drop off this nightstand, coffee table and love seat while you look for the rest of the things.
Great! Pick me up in about an hour because I think I’ll also get a bean bag and a dining set.
While you are at it, can you pick out a nice recliner? I really want one so I can watch TV.
Recliner? In my beautifully decorated living room? I don’t think so! 
Car Trouble 
Car trouble center. How may I help you?
My car won’t start! Stupid old car!
Hold on, before you kick your car let’s go through some possible problems.
Fine.
Ok, first of all, can you turn the key in the ignition?
Yeah! I am here with my friend and he thinks it may be the spark plug or the starter motor.
Those are possible problems, but tell me, when you turn the key, do you hear the starter motor crank?
Yeah, it sounds like it usually does when I start the car, but nothing else happens. The engine won’t start. Should I maybe press the accelerator?
No. If you step on the accelerator pedal you can flood the carburetor and your car will never start.
So what do you think it is?
I know this may seem like a silly question, but does your car have gasoline?
Umm. yeah! Right! I got the car started! Thanks for your help! I told you to fill the tank! 
Carbon Footprint 
So what’s your guys’ take on all this global warming hysteria in the media?
It’s pretty serious, man. There have been tons of scientific studies and the scientific community says that the earth is heating up. We need to make some drastic changes to our lifestyle if we want to preserve our planet.
I don’t know. It sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo if you ask me. ”Save the earth!” The earth will save itself. It’s survived worst disasters in the past. I mean, honestly, we live in the boonies. There’s no way anyone here is ever going to walk or bike to work, especially in the winter. And we have no bus system. My house is forty years old and it would take a lot of money to get it refitted to be ”green” and ”energy-efficient”.
I guess...
So, like I was saying, we need to change the way we live. We need to reduce our carbon footprint.
I car pool to work everyday with some buddies of mine. I have a rain barrel outside my house I use to water my plants and my lawn in the summer, and I make sure I always bring reusable bags with me when I get my groceries. And we just started using bio-degradable plastic made from corn oil for take-out orders at my family’s restaurant. Remember the three R’s? Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.
Like the ones we’re drinking out of?
Yeah. 
Facial Hair 
Crime Scene 
Planning A Crime 
Fundraiser 
Ok Mark, it’s your turn to ring the doorbell. I did it last time.
I hate going door to door, and I hate asking for money.
But we need to raise enough money for the school fundraiser so that our class can win the pizza party! You do want to have a pizza party, don’t you?
Yes, but...
Just go already!
No one’s coming.
Try again.
Maybe there’s no one home.
Of course there’s someone home! There are two cars in the driveway and I see lights on in the house! Hello! Anybody home? We would like to know if you want to sponsor us in our school fundraiser. Fifty percent of the profits go towards the new school playground!
I don’t know why anyone would want what’s in this catalog anyway. It’s just a bunch of tacky Christmas ornaments, Cd’s of old people singing Christmas songs, and special crackers and cheeses and boxes of chocolates.
You don’t like chocolates?
Not this kind. They’ve got weird names like ganache and praline.
Look! I just saw someone walking around inside! These people are being very rude!
Finally, someone’s coming!
They don’t look too happy.
Hi, sir. Would you like to sponsor us or make a donation to.
Grade seven.
No soliciting.
What does that mean?
No idea. 
Wedding Planning 
Trina, will you marry me?
Yes! Yes! And yes! Jared of course I’ll marry you!
Oh Babe, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you! I can’t wait for all the adventures we’re going to have, for all the fights and the laughter. I can’t wait to grow old and wrinkly with you.
Oh Jared! I can’t wait for our wedding! I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve already chosen a date! Six months from now in the summer! Melissa saw you buying the ring last month so I’ve had plenty of time to start planning!
She what?
Oh don’t worry sweetie, I didn’t know when you were going to propose. It was still a nice surprise! As I was saying, I’ve got it all planned out. There’s almost nothing left to do! I wrote up our guest list and we will have roughly four hundred guests attending.
four hundred?
No need to sweat it. My parents agreed to pay for most of the wedding, which is going to be low budget anyway. So roughly four hundred people, which means that the hall at Northwood Heights will be our reception venue. I thought it would be nice if we had the wedding at your parents’ church and my uncle of course would be officiating. We’ll meet with him soon for some pre-wedding counseling. The music for the wedding ceremony was a no-brainer. My step-sister and her string quartet will take care of that. My cousin will be the official photographer. I thought it would also be nice if his daughter could sing a solo. Did you know that she’s going to be a professional opera singer?
Ah...
And then of course the ladies at the church would love to be our caterers for the banquet and we’ll get the Youth Group to serve us. I was thinking that your friend’s band could be our entertainment for the night. though they might have to tone it down a bit. Or we could hire a DJ. Your sister’s husband could get us a discount with that company that does the decor at weddings. What’s their name again? I was thinking that we could have an island paradise themed wedding and our theme color would be a soothing blue like Aquamarine.  And there will be a huge seashell on the wall behind the podium where we’ll make our toasts! What do you think of small packages of drink mixes for our wedding favors? Who else am I missing? Oh, your uncle could be our florist and his wife could make our wedding cake!
Wow.
See? It’s going to be wonderful! Oh this wedding is going to be everything I ever dreamed of.
If I survive the next six months. 
Going to the Beach 
Oh, George, what a beautiful day it is today! The sun is hot and there are just a few clouds scattered here and there! What a perfect day to be at the beach! The kids are going to have so much fun! And we’ll be able to relax in the sun while they’re playing.
It does seem like the perfect day! I’m glad we chose to get out of the city and enjoy the nice weather! This looks like the perfect spot! Ok kids, put on your sunscreen while your mom and I set up camp. Here, Mary, help me lay down these beach towels.
There we go. Can you help me with the umbrella? Perfect.
Ok kids, here’s a beach ball and a Frisbee, a pail and a shovel. I want to see an impressive sandcastle by the time we leave. Don’t stray too far. Wait! Leave your sandals here or put on your wet shoes.
And stay in the shallow area. I don’t want to see you go any farther than that sandbar! It’s too deep out there and we didn’t bring your floaties.
You’re back already? The water was too cold, huh? I’ll tell you a secret. Do you see that small pool of water over there? It’ll be warmer in there. Go see if you can find some seashells or catch some minnows.
What is that? A jellyfish? Jeremy, put that down right now! It could sting you!
Ah! Not on me! Ow! 
Buying Men’s Shoes 
Gardening 
I’ve decided to grow my own garden!
What? You don’t know the first thing about gardening!
On the contrary, I have been reading a lot of books about the subject.
Oh yeah? Tell me then, smarty pants, how will you go about setting up your garden?
Well, first I need to buy some things, such as fertilizer, seeds and tools.
What type of tools?
You know, the basics. A rake, shovel, spade and a hoe.
Right. Well it seems like you have all your bases covered. What’s next?
I’ll till the soil and then sow the seeds. I’ll then add some fertilizer and voila! Gardening all done!
Well, good luck with your garden, especially considering we are in the dry season and it won’t rain for the next three months! 
Buying Women’s Shoes 
Toys 
Cool!
Wow! Mommy, can I get that for my birthday?
No way! I want Professor X!
Oooo! She’s pretty! I’ve never had a porcelain doll before.
I doubt Mom and Dad would get you that for your birthday. She costs a pretty penny. Plus, you’d most likely break her.
That’s ingenious! Why hasn’t anyone thought of that before?
Forex 
Hey John! I haven’t seen you in ages! What’s new? What have you been up to?
Pete! Nice to see you.  Well, on top the norm, you know, wife and kids and work, I’ve actually gotten into doing some trading.
Trading? You, big guy? What are you trading?
Currencies.
Currencies? As in Euros, Dollars, Pounds and Rupees?
It’s called Forex. Foreign Exchange. The great thing about it is that I don’t have to invest a huge amount. I put in a margin deposit and then I can buy and sell up to 100 times that much!
I don’t understand. You’re buying and selling money?
You got it! Just last night I made USD 150!
Last night?
Yeah! It’s a 24 hour market! I had bought some RMB earlier at a low asking price but last night it appreciated drastically so I made a split second decision and sold all my RMB at an amazing bid! I’ve also done some trading with CHF and AUD and HKD. I’ve made some good profits but I’ve also suffered some losses. It depends on a lot of factors just like any other market. In total I’ve made about USD 500 in the past few months.
You’re kidding! I’m on! Where do I sign up? 
Going to the Doctor 
Interview Skills Part 1 - The Introduction
Trying To Sleep 
Morning Routine 
Interview Skills Part 2 - Discussing Your Background 
Adventure Sports 
Welcome to Adventure Tours. How may I help you?
I want to book a tour with adventure sports.
Excellent! Our company has more than ten years of experience in the adventure tourism and sports field. Let me show you some options. This is our most popular choice, our river guides will take you on a whitewater rafting trip followed by a ride in a hot air balloon!
I don’t really think I’m ready to throw myself down a river full of jagged rocks in a rubber boat or go up in the air in a wicker basket held up by an oversize balloon. What else do you have?
