pirate-speak.js

var dictionary = {
	"address": "port o' call",
	"admin": "helm",
	"am": "be",
	"an": "a",
	"and": "n'",
	"are": "be",
	"award": "prize",
	"bathroom": "head",
	"beer": "grog",
	"before": "afore",
	"belief": "creed",
	"between": "betwixt",
	"big": "vast",
	"bill": "coin",
	"bills": "coins",
	"boss": "admiral",
	"bourbon": "rum",
	"box": "barrel",
	"boy": "lad",
	"buddy": "mate",
	"business": "company",
	"businesses": "companies",
	"calling": "callin'",
	"canada": "Great North",
	"cash": "coin",
	"cat": "parrot",
	"cheat": "hornswaggle",
	"comes": "hails",
	"comments": "yer words",
	"cool": "shipshape",
	"country": "land",
	"dashboard": "shanty",
	"dead": "in Davy Jones's Locker",
	"disconnect": "keelhaul",
	"do": "d'",
	"dog": "parrot",
	"dollar": "doubloon",
	"dollars": "doubloons",
	"dude": "pirate",
	"employee": "crew",
	"everyone": "all hands",
	"eye": "eye-patch",
	"family": "kin",
	"fee": "debt",
	"female": "wench",
	"females": "wenches",
	"food": "grub",
	"for": "fer",
	"friend": "mate",
	"friend": "shipmate",
	"friends": "crew",
	"fuck": "shiver me timbers",
	"gin": "rum",
	"girl": "lass",
	"girls": "lassies",
	"go": "sail",
	"good": "jolly good",
	"grave": "Davy Jones's Locker",
	"group": "maties",
	"gun": "bluderbuss",
	"haha": "yo ho",
	"hahaha": "yo ho ho",
	"hahahaha": "yo ho ho ho",
	"hand": "hook",
	"happy": "grog-filled",
	"hello": "ahoy",
	"hey": "ahoy",
	"hi": "ahoy",
	"hotel": "fleebag inn",
	"i": "me",
	"i'm": "i be",
	"internet": "series o' tubes",
	"invalid": "sunk",
	"is": "be",
	"island": "isle",
	"isn't": "be not",
	"it's": "'tis",
	"jail": "brig",
	"kill": "keelhaul",
	"king": "king",
	"ladies": "lasses",
	"lady": "lass",
	"lawyer": "scurvy land lubber",
	"left": "port",
	"leg": "peg",
	"logout": "walk the plank",
	"lol": "blimey",
	"male": "pirate",
	"man": "pirate",
	"manager": "admiral",
	"money": "doubloons",
	"month": "moon",
	"my": "me",
	"never": "nary",
	"no": "nay",
	"not": "nay",
	"of": "o'",
	"old": "barnacle-covered",
	"omg": "shiver me timbers",
	"over": "o'er",
	"page": "parchment",
	"people": "scallywags",
	"person": "scurvy dog",
	"posted": "tacked to the yardarm",
	"president": "king",
	"prison": "brig",
	"quickly": "smartly",
	"really": "verily",
	"relative": "kin",
	"relatives": "kin",
	"religion": "creed",
	"restaurant": "galley",
	"right": "starboard",
	"rotf": "rollin' on the decks",
	"say": "cry",
	"seconds": "ticks o' tha clock",
	"shipping": "cargo",
	"shit": "shiver me timbers",
	"small": "puny",
	"snack": "grub",
	"soldier": "sailor",
	"sorry": "yarr",
	"spouse": "ball 'n' chain",
	"state": "land",
	"supervisor": "Cap'n",
	"that's": "that be",
	"the": "thar",
	"theif": "swoggler",
	"them": "'em",
	"this": "dis",
	"to": "t'",
	"together": "t'gether",
	"treasure": "booty",
	"vodka": "rum",
	"was": "be",
	"water": "grog",
	"we": "our jolly crew",
	"we're": "we's",
	"whiskey": "rum",
	"whisky": "rum",
	"wine": "grog",
	"with": "wit'",
	"woman": "comely wench",
	"women": "beauties",
	"work": "duty",
	"yah": "aye",
	"yeah": "aye",
	"yes": "aye",
	"you": "ye",
	"you're": "you be",
	"you've": "ye",
	"your": "yer",
	"yup": "aye"
};

function translateWord(word) {
	var pirateWord = dictionary[word.toLowerCase()];
	if (pirateWord === undefined) return word;
	else return applyCase(word, pirateