diff --git a/src/blog/My dog talks to me.md b/src/blog/My dog talks to me.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..a0bf48cd --- /dev/null +++ b/src/blog/My dog talks to me.md @@ -0,0 +1,39 @@ +--- +aliases: +tags: + - post + - literature +added: November 13, 2024 +link: https://nibirsan.org/blog/p/my-dog-talks-to-me +excerpt: could you really believe this person? +date: 2024-12-06T19:00:17+05:30 +status: done +content-type: blog +--- +Yes, my dog talks to me. And he says things like "aww hell nahhh" and "no, fuck you!". He has been doing this for a couple of months now, and he says mostly these words (I've been counting): fuck (126 times), hell (65), nahh (68), lmao (200), you (178), bruh (54). I can't quite fathom why he says "bruh" the least, even though I say that word a lot. I think I expected him to mimic me or something, I guess I wanted him to be like *me*. I've had Spiegel (that's his name) for 8 years now. And I thought that we had established a connection apart from matching sleep schedules and eating patterns (no I don't eat dog food). But seeing that he doesn't use the word "bruh" as often as I do, makes me feel betrayed, violated and even ashamed! What have I not done for him! What have I not given him! Yet he proceeds to torment me with his poor choice of words! + +Let me tell you about an incident that happened a couple of days ago. I returned from school, and as usual, Spiegel was sleeping on my bed. When I went near to pet him, he growled and said, "Now, why the fuck would you ruin my sleep?" And of course, as you'd expect, I was taken aback! How dare he talk to me like that! But I was too shaken to reply, so I slipped to the other room. + +Now that I think of it, I think he might've had an awful childhood. I mean, we grew together and we fought a lot (the way you'd fight with your brother or sister). He didn't get much formal training *per se*, and picked up traits from the family. That is, shouting, fighting, growling and so on. You can only pick up so many things from a dysfunctional household. + +But how can he speak? And why does he only speak to me? At first I thought I was imagining things, because neither of my parents had witnessed anything. Am I in a simulation? Is is all real? No, I don't ask me that. I mean, I am not too sure... ummm.. I trust my senses... kinda... but... it all seems soo.... surreal... Like something out of a Murakami book... I could rationalise all this and blame it on drugs or shrooms, but I didn't take any! + +So how should I go on about rationalising this? Should I scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ONNN" or should I just come to terms with all of this? Well, if I go on with the first route, I might end up in an asylum, so that is out of the question. Hmm, so I am left with an odd choice of accepting all this ridiculously unbelievable story. Perhaps you and I are on the same page here. NO!!!! I am not raving! You're wrong to accuse me like that! My dog actually talks to me. In fact, let me tell you another incident to make you believe me. + +Alright, so Spiegel hates firecrackers. I think all dogs do. But anyway, there was one time I bought home some of those small firecrackers and started to burst? them with my friends. I can still remember Spiegel's contemptuous eyes on me when I sat at the dinner table. The next day, I found dog shit in my cereal. Yea, no shit, genius, it was Spiegel! It was his revenge! + +--- + +"It was his revenge!" That's how his letter ended. Abruptly. I don't have any reaction to this. He's been like that all his life. Doctor said it's some kind of "complex psychopathological condition", not sure what that means. But I think he's getting more aware of that. + +He's surely creative, don't you think? I mean he doesn't even *have* a dog and he managed to conjure such a story! That's what I like about that boy. He is really good with a pen. I'd even say that he could someday become like that crazy, depressed Czech writer. + +Ooh imagine all the fame! And he's too dumb to care for money! Ooh I must take care of this boy! Imagine all the money I can get out of him if I just become a "good friend"! Heh heh! Now that is a great idea! + +(The so-called friend rushed over to *his* so-called friend's house to see him hanging from the ceiling. He felt sad not for his so-called friend but for the money that he thought he had rights to.) + +--- + +Wait, if you think that the suicide was too abrupt and nonsensical, you're absolutely right! Whoever wrote this story (well, story of a story) is a genuine pain in the ass! He makes such contradictory statements, leaves a lot of loopholes and there's no substance whatsoever! + +I must say you've wasted your time reading this, and so did I. No, I will not console you; I am too angry at the moment. I suggest you find something else to read and forget about this farce. Oh such arrogance! \ No newline at end of file