Well, in that case, we can take you hang gliding with one of our experienced instructors. It’s the closest you can get to flying.
What? You mean strap myself to a flimsy kite? No thank you! Next!
Mmm. ok. Well, why don’t you tell me a little bit more about what you would like? We have everything from mountain biking, to rock climbing to street luge.
I’m thinking something exciting but safer.
I have the perfect option, this package will take you on a hiking trip through the Himalayas for three days and afterwards there’s a dog sledding journey!
That’s more like it!  
Getting A Pet 
We have been over this a hundred times ! We are not getting a pet!
Why not? Come on! Just a cute little puppy. or a kitty!
Who is going to look after a dog or a cat?
I will! I’ll feed it, bathe it and walk it every day! We can get a Labrador or a German Shepard!
What if we want to take a vacation ? Who will we leave it with? Plus, our apartment is too small for that breed of dog.
Ok. How about we get a cat or a ferret!
We’re planning on having children soon, I don’t think those animals are a good idea with a baby in the house.
Fine! Let’s get a bird then! We can keep it in its cage and teach it to talk! A parrot would be awesome!
I’ll tell you what, I can get you some hamsters and we’ll take it from there.
Yay!    
Interview Skills Part 3 - Education Background    
Learning The Piano 
Talking to a Travel Agent 
Welcome to Perfect Getaway Tours. How can I help you?
I would like to plan a surprise getaway for me and my wife.
Very well, we have a couple of different options such as beaches, the wilderness, the countryside or even going to a spa for the weekend.
I think something in the countryside would be nice.
Perfect! This package includes round-trip flights to New Hampshire. A free airport pick-up is included. Our VIP limousine will pick you up and provide you with complimentary champagne and finger foods to soften the thirty-minute ride to the countryside.
Sounds good! What is the hotel that we will be staying at like?
That is the best part. Your hotel is actually an old country villa that has been restored and refurbished to accommodate a maximum of ten guests. You will enjoy an intimate and private time in this very spacious and warm N Included in the price is three meals a day, excluding beverages. You can choose to eat at the fabulous restaurant that offers a stunning view of the lush, green gardens. If you prefer, your own private butler can arrange your meal to be served in your room or outside on our terrace.
Wow! This sounds like something my wife would really enjoy! Are there any outdoor activities we can take part in?
Of course! The hotel has a stable with beautiful stallions for a very romantic horseback ride along the country trail. You can also go fishing to the nearby lake or visit the local vineyard.
I’m sold! I want to book this trip. I don’t care what it costs! Money is no object!  
Interview Skills Part 4 - Talking About Work Experience    
Getting A Subscription 
Good afternoon Ma’am, My name is Mike and I am selling subscriptions to all sorts of periodicals.
No thank you, I am not interested.
Please ma’am , if you could spare five minutes of your time, I am sure we could find something that interests you!
I wish I could, but I have to walk the dog and finish cooking so if you would excuse me.
We have a great variety of magazines all about cooking! This one for example, is a bi-monthly publication with recipes from all over the world!
Wow, that would be kind of useful, do you have any other cooking magazines?
Sure do! This one is a quarterly publication, but each issue has over 200 color pages of recipes and also many home decorating ideas!
Wow, this is nice! Ok, sign me up for both publications.
You mentioned you have a dog, most pet owners sign up for this weekly newsletter that has information on dog care, pet shops and even pet sitters!
That is exactly what I needed! What else do you have?
Well, I also have...  
At The Train Station 
Hi, I would like to purchase a one way ticket to Brussels please.
Certainly sir, this is our train schedule. We have an express train departing every morning and an overnight train that departs at nine pm.
How long does it take to get there?
About twelve hours. We currently have tickets available only for first class on the express train. If you’d like, you can choose a sleeper on the overnight train which is a bit less expensive.
Yeah, I think that is the best option. Do you serve food on the train? Twelve hours is such a long time!
Yes of course. There is a dining car towards the front of the train where they serve meals at all times. We do provide complimentary water and coffee for all of our passengers.
Great! I’ll take it.
Here you are sir. Your train leaves from platform number nine at nine on the dot. Remember to be here at least thirty minutes before your scheduled departure time or else you might miss your train!
I understand. Thank you very much!
Have a great trip.  
Interview Skills Part 5 - Discussing Reasons For Leaving Previous Position    
Dinnerware 
Honey can you set the table?
Um, sure. What are we having for dinner? Do I need to put out anything in particular?
Well, make sure to put out the pepper and salt shakers. I don’t know if your brother is coming tonight so set an extra place mat just in case.
Ok, should I use the fancy silverware?
Yeah go ahead, forks, spoons and knives. I roasted some meat so be sure to put out some steak knives as well.
I’ll also set some cups and saucers for some coffee after dinner.
Honey? Have you seen our soup bowls?
They are in the cupboard where you keep the gravy boat and serving dishes. Just be careful because the wine glasses are also there.
Oops!  
Making A Sandwich 
Welcome to our show! Today, I am going to show you how to make the perfect mouthwatering sandwich! Are you ready? Let’s get started!
Let’s start with the basics: bread. Bread is an important ingredient here. You need to remember one thing - choose the bread according to the following criteria: freshness, crumb and color. If you want a closed sandwich I recommend you first toast your bread in a toaster or oven, or grill it slightly until it gets a light brown color.
Now that our bread is ready, let’s talk about the ingredients! Of course, each person’s palate is different, but I’m going to give you a few tips that you’ll be able to use when turning any sandwich into the perfect sandwich. I would strongly recommend you put fresh vegetables in your sandwich.
Do not undervalue them as they play a big role in forming the taste and will make the sandwich more refreshing and light. The best choices here are evident - cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, sweet pepper pepper or chilli, lettuce and, of course, herbs - you can’t go wrong with them. As for aubergines, mushrooms and asparagus, I would recommend you first grill them slightly with a little touch of olive oil.
Last but not least, we have a wide variety of condiments that we can add to our perfect sandwich. We can be subtle and just add a touch of salt and pepper, or we can combine mustard sauce, mayonnaise, ketchup or even caviar to achieve a stronger flavor! It’s always a good idea to cut your sandwich in triangles or manageable pieces to avoid all your ingredients falling out and staining your shirt!
That’s all the time we have for today, but join us next time where we’ll be going over how to make the perfect lasagna! Till next time!  
Interview Skills Part 6 - Describing One's Strengths    
Buying Makeup 
I’m hungry, let’s go grab a bite to eat.
Yeah me too. Oh! Can we stop at the shop really fast? I lost my makeup bag at the airport and I want to pick up a few things.
Will you take long?
No! Five minutes I promise!
Come on! We have been here for almost an hour! I thought you said you were only going to get a few things! How long does it take you to pick out a lipstick and some nail polish!
Are you crazy! You have no idea what you are talking about! Just for my eyes I have to get eyeliner, an eyelash curler, eye shadow, an eyebrow pencil and mascara. Then I need to get foundation, liquid foundation.
Whoa whoa whoa! Are you nuts? How much is all this going to cost? I’m looking at the price at each one of these little things and it’s outrageous! This is basically a crayon!
What about you? You spend as much or more money on your razors, after shave, cologne and gel! Not to mention how much you spend on clothes and...
Fine! Get the stupid thirty dollar crayon!  
Contraceptives 
Alright, settle down everyone. As part of this school’s curriculum we’ll be covering sex ed this week.
Now I want everyone to take this class seriously, sexual education is very important and I want you to ask as many questions as you can think of. Remember, there are no stupid questions here.
Miss Carlton? What exactly is sexual education? Are you going to teach us like Kama sutra stuff like that?
No Jason, that’s not exactly what sex ed is. Basically, we will talk about sexually transmitted diseases, contraceptives and how the male and female bodies work.
My older sister is in college and she takes what she and her friends call the pill. I never really understood what that is, but I know it has to do with sex or something.
Good point Jason! This will be the topic of our first class, contraceptives. As you mentioned, the pill is one of the many that exist. The birth control pill is taken daily by a woman in order to prevent unwanted pregnancy, but it does not protect her from contracting STD’s from an infected person. Another popular method is using condoms. This is probably the best method if you have sex, since it not only prevents a woman from getting pregnant but also protects both from STD’s. Yes Jason?
What are condoms made out of? How exactly is it that a woman gets pregnant?
Condoms are usually made out of an elastic material called Latex. As for your other question, that’s a whole new class.  
Interview Skill 7 - Describing One's Weaknesses    
Making Breakfast 
Smells good! What’s for breakfast?
Well, since we are getting up so late, I decided to make a big breakfast!
Nice! Brunch!
Kind of, so I made scrambled and soft boiled eggs, some french toast and buttermilk pancakes!
Wow! You really went all out! Did you make any coffee?
Yeah, just the way you like it! I also put out some cereal and muesli if you feel like having something more light.
Looks good! I’ll squeeze us some fresh orange juice.
Get the jam and butter while you are in there! Oh! And don’t forget the syrup!  
The Miracle Of Life 
Continuing with our class, today we are going to study briefly the miracle of life. Many of you may think you already know how babies come to be, but I am sure that some of the things that we will be talking about today may surprise you. Billy can you turn on the projector please? Thanks. Ok, does anyone know what this is?
Looks like a goat head to me!
Nice try, but this is a woman’s womb which contains her uterus and ovaries. The ovaries are packed with eggs and each month during the middle of the menstrual cycle, the ripest one will be sucked up by one of the fallopian tubes. This is called ovulation and the exact time of ovulation depends on the length of your cycle. In an average 28 day cycle, ovulation will most likely happen between the 12th and 15th days, counting day 1 as the first day of your last period.
That’s amazing! So each month, the woman produces these eggs and then waits for them to be fertilized?
Actually, every woman is already born with over four hundred thousand eggs! Some will start dying off immediately and others released during her fertile period.
What about the guys? I know they produce sperm and stuff.
That’s right! The man’s body has a tiny factory that produces sperm twenty four hours a day! Each ejaculation will release about a hundred million sperm so the factory is always pretty busy. The sole purpose of a sperm’s life is to fertilize the woman’s egg.
So, then we basically need to put one-and-one together so we can have babies right?
Yes, the man will have an orgasm during intercourse and ejaculate sperm and semen. Now this is where the race begins and all those millions of sperm will race and swim from the cervix, through the uterus to the fallopian tubes. This could take anywhere from forty five minutes to twelve hours! Not all of them make it, since some go the wrong way and get lost or simply die. Many will actually reach the egg but only one will penetrate it and fertilize it. Once this happens, the egg instantly changes and creates a protective shield once the sperm is safely inside.
And then? That’s it?
Well, the egg will be fertilized within about 24 hours of its release. The genetic material from the sperm combines with the genetic material in the egg to create a new cell that will rapidly start dividing. The woman is not actually pregnant until that bundle of new cells, known as the embryo, travels the rest of the way down the fallopian tube and attaches itself to the wall of her uterus. Any other questions? Then let’s move on.  
Interview Skill 8 - Discussing Salary and Benefits  
The World Cup 
What are you doing?
What am I doing? What am I doing? Don’t you know what day it is?
Ummm. no.
It’s only the day when the world’s biggest sporting event is kicking off.
What?
The World Cup! The first match is today! It’s Mexico vs. South Africa! It’s going to be a really good match! Both teams have a very strong offense and have skilled players. I think that South Africa will probably dominate the first half since they are the host country, and all.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. The only sporting event we watch at home is the Super Bowl.
This is bigger than the Super Bowl, man! Teams from 32 countries compete against each other every four years and fight to win that trophy. They first start in a group stage with bigger groups, each group having 4 teams. The top 2 teams pass on to an elimination stage before going on to the quarterfinals and semifinals.
Sounds interesting, but soccer doesn’t really appeal to me.
Are you kidding? Over seven hundred million people watched the final match of the World Cup! It’s a very exciting and nerve wracking sport! Each nation is cheering on their team, hoping they will become the next champion. So far Brazil is the team with the most titles under their belt; they’re really good!
All I know about soccer is that you can’t use your hands and that players are always falling down, trying to get a free kick or penalty kick. It seems like a sissy sport to me!
Whatever dude, I’m going to go watch the opening match.  
You’re Grounded! 
Do you know what time it is?
Um. Ten?
Get in this door young man. It’s midnight, you are two hours past curfew.
I know, but it wasn’t my fault! I told Jennifer she had to drop me off before ten, but she wouldn’t leave the party!
I don’t care! You are grounded for life mister!
Mom! That is so unfair!
You know the rules and you broke them. No allowance and no TV for a week. I usually never ground you but this time I have to put my foot down!
What! For being a couple of hours late? You have to be kidding!
I don’t want to hear it! Now go to your room!  
Interview Skill 9 - Asking For Information About The Position
Guns 
Hey Nick, what are you up to?
Not much, just heading over to the shooting range. You wanna come?
Seriously? You mean to fire a real weapon? I don’t know man.
Yeah it will be fun! I have a 9mm pistol that is really easy to shoot. I also have a revolver that’s really fun too! They have big targets at the range that we could use to practice and improve your aim.
Yeah that would be cool! Maybe I can also have a try at other weapons like a machine gun or a shotgun! Maybe even a rocket launcher or an anti tank missile! Or what about a flame thrower!
Whoa, take it easy there Rambo. Don’t get carried away. These weapons are not toys, and you must first learn how to handle them properly. There are basic rules that you must abide by in order to be safe. For example, never handle a weapon that you haven’t inspected yourself. Always make sure there isn’t anything in the chamber, and never put your finger on the trigger unless you are ready to shoot!
Wow, I didn’t know! It always looks so cool and easy in the movies!
The reality is different you know, running and firing a weapon is a lot harder than in the movies! So are you ready?
Let’s do it!  
Describing Someone’s Face 
Let’s play a game!
Ok! How about Scrabble?
No no, a friend of mine taught me this really fun game. I’m going to describe someone’s face, and you guess who it is!
Ok!
Let’s see. He has a roman nose, bushy eyebrows and dimples!
Our cousin Pete! My turn! She has a pointy nose, sunken eyes and a mole on her chin!
Aunt Rose! That mole is so huge! Ok, my turn. He has a crooked nose and full lips. He has quite a few freckles and an oval face. Oh, he is also bald!
Your future husband!
Not funny.  
Interview Skill 10 - Concluding The Interview    
Nationalities 
Hey! How was your first day of class? I’m in level two and I’m loving my class this semester! It’s great being in a class of international students!
Mine was ok, except that no one in my class speaks English. I guess it will force me to converse in Chinese more in class so at least I should improve a lot this semester.
That’s both fortunate and unfortunate. It’s the United Nations in my class! We have people from all over the world! There are three Germans, a Pole, a Scottish, two French, an American, a Brazilian, a Chilean, a New Zealander, though he prefers to call himself a Kiwi. Who else do we have? Oh, we also have a Moroccan, a Togolese, a Pakistani, and two Indonesians!
That’s quite the array of nationalities. Everyone in my class is from Asia, except me. There are a few South Koreans, several Japanese, Malaysian, Thai, Singaporean, Filipino, Kazakhstani, and one Russian.
Well, I think you’re pretty lucky actually. You’ll have the opportunity to learn so much about Asian culture.
I guess so, but I think it’s going to be hard to relate to my classmates, especially with the language barrier. I think I might change classes.
Don’t! Stay the course! Your spoken Chinese will be eternally grateful. I bet you it will even surpass mine with all that practice.
I highly doubt it. Your girlfriend is Chinese.
Well, there is that, yes.  
Toothache 
What seems to be the problem?
I have a really bad toothache! My cheek is swollen and I can’t eat anything.
Let’s have a look. Hmmm. This doesn’t look too good. I think we may have to pull out your wisdom tooth. It’s pressing against your molars and that’s one of the reasons you are experiencing so much pain.
When you pull my tooth will you also have to extract the nerve and the root?
First we will take some x-rays and see what we’re dealing with. I also noticed a small cavity up front here, so you are going to need a filling.
I guess that’s what I get for not flossing or brushing my teeth three times a day.
It could be that, or maybe you are eating too many sweets. In any case, I’ll administer an anesthetic and you won’t feel a thing!  
Pest Control 
Hi, did you call for an exterminator?
Yes! Thank goodness you’re here. These bugs are driving us crazy!
What sort of pest are we dealing with?
We just bought this house and it is infected with just about everything. We have termites in the wood, cockroaches all over the place, and last night I saw a huge rat out in the backyard!
Well, there’s nothing we can’t handle. I’ll spray the floorboards and walls to get rid of the cockroaches, but the termites will be harder to get rid of. We will have to cover the entire house and fumigate it. Unfortunately that means you will have to find a place to stay for the next three days.
No problem, just get rid of the bugs!  
Weather Report 
Those are today’s top stories. Now let’s go to John for the weather. John, what does the forecast look like for our weekend travelers?
I’m afraid we’re in for a rough weekend, Mark. There is a storm system moving through the East Coast. It will be drizzling all day today, and there’s a 60 percent chance of thunderstorms this evening. It will be warm and humid all weekend. In the Midwest, expect strong winds and a low of around 40 degrees.
That’s pretty chilly for the summer! Will it rain on Saturday?
Unfortunately, yes. It will be clear early Saturday morning but there is a high chance of showers and thunderstorms later in the day. There is a severe thunderstorm warning for some parts of the Southeast. Folks in those areas might see some hail and flooding, especially in areas that have been experiencing record high rainfalls.
That certainly sounds like a dreary Saturday.
It gets better on Sunday, though. The storm systems move east and the skies will clear up at night. It will still be rather cool, with highs in the low 50s. The West Coast will be experiencing some unusually chilly weather, but at least the sun will come out. I advise weekend travelers to be careful, especially while driving. Back to you, Mark.
Thanks John, and there you have it! Looks like it’s a weekend to stay at home!  
Making A Bank Transfer 
Good Morning welcome to Bank of the USA. How may I help you today?
Hi I need to transfer some money to another account. It’s urgent.
Okay, have you made a wire transfer at our bank before?
No. I’ve never made a transfer before.
It’s alright, I will take you through the procedure. Are you transferring funds to a company or an individual account?
A company account. I need to pay a bill.
Okay, I’ll need the name of the company and their bank routing number as well as their bank’s address and phone number.
I have all the information in this folder.
Well You’ve come prepared .You have all the necessary materials so we can go ahead and make the transfer right now. It’s a simple transaction, and we can process it today.
Oh, that’s such a relief. I didn’t want the payment to be overdue. Thank you so much.
It’s my pleasure.  
Purchasing Manager 
Good morning, Angela, how have you been lately?
Morning, Michael. I’ve been very busy lately. One of our other vendors is going out of business and I’ve been searching for a suitable replacement.
Well, rest assured that you can count on us to be here for the long run sit down. Coffee?
No, thanks. I’ve been trying to cut down on the caffeine .
Haha, I could never do that. I’d be a zombie if I didn’t have my morning coffee fix. Let’s get down to business then.
Yes. I’ve come to talk with you about ordering the eight megapixel cameras for our new MePhone. The demand for phone cameras is growing, and Pear has been falling behind in the market.
That’s great! I’m glad to hear that Pear has finally jumped on the bandwagon. Right now our contract is for the five megapixel cameras. Is Pear still interested in having those?
No, we’re changing all the cameras to eight megapixels. We were hoping that by making your company our sole supplier for cameras we could negotiate a better deal.
Surely. Let’s get started by drafting a new contract.  
Marketing Plan 
Okay everyone, let’s begin. I called you here today to evaluate our marketing strategy during this recession. I wanted to re-emphasize our corporate mission of Aiming to give our customers the best coffee and service in a clean and welcoming atmosphere.
Several other shops have reduced the prices for their coffees and are drawing in more customers. 
I know that recent sales have been slow, but we are not going to reduce our prices to the level of our competitors. We offer a superior product and our focus is on long-term growth rather than shortterm sales. If we lower our prices, we run the risk of devaluing our product.
Customers don’t care about the coffee anymore. They only care about the price.
I disagree. Highly discerning customers know that our coffee is far better than the coffee you buy at the other places. Our coffee bean are artisan roasted and we use state-of- The-art equipment to brew our coffees. When you compare the coffees side-by-side our coffee wins the taste test every time. We have never sought to appeal to the mass market with cheap coffee drinks, and we will not do so now.
That’s the main question I would like to discuss today.
Money is tight for everyone these days so even our most loyal customers may be reconsidering the money they pay for their morning coffee. Since the superiority of our coffee beans is one of our core competencies why don’t we sell the beans for people to brew coffee at home.
Let’s brainstorm some more ideas, and do some research. The customer always comes first, and what the customer wants, the customer gets. Maybe it’s time we started selling coffee beans.  
Buying A Suit 
Hello sir, what can I do for you today?
Hi, I need a new suit. I have an important interview next week, so I really need to look sharp.
No problem! We have a broad selection of suits, all tailored made so that it will fit perfectly.
Great! I want a three piece suit, preferably made from Italian cashmere or wool.
Very well sir. Would you like to have some shirts made also?
Sure. I’ll also take some silver cuff link and a pair of silk ties.
Very good. Now, if you will accompany me, we can take your measurements and choose the patterns for your suit and shirts.  
Presentation Series 1 - The Overview and the Agenda 
Hi everyone, Can everyone hear me?Can you guys at the back hear everything?
Okay great. Well I think all of you know why we are here this afternoon. As most of you are aware 2010 marks an important moment for Alpha computers.
We have bounced back from the recession and now we are set to launch our new line of laptop and desktop computers.
I’m really pleased to welcome Michael Ford, the Global Marketing Manager for Alpha computers, who has flown in from California to give all of you an overview of the marketing campaign and to answer any questions you may have. So please give a warm welcome to Mr. Ford.
Thank you Jonathan. It really is a pleasure to be here today. It has been three years since I visited Beijing ,and it’s clear to me that operations here are obviously going from strength to strength.
The Alpha brand continues to grow in leaps and bounds in China, and that is certainly down to the hard work of all of you here. So congratulations to all of you.
I’d like to start by outlining the key points of my presentation this afternoon and giving you an idea of the topics that will be discussed. The presentation today is divided into five main parts.
First of all, I’d like to briefly touch on the background of the new x420 line; how the whole concept has come about and how the new product fits into our existing brand line.
Secondly I’dlike to present data on projected sales for the x420. We will then go on to discuss our key rivals in this sector. Then I would like to go on to outline the campaign concept for the x420.
Finally I’m happy to open up the discussion for any questions or points you might have for me.  
Getting A Nanny 
The Zodiac and Horoscopes 
Presentation Series 2 - Talking about numbers, charts and graphs    
Kitchen Appliances 
I have been looking at this online catalog for over an hour and I still haven’t finished getting all the kitchen appliances that we need!
What are you getting?
Well, the first thing on my list is a new blender. I decided to also get a juicer and a new coffee maker.
Don’t forget to also get a new mixer. I lent the old one to my brother and he broke it.
Yeah I know. I also decided to throw away the old toaster and get a new one. I am also getting a rice cooker and steamer to make some nice steamed fish or veggies.
I’m actually thinking of completely refurnishing the kitchen and getting a new stove, oven, dishwasher and trash compacter.
That’s a good idea ! The kitchen will look amazing!   
Telephone Services 
Telco Mobile, how can I help you?
Yes, I’d like to activate my voice mail service please.
Certainly sir, we currently have a special promotion where we include voice mail services, call waiting and also three way calling.
Sure that sounds great! Are there any other fees?
Not at all. No hidden fees or surcharges, it is a flat monthly rate.
Perfect. I also wanted to know if there is any call forwarding service? I am usually out of town and would like my calls to be forwarded to a local number.
Yes of course. We can activate all these services in about an hour.  
Presentation Series 3 - Making Comparisons    
At The Car Dealership 
Hi there! I am looking for a new car. I have this old Ford Pinto that I would like to trade in.
I see. You are in luck this month because all of our models are on sale! it is a perfect time to buy a new car since it’s the end of the year,
Perfect! I like this one.
That is the Ford Focus. A very light but powerful vehicle. It comes with dual side airbags, power steering and power windows, tinted windows and your choice of either automatic or manual transmission.
Sounds like a good car! How many miles to the gallon?
It is a very fuel efficient vehicle giving you about 34 miles in the city and 40 on the highway.
That is really convenient. Especially now that fuel prices are so high! What’s under the hood?
A very powerful 2.5-liter turbocharged engine, Trust me, this car is fast!
Now for the most difficult question. What is the price tag for this lovely vehicle?
Very affordable sir. You can take it out of this lot today with 0% down payment and no interest for the first year! You can test drive it now and we can sign the papers when we get back.
Great! Let’s do it!  
Drugs 
Hey man, you wanna buy some weed?
Some what?
Weed! You know? Pot, Ganja, Mary Jane some chronic!
Oh, umm, no thanks.
I also have blow if you prefer to do a few lines.
No, I am ok, really.
Come on man! I even got dope and acid! Try some!
Do you really have all of these drugs? Where do you get them from?
I got my connections! Just tell me what you want and I’ll even give you one ounce for free.
Sounds good! Let’s see, I want.
Yeah?
I want you to put your hands behind your head! You are under arrest!  
Presentation Series 4 - Discussing the Competition    
Breaking Up 
Physics    
Presentation Series 5 - Deferring Questions    
Tune Up 
Welcome to Al’s Garage. What seems to be the problem?
No problem at all! I am taking a long road trip and I want to make sure my car is in good mechanical condition.
Very wise decision. When was the last time you had a tune up?
Not that long ago, I think it was four months ago.
We usually recommend that you bring your car in every five thousand kilometers.
Why? I mean, what exactly do you do to a car that you need to check it so often?
First of all, we change the motor oil and oil filter. If you don’t do this, it can cause your engine to wear faster and that means you would probably have to change the pistons and intake valves.
I see. What else?
We also check your spark plugs, fuel filter, and other oil levels such as hydraulic fluid. We also check the clutch and brakes to determine when you will need new ones.
Ok, well, when you put it that way, it doesn’t seem like a waste of time and money.
Trust me, regular tune ups will keep your car running smoothly and avoid break downs.  
Handyman 
The air conditioning is not working! We need to call a handyman before we start to fry in here!
Dan is on top of that. I think they are also getting the handyman to fix the bathroom toilet that keeps clogging up.
That would be convenient. They might as well ask him to fix the electrical wiring. The circuit breakers keep going out all the time. It’s really annoying!
Yeah you are right. This office is falling apart! Frank told me the other day that the gutters outside were clogged and that’s why the parking lot was flooded.
I know! I was in ankle deep water trying to get to my car that day! The handyman definitely has his work cut out for him.  
Presentation Series 6 - Addressing the Audience    
High School Reunion 
I hate coming to high school reunions.
It will be great honey. We will get to see your old classmates and catch up to see how they have been doing.
Yeah I guess so. Oh look! There is Robert Matthews! Rob!
Likewise! It’s been a long time! This is my wife Dorthy.
Can’t complain! We have 2 children who are in college and my business is going well. What about you?
That’s good. Have you seen Frank? I was hoping he would come tonight.
Are you serious?
Getting A Tattoo 
I have made up my mind. I am getting a tattoo.
Really? Are you sure?
Yeah! Why not? They are trendy and look great! I want to get a dragon on my arm or maybe a tiger on my back.
Yeah but, it is something that you will have forever! They use indelible ink that can only be removed with laser treatment. On top of all that, I have heard it hurts a lot!
Really?
Of course! They use this machine with a needle that pokes your skin and inserts the ink.
Oh, I didn’t know that! I thought they just paint it on your skin or something.
I think you should reconsider and do some more research about tattoos. Also, find out where the nearest tattoo parlor is and make sure they used sterilized needles, and that the place is hygienic.
Maybe I should just get a tongue piercing!  
Presentation Series 7 - Handling Technical Problems    
Buying Jewelery    
Ordering Chinese Food 
Presentation Series 8 - Common Presentation Mistakes    
Cheese Lovers 
Hello everyone my name is Laurie and I want to welcome you to this course. We will learn all about one of the oldest yet most delicious foods on this planet; cheese! Let’s get started!
Cheese is usually categorized intofour
Soft cheese includes cottage cheese, cream cheese, ricotta, brie, bleu, roquefort, mozzarella, meunster and similar cheeses. These cheeses generally pair well with fruit or meats, or can be used as breakfast cheeses in an omelette Nor as pasta fillings. They are usually mildly flavored and very high in moisture.
American, Colby, co-jack and similar cheeses are inthe semi-soft category. These are slightly stronger in flavor and cover a wide range of uses. Co-jack cheese, a blend of Colby and Monterrey jack is one of the most popular. This allows the sharper flavor of Colby to be combined with the milder jack cheese, and also melts better than plain Colby. Grilled cheese sandwiches often use American cheese, and Mexican cheeses such as Asadero and Queso Fresco are becoming more popular.
Hard cheeses include Parmesan, Romano, Asiago, Swiss, Gruyere and others. Parmesan and Romano are most familiar as the grated powder used to top spaghetti, but they are also used as accompaniments for fruit, wine, nuts and other appetizer items. Swiss is a popular sandwich cheese and melts well, unlike some other hard cheeses.  
Picking A University 
I’ve never heard of AmLion College. Could you...
Of course sir, let me give you a brief overview. AmLion College is located in the center of New York city. The school covers a wide range of academic subjects; and eighty percent of the courses are transferable to other state universities. And, last year AmLion College was ranked number one in terms of graduate employment.
Interesting, and what about the tuition fees, then?
You’ll be looking at somewhere around fifteen thousand US dollars per semester.
Okay, well.
And, did I mention our on-campus housing? Students can stay in our newly renovated dorms for as little as three thousand dollars per month!
Sounds good. Well. I’ll just grab one of your flyers.
Sir, you got the wrong flyer. Sir, sir!  
Presentation Series 9 - Summary and Conclusion    
Vegan Or Vegetarian? 
Hey Julie, you want to go grab something to eat?
Sure! What do you feel like having?
I really feel like having a big juicy steak!
Oh. ok. I don’t eat meat, but that’s fine, I am sure wherever we are going they will have other options right?
I didn’t know you were a vegetarian!
I’m not, I am a vegan.
A what?
A vegan. I don’t eat or use any animal based products. I don’t wear leather, eat eggs, drink milk or anything that comes from an animal. I used to be a pescatarian before, which basically means you don’t eat meat, but still have fish and seafood.
Wow! That’s interesting! It must be tough!
It’s a bit difficult to find vegetarian friendly restaurants sometimes, but since more and more people are vegetarians or vegans nowadays, it’s getting a bit less difficult.  
Ordering At An Italian Restaurant  
Good evening ladies. My name is Josh and I’ll be your server tonight. May I take your order?
Do you have any recommendations?
Well, I personally like the chicken penne with cream mushroom sauce, but the prawn fettuccine is also very nice.
Hmm. I’d like to have the grilled chicken, but can I have spaghetti instead of penne?
Of course, mam. And for you?
Presentation Series 10 - The Q and A Session 
Returning A Product 
Hi I would like to return this TV.
Sure, do you have the receipt?
Yeah here you go. Actually I also want to return this keyboard.
Ok, may I ask what is the reason for returning these products?
I see, and what about the keyboard?
I spilled some coffee on it and now it won’t work.
I am sorry sir, but we can only exchange or refund defective products, we cannot take responsibility for misuse or damages.
Fine! I don’t know why they make these things so delicate anyways.  
Online Dating 
Do you want to hang out tomorrow?
Oh, I can’t. I have a date!
Really? Wow with who?
This girl I’ve been chatting with forthe past couple of months. She’s really cool and she’s driving over here this weekend.
Wait a minute, you mean you met her online?
Yeah! I signed up for a website called match. and it is great! You fill in all your details and preferences, like if you are a smoker or if you have any pets. Then you find people that have similar characteristics and you can email them or chat.
That is kind of weird! What if she is a psycho or something like that?
It’s the same as meeting people anywhere and dating them! I am just tired of going to bars or being set up for dates by my friends! I think this is a really cool alternative, especially if you are a bit shy.
I guess it does seem logical. I’ll have to check it out!  
Vampires 
You want to go tothe movies tonight?
Sure! What’s playing?
The new Twilight movie!
Twilight? As inthe vampire movies? No way I am watching that. I don’t understand why everyone isso excited about these films about vampires. It doesn’t make sense.
Of course it does. It’s like a modern tale of Romeo and Juliet. You have a couple that is in love but can’t be together because they are so different. Add in the fact that immortality and super human strengthis really sexy and there you have it! Plus the cast is hip, young people that make the movie even more enticing.
I don’t buy into that. I think it’s just a fad. Pretty soon this will pass and everyone will be into werewolves or zombies!  
Phobias 
Are you excited about your trip next month?
Yes and no. I can’t wait to go to Europe, but at the same time I am terrified.
Why?
Well, I have aerophobia. I have a chronic fear of flying.
Oh really? I have an uncle who is also terrified of flying. It’s not that bad though, I mean, it is pretty scary to be in this big machine flying through the air at seven hundred miles per hour. I actually have arachnophobia.
You’re scared of spiders? I actually have two more phobias. Acrophobia and glossophobia.
I guess that explains why you are afraid of flying, but public speaking is not that bad.
Are you kidding? When I get on stage, my palms start to sweat, I get really nervous and I can hardly speak.
Well, I must confess I am a bit claustrophobic. I hate being in an elevator for more than 5 seconds.
We are such weirdos right?  
Mexican Food 
Hello sir, welcome to Pistolera restaurant. May I take your order?
Yes, I would like the chicken cheese enchiladas with a side of guacamole.
I’m sorry sir, but we ran out of chicken. May I suggest our delicious beef burritos or cheese quesadillas? Both include a side of guacamole and jalapenos.
Sure I’ll have the burrito.. Do you have nachos?
Of course sir. Our nachos come with melted cheese and chili.
Sounds good.
Would you like anything to drink?
Sure, I’ll have a Corona.  
Neat Freak 
Ugg, this bathroom is a pigsty!
Helen, why do you keep flushing the toilet? What’s wrong?
I just can’t stand it. It’s really gross in here! There’s a stain on the toilet seat, and the floor was wet and slippery. So I cleaned it!
You did what? Helen, I know it’s gross, but I’ve seen many public washrooms that are much worse. Why are you cleaning the counter top? are you out of your mind?
I can’t help myself; it’s just so disgusting in here!
Helen, this is not like your own bathroom. Just leave it to the cleaners,okay?
Hang on. I’m just gonna quickly wipe the sink and sweep the floor.
You’re such a neat freak! I’m outta here!  
Bowling 
Alright, so the first thing that you need to know about bowling is that you should never cross that line where the lane begins.
Why not?
Because they polish and oil it to make the ball slide down. If you step there you will slip and fall.
OK, so I got my bowling shoes, my ball, our names on the scorecard, so now, how the heck do I play this?
You throw the ball down the lane and try to knock down all the pins. If you do, that is called a strike. If you don’t knock them all down on the first try, then you get a chance to get the spare. After ten frames, we add up the points and see who has the most. Three hundred is a perfect score, but very hard to get.
Got it! OK, I’m gonna give it a go. Oh no! My ball went in the gutter!
I told you, its harder than you think. Now let a pro show you how it’s done.  
Pick Up Lines 
Let’s got out tomorrow night. We can go to a bar and try to find you a girlfriend.
I don’t think that’s a good idea. I am just not good with approaching someone and starting up a conversation.
Maybe you just need a few pick up lines,you know, break the ice.
Pick up lines don’t work!
Come on! You can just walk up to a girl and say: “If you were a booger I’d pick you first.”
What? Come on! That’s just lame! No girl would fall for that!
Fine, then you can say: “So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!”
That’s a good one! I think that’s pretty funny.
Yeah, so you make her laugh, you make a fool of yourself a little bit and then you buy her a drink.
Ok, how does this sound: “I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”
Nice! Let’s go!  
Small Talk 1 - Showing Interest 
Boxers and Briefs 
Lily, I found a pair of men’s boxers in the laundry machine this morning!
What?! That’s weird. Are they your boyfriend’s?
Nah, Kevin only wears briefs. Plus, this pair is extra small!
What do they look like?
They’re light blue with thin pink stripes... Oh, and there’s a Snoopy on it which is hilarious, hahah...
Those are my undies!  
Indian Food 
So where is this mystery restaurant that we are going to?
It’s an Indian restaurant! I know you have never had Indian food, so I thought you might want to try.
That sounds great! I am craving some type of beef dish.
Well, Indian cuisine actually doesn’t serve beef. You see, cows are a sacred animal, a very important element inthe Hindu religion, so beef is not eaten.
I see, so what are we having? Chicken?
There are many amazing dishes to choose from. We can havesome chicken tikka masalawhich is an amazing curry. It’s a bit spicy, but I think you can handle it.
Sounds good! I have always heard that Indian spices give a rich flavor to food.
Yeah. Also, we can have some Naan bread which is baked in a tandoori oven. Since you don’t use any utensils to eat, you can use this bread to scoop upthe curry or rice.
What about veggies?
They have a good variety of vegetable based dishes like palak paneer, vegetable samosas or Daal.
It all sounds exquisite! I can’t wait!  
Small Talk 2 
Sorry I’m Late    
Ordering Drinks 
What Can I get you?
I’ll have a Cosmo please.
What are you talking about? It’s a good drink!
Fine! I’ll have a sex on the beach.
Come on! It’s delicious! Especially when served in a pineapple or coconut.
That’s strong! This is going to get me wasted!
Small talk 3 
Making A Collect Call 
This is the operator, how may I help you?
Yes, I would like to make a collect call.
Ok sir, please dial the number. Now please state your name.
Tommy.
Please wait a moment. Hello, you have a collect call from Tommy. Would you like to accept the charges?
Dad?
Yeah dad everything is ok. I’m calling you because I want to know if it’s ok for me to go to my friend’s house today after school.
I ran out of credit and I also didn’t have twenty five cents N forthe payphone. Sorry dad.  
Sending A Quote Via Email 
Small Talk 4 - Discussing Recent Workevents 
First Paycheck 
Allergies 
Small Talk 5 - Brief Talk With A Stranger    
Taking The GMAT 
Thai Food 
What did you cook?
Well, as you know I was in Thailand last month,and I took a cooking class! So I prepared some ofmy favorite dishes.
Great idea! As long as I don’t get food poisoning!So what is onthe menu tonight?
Ok, for starters we have Tom Yam soup. It’s a bit spicy, but really good!
This is delicious! The ginger and lemongrass really gives it a nice taste!
Now this next dish is one of the most famous. Foreignerscall it papaya salad butthe proper name is Tom Sam. It is a spicy salad made from a mix of fresh vegetables including shredded unripened papaya and tomato.
This is delicious! The combination of sour and spicy is really interesting! I could have this everyday!
Ok, now forthe last and best dish in my opinion. This is called Pad Thai. It’s stir-fried noodles with eggs, fish sauce, tamarind juice, red chili pepper plus bean sprouts, shrimp and tofu and garnished with crushed peanuts and coriander. It’s practically Thailand’s national dish!
Wow, this is great! I never knew Thai food was so creative and delicious!
Wantsome more?
I’m stuffed!  
Small Talk 6 - Talking About Yourself 
Cancelled Flight 
Good afternoon Sir, may I please see your passport and reservation?
Here you go.
I’m sorry sir, this flight has been cancelled due to some mechanical problems.
Cancelled! So what am I supposed to do now?
We apologize for any inconveniences that may be caused by this. If your flight is urgent, I can put you on a waiting list for another flight this evening, but it’s on a first come first served basis, so there is no guarantee that you will be able to take that flight.
What’s my other option?
If you can wait until tomorrow, we will put youup in a hotel for today and you can take scheduled flight for tomorrow morning.
That’s fine. I’ll do that then.
Thank you for your understanding sir. I will book your flight now.  
Thanksgiving Dinner 
So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Not much really. It’s more of an American tradition, so back home we don’t really celebrate it. In fact, I am not even sure of what exactly is being celebrated!
Well you know, it’s a time to get together with all your family and be thankful for everything!
Yeah but, how did this holiday come to be?
Well, the first settlers of Massachusetts arrived there because of religious persecution from England and King James. Once inthe New World, they befriended an native named Squanto, who taught them how to harvest food from the area such as corn.
Interesting! I am amazed how big and delicious thanksgiving dinners are!
Come to my house for Thanksgiving! We are having turkey, pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes with gravy, and lots of stuffing!
Count me in!  
Small Talk 7 - Talking About A Trip 
Report Card 
Look, Jimmy’s report came today.
Let’s have a look. What is this? Where are all the grades?
He’s in the third grade Sam! You see under each subject that he is being taught in school, he receives a mark from one to three. A one means his achievement or work is excellent. Here in Science for example he got a two, which means its satisfactory.
What about here in physical education?
He got a three here which means it’s unsatisfactory. We should work on that with him.
So confusing! In my day we got an A or B if we were doing well and if we failed an exam we would get an F!  
Buying A Pair Of Jeans 
Excuse me, can I try on this pair of jeans?
Sure. Let me see... I’m afraid we don’t have any size eights left.
What are you talking about? I’m always a size four. Here, I’ll try these.
They seem a bit too tight. Shall I find you a larger size?
No, they fit fine! They show off my curves perfectly!
Yeah, your love handles. Yeah, they sure do, although... here, you forgot to close this button.
Yeah right, I’ll do it now...  
Small Talk 8 - Talking About Work   
Going To The Bakery 
Welcome to Al’s Bakery. What can I get you?
Hi! Let me get a dozen croissants, four blueberry muffins and a loaf of sourdough bread.
No, that’s OK. Do you have any whole wheat bread?
We are out at the moment. May I suggest some rye bread?
Sure that sounds good. Do you have any cakes?
We have various birthday cakes and also ice cream cakes.
I’ll just take a cheesecake.
Will that be all?
Yes.
Your total is forty three dollars and twenty cents.  
Fortune Telling 
Look at this newspaper article about this famous local medium. It says that she is really gifted and so popular now, that she is booked solid with appointments for the next twelve months!
You don’t really believe in all that hocus pocus 
Well I have had many friends that went to a psychic and got their palms read and most of the things the psychic told her came true!
Of course it does! They tell you general and obvious things like that you will be successful or have a big house. I think most of the times they are just scam artists.
Well historically it is a practice that many cultures share. Reading the tarot cards, in the east they would even read tea leaves! I even heard that there are people that make you smoke a cigar, and then read your ashes.
All superstitious nonsense! I would still like to go to one and see what he or she has to say, just for kicks.
Great! I’ll make an appointment!   
Small Talk 9 - Talking About The Weather 
Setting Up Your Voice mail Message 
Can you help me set up my voicemail message? I just got this service and I am not really sure what I am supposed to say.
Sure! You just basically gotta let the caller know who they called, and ask them for their contact information so you can call them back.
Ok, so can I say, “This is Abby’s voicemail. I will call you later, so leave me your name and number”.
That’s more or less the idea, but try something that sounds more friendly.
Ok, so how about this, “This is Abby and I am really happy you called! I promise I will give you a ring as soon as I can, so please leave me your name and number. Talk to you soon!”.
A little too friendly Abby. Just say this, “Hi, you have reached Abby. I am unable to answer your call right now, but if you leave me your name and phone number, I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks”.
That’s perfect! Can you say that again and record it for me? 
Human Anatmoy 
OK class, so today we are going to continue with our anatomy class, today we will review everything we have learned. Can anyone tell me what the first major organ is?
The brain!
That’s right the brain! It serves as a control center for the body, handling the processes of the central nervous system as well as cognition. Then what major organ is in our chest?
The heart!
Very good! It pumps blood throughout the body, using the circulatory system such as blood vessels and veins. Now let’s not forget that our lungs provide oxygen to our heart and body to keep us alive! Now what about the organs that help us digest food?
The stomach and intestines!
Very good! Let’s not forget that the stomach is the one that breaks down our food and our intestines process that food and then expel the waste. Are we forgetting anything?
Yeah! Our kidneys, liver and bladder!
Oh yes, you are right. Very important organs indeed.
So what do these organs do teacher?
Well, ummm, they... Time for a break! We can talk about it when you get back. 
Small Talk 10 - General Talk  
Going To The Playground 
Hey honey! Where were you?
I decided to take Kenny to the park and get some fresh air.
How was it? Were there a lot of kids?
It wasn’t too crowded, but we had a great time! We got on the see-saw together, the went on a couple of different slides and then I tried to go with him in the jungle gym, but I didn’t fit.
Sounds like fun! When we go he always just likes to play in the sandbox.
Yeah, but today he was really hyper. He even got on the monkey bars and then he went on to go on the swings for a half hour. I’m exhausted!
You should go to the park more often since you don’t go to the gym anymore! 
Christmas Traditions 
What are you doing awake?
I can’t sleep...
But it’s almost midnight!
Exactly. I’m too excited for Christmas morning. Also, I thought I heard Santa.
Really? How do you know it was Santa?
Well I heard that naughty boys and girls get coal in their stockings, so I thought I’d be nice and make Santa cookies. I even left out some milk. I heard someone in the kitchen eating the cookies, so I came downstairs!
Hmm... well I know that Santa won’t come down the chimney with you hiding behind the tree, spying on him!
Really?
Really! Let’s go back upstairs and get back to bed. That way, we can let Santa do his job. Then when you wake up, it will be Christmas already!
OK...
Hey, honey! Is that you? Don’t eat all the cookies - I want some, too! 
The Night Before Christmas  
Having Leftovers 
What’s for dinner?
Leftovers.
What? Leftovers of what and from when?
From last night! I took the left over turkey, mixed it with some diced peppers and onions, added a little bit of mayonnaise and made some sandwiches!
Isn’t that dangerous though? I mean bacteria and germs reproducing on food that was left out or reheated?
Well, I didn’t leave the turkey out at room temperature for more than an hour and I refrigerated it soon after we finished eating. Also, when reheating, I put it in the oven for fifteen minutes at one hundred degrees Celsius.
Well ok, I am just afraid of getting food poisoning.
Don’t worry about it! Making a new meal out of leftovers is almost an art! Not only do you save money, but you also get to be creative and have something different to eat! 
Parent Teacher Conference 
Thank you for coming tonight Mrs. Webber. As a teacher, it’s great seeing the kid’s parents assist our parent-teacher conference night.
Of course! I am very interested to know how my child is doing and also get some insight from you as to how he can improve.
Well Allen is a great student. He is a hard worker and very well behaved, however he does struggle a bit with math.
I guess he gets that from me, I never did well in math when I was a kid. What can I do at home to compliment what he is learning in the classroom.
Well, it’s important that you sit with him and review his homework assignments and help him with math. I would also recommend he stay after school twice a week for tutoring sessions. It will really help a lot.
Thanks a lot! I will definitely do that. Is there anything else?
Um.. yes. Here is a notice from our financial department, seems your child’s tution is overdue.
Oh yes, I....
Happy New Year! 
I know it’s so exciting! A new year is always like a clean slate.
Do you have a New Year’s resolution?
I was thinking about it, but I’m never able to keep my New Year’s resolution. Last year for example I joined a gym and only went twice.
Yeah I know what you mean. That’s why this year I am keeping things more simple. Maybe like getting together with friends I haven’t seen in a long time, or doing some volunteering work.
That seems reasonable. We should get together and watch the ball drop in Times Square.
Sure, as long as you don’t try to kiss me at midnight!
Well, we can’t break tradition! It’s bad luck! 
Baking A Cake 
Ok, so are you ready to learn how to bake a cake?
Almost, let me just put my apron on.
Ok, so the first thing we are going to do is preheat the oven, that way we have it at the desired temperature once we finish preparing everything. Set it to three hundred and seventy five degrees Fahrenheit.
Got it.
No we are gonna make the batter. Take some butter and sugar and mix it lightly until you have a nice consistency. Then add some vanilla extract and eggs and continue mixing.
Do I have to use a whisk or can I use the electric mixer?
Go ahead and use the mixer, but put it on medium speed. I’m gonna sift the flour and baking powder separately and then we can mix it with milk and the rest of the ingredients.
Ok, so now we need a baking pan right?
Yeah, but grease and flour it first so the cake won’t stick to it when it bakes.
Done. So how long do we bake it for?
We can leave it in there for about twenty five minutes. Then we let it cool for ten minutes before we remove the cake from the pan.
Wow! This was a lot easier than I thought! 
At The Library 
Wow! Look at all these books! I bet I can find a book about anything here!
Shhh!! Please keep your voice down. There are people reading and studying here.
Ok, I’m sorry. Are you the librarian? Maybe you can help me, I am looking for a book.
Yes I am. You can check our online catalog to search the book you want based on the genre, title or if you know the author, I can point you towards the right direction.
I am looking for a book that has nursery rhymes.
That would be in our children’s section. That book shelf there on the right.
Ok, I would like to check out these books.
Do you have a library card?
No. How do I get one?
I just need to see your drivers license or utility bill to prove that you a resident of this state.
Here you go.
So you are all set. You can have these books for two weeks. If you need to have them longer, you can bring them here to renew them. If you don’t, you get charged ten cents a day for each book.
Ok, thanks! 
Seafood Dinner 
This is such a nice restaurant! I feel so classy!
Yeah, it’s a little bit pricey, but they serve the best seafood in town.
Yes, I would like some marinated grilled shrimp for starters and I’ll also have the lobster.
I would like the baked oysters and the seafood platter.
That seafood platter sounds good. Excuse me, what does the platter have?
That sounds great! Cancel the lobster and give me one of the same please.
Can we get a bottle of your house white wine please?
Booking A Hotel Room 
Madison Suites, how may I help you?
Yes, I’m calling from Mexico. I will be in town next week and would like to know if you have availability.
OK ma’am, can you tell me the date you expect to check in?
Yes, July ninth. I will be there for seven nights.
We have a junior single suite or a superior double suite available for those dates.
What’s the difference?
The junior suite is smaller and has one twin bed, while the superior suite has a double bed and mini-bar.
OK, I would like to reserve the superior suite. Is breakfast included?
Yes, a buffet breakfast is served every morning. I will need your name and your credit card details in order to complete the reservation.
Sure, my credit card number is... 
Working Out 
Do you want to go catch a movie tonight?
I can’t, I have to go tothe gym.
Come on! You can go tomorrow, just skip it today. It’s not as if you are gonna get in trouble!
Actually I will! I am working out with a personal trainer that gets on my case if I don’t go. I like it, because it makes me feel more obligated to go and get healthy.
That’s cool, does your personal trainer basically teach you how to work out?
Yeah. He makes a work put plan depending on the areas I want to work on, or the muscles I want to build. Like for example in order to get better muscle tone in my abs, pecs and biceps, he makes me work out with free weights. Then for my quads, calves and hamstrings, I do leg lifts or squats.
Sounds like you are really getting in shape! 
All About Wines 
Immigration and Customs 
Good afternoon, passport and arrival card please.
Here you are.
Where are you coming from?
China.
Is this your country of birth or residence.
I just work there.
What is the purpose of your visit to the United States?
I’m here on vacation.
How long do you plan to stay in the United States?
Almost three weeks.
Sir, you didn’t fill out the information on your arrival card of where you will be staying.
Oh, I’m sorry, but there are a couple of different places I will travel to within the United States, so I wasn’t sure what to put.
You must specify an address of the place where you will spend most of your time.
Ok, here you are.
Do you have enough means to support yourself while you are here?
Yes. I have some travellers cheques and two credit cards.
Very good. Do you have anything to declare?
Nope. I only have my clothes and camera!
Very well sir, welcome to the United States, enjoy your visit. 
Talking About Skincare 
You want to go get a facial with me today?
Dude, what are you talking about? Only girls do that.
Not at all, guys also get facials, manicures and pedicures. There is nothing wrong with looking after your skin and looking good.
True. So what do they do to you at your beauty spa?
Well, first they exfoliate my face, getting rid of all the dead skin. Then I get a face mask with nutrients that keep my skin healthy and young. Afterwards, they apply some moisturizer and you leave feeling like a million bucks.
That doesn’t really sound like something I would be interested in. In any case, I just wash my face every night and use sunscreen during the day.
Well you should come with me one day, I’m sure you’ll love it.
Uh... no. 
Chinese Medicine 
What’s wrong?
I have a headache. These past few days I’ve been living off painkillers. Man, I feel like my head is going to explode.
You should get acupuncture treatment. My mom was always having headache issues and it was acupuncture that cured her.
The results are too slow. On top of that, just the thought of smoking needles poking into my flesh frightens me.
They don’t just randomly stick you, they find your pressure points. The heat allows the body to immediately respond to the treatment, restoring the body’s ”chi”.
But I get scared the moment I see a needle. How could I stand having needles in my body for hours on end?
The needles are very thin, and as long as the doctor’s technique is good, and the patient himself is relaxed, it won’t hurt–on the contrary it will actually alleviate pain. Now there are high-tech needles that are micro thin; they don’t hurt at all. However, if you are really scared of acupuncture, scraping or cupping are also options.
Scraping is too terrifying. When they finish scrapping, your body is all red, as if you were just tortured. Cupping is the same, your body ends up with red circles all over it–looks like someone beat you up.
This only signifies that the toxins have left the body. Actually, there is only discomfort during the treatment process. Once it’s over you feel very comfortable.
Chinese medicine is strange. The patients are already ill, and then the doctor makes them suffer more.
This is the only way to get at the problem. Anyway, if you want to relieve the pain, You are just going to have to be tough and do it.
Forget it. I don’t want to inflict any more pain on myself. In a little while I’ll go and buy some more painkillers and take a nap. 
Talking About Relatives 
What are you doing this weekend?
My brother in law is having a small get together at his house and he invited me.
Is it a family thing or just friends?
A bit of both. Some cousins, aunts and uncles will be there, but also some friends from the neighborhood.
Is your great uncle Rick going to be there? He is really funny.
Yeah he is going to be there with his step-son and his ex-wife.
You mean your sister?
No, Rick is actually my great uncle, so he is my grandmother’s brother.
You lost me.
I’ll explain later, let’s go. 
Vaccinations 
Hello Mrs. Parker, how have you been?
Hello Dr. Peters. Just fine thank you. Ricky and I are here for his vaccines.
Very well. Let’s see, according to his vaccination record, Ricky has received his Polio, Tetanus and Hepatitis B shots. He is 14 months old, so he is due for Hepatitis A, Chickenpox and Measles shots.
What about Rubella and Mumps?
Well, I can only give him these for now, and after a couple of weeks I can administer the rest.
Ok great. Doctor, I think I also may need a Tetanus booster. Last time I got it was maybe fifteen years ago!
We will check our records and I’ll have the nurse administer the booster as well. Now, please hold 
The 7 Wonders Of The World 
Have you seen this news article? Apparently an organization has made a list to name the new seven wonders of the world and people could vote for them online.
Wow, that’s really interesting. So who won?
Well, the Great Wall of China, the Taj Mahal in India.
I’ve been there! It really is an amazing work of architecture and art. The entire complex is made of white marble and in the interior of the tomb, the walls are covered with gems and emeralds!
Cool! Also amongst the winners is Petra, in Jordan, Machu Picchu in Peru and the pyramid in Chichenitza in Mexico.
Wait a minute! It also says that the Christ Redeemer statue in Brazil and the Colosseum in Rome are wonders. I would love to go to Italy and see the Colosseum, stand in the middle like a gladiator!
Well, let’s see if we can find some cheap airfare and we can go towards the end of the year.
Good idea! 
College Life 
Hey, Jordan, is that you? Long time no see!
Oh, hey, no kidding! I haven’t seen you since orientation three months ago! So how’ve you been? Settling into college life OK?
Yeah, I think so! I pledged Phi Iota Alpha, so I’m living at the frat house now.
Oh, so you’re a frat boy now, huh?
Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s totally clich ´ e, but really, I think it’s been a good decision. I’ve got a lot of support and good suggestions from the guys. What about you? What have you been up to?
Not much. I’m still living at home and commuting to school. I ended up dropping that metalworking class I was so excited about. It just wasn’t as interesting as I’d hoped. The guidance counselor suggested that I focus on my prerequisite courses so that I can make sure the credits count.
That sounds smart. . . but kind of boring.
Yeah, it is, a little bit. I joined the Great Outdoors Club, though, which has been a lot of fun. We’ve gone on two camping trips already, and I’ve made some good friends.
That’s cool. Hey, so have you decided on your major yet?
Definitely pre-med. What about you?
I still have no clue. . . but we don’t have to declare a major ‘til our sophomore year, so I’ve got time! Oops, I’m late for class. Gotta run!
OK, take care! Hey, nice running into you!
Yeah, you too! 
Homeschooling 
I think we should home school our children when we decide to have kids.
What? Why?
Well, our public schools here are not very good and private school are just too expensive. I have been reading up on home schooling and it has a lot of advantages.
Like what? I think that by doing something like that we would be isolating our children from social interaction.
Well, first of all, I would be able to teach them everything they learn in school in a more relaxed and fun way. I also think that having a one-on-one class is much better since you can focus more on his or her strengths or weaknesses.
I think neither your parents or mine would agree to such an idea.
I will bring it up over Sunday brunch.
Good luck with that! 
Lending Money 
Can I borrow five bucks?
No!
Come on! I’ll pay you back on Tuesday.
Last time I lent you money, you never paid me back.
I promise if you lend me five dollars today, I will repay you in full next week.
Ok, but I’m taking your skateboard as collateral.
Fine! I can’t believe you don’t trust me.
It’s nothing personal, just business. 
Coins and Money 
Help me organize these coins.
That’s a lot of money! What did you do? Break the piggy bank?
Yeah, I’m gonna go to the bank and change it for bills, but first I have to separate them into little piles.
Ok, I’ll find all the quarters and dimes while you sort the nickels and pennies.
Great, then we can add everything up and take it to the bank.
I found some coins that are not from here.
Oh yeah, those are from my trip to London. I have 
Are you sure the bank will change these coins for you?
Hopefully! 
Making A Dinner Reservation 
Bruno Bistro, how may I help you?
Yes hello, I would like to make a reservation please.
Certainly sir, For which day and time please?
Tonight at seven.
I’m sorry sir, but we are fully booked tonight until eight.
In that case, eight o’clock is fine.
Very well, and how many people will attend tonight?
Four people.
Lastly, may I please know what name I should make the reservation under?
Mark. 
Text Me 
Why didn’t you text me last night?
What? I sent you three or four messages!
I didn’t get any of them. I was waiting for you to text me the address of where the party was and I never got your message.
Why didn’t you just call? I hate sending SMS messages.
Well, because I didn’t have any credit on my phone. I used it all up this month.
I thought you had an unlimited SMS plan?
I do, but if I don’t have any credit in my phone, it won’t let me call or send messages.
No wonder you didn’t get my texts! 
I got an urgent email from Tom! He says he is in London and got robbed and needs us to wire him some money for his hotel.
What? That sounds really dodgy tome.
No way, Tom is an honest person, he wouldn’t lie tome.
No I mean, it seems like someone may have hacked his email account and sent that out. I mean think about it, why would he email you instead of calling you.
Do you really think someone is trying to scam people into sending money?
For sure! There are so many con artists out there, you never really know. 
Urban Legends 
Have you read all these crazy things that are going on around the world?
What do you mean?
I was reading about how some people get tricked or drugged in their hotel rooms and have their organs removed! Then they are sold on the black market.
Don’t tell me you actually believe all that? Don’t be so gullible, they are just urban legends. They are just stories people make up to scare you.
Well, I was also reading about how some popular songs have subliminal or even satanic messages if you play them backwards! Can you believe that?
You really think an artist or songwriter is going to go through the trouble of putting subliminal or satanic messages in a song? Don’t be so naive!
Well maybe you are right, but how about the story of how KFC has rows of headless chickens which are super grown in order to get bigger chickens faster!
Sounds a bit too far fetched to be true don’t you think? 
Fast Food 
I’m hungry, let’s order up something to eat.
Ok, maybe we can order a soup and a salad from the restaurant down the street.
I was thinking of getting a hamburger, fries and a chocolate sundae.
You eat too much junk food. That sort of stuff clogs up your arteries and is very high in cholesterol.
Well I never seem to gain weight so I don’t mind.
It’s not only about getting fat or not, it’s about being healthy. You could really have some health problems later on.
How about pizza or maybe some fried chicken! Better yet, let’s order some hot dogs!
You are a lost cause. 
What Mood Are You In? 
Are you ok? You seem a bit anxious.
Yeah I’m OK, I have been having a lot of mood swings lately. I think it has to do with the pills my doctor prescribed that are causing chaos on my hormones.
So you mean you feel ecstatic one minute and then blue the next?
Yeah, it’s weird. For example just this morning I was feeling detached and lonely, even though there was really no reason to feel that way.
Well, maybe your mood will swing positively and you will feel confident, brave and hopeful!
I hope you are right. 
Living With Your Parents 
Why did your girlfriend break up with you?
I don’t know, she said she was tired of me not manning up and being more independent, which I think is all a bunch of crap.
Well, you still live with your parents, so she does have a point.
What do you mean? Lots of people live with their parents, especially when rent is so expensive and the slump in the economy.
Yeah, but you are almost forty! Plus, you make good money so there is really no excuse. It’s simply because you are a momma’s boy.
Whatever dude, I have everything I need, why would I move out! Have a great roof over my head, my mom does my laundry and cooks for me, what else could a guy ask for!
Let’s agree to disagree. 
Hiring Help 
Can you help me write a newspaper ad?
Sure, what are you looking to buy or sell?
Actually, I want to hire someone to help me around the house.
Oh, you want to get a maid?
Well, I think it’s better if you call her a cleaning lady or domestic help.
Ok, so what do you want her to do?
Well, let’s see. I want her to come in three times a week for a couple of hours to clean the kitchen, bathroom and maybe do some cooking.
Got it. And how much do you offer per month?
I would pay her hourly, I don’t know what the going rate is though.
I know for sure it’s more than minimum wage but maybe you should just negotiate with the person that answers the ad.
Great! Thanks for your help! 
Household Chores 
Kevin, what is this mess? It looks like a pigsty in here! Clean this up!
Ok dad, I will do it in a minute, let me just finish this level of this game.
No, I said now! Plus, you are grounded, you’re not allowed to play video games. I want you to make your bed, do the laundry and then come downstairs and sweep the floors.
That’s so unfair!
You have to pull your weight around here young man. My house, my rules.
But I already mopped the floors, dusted the furniture and vacuumed the rugs!
That’s great, but you still have work to do, so get to it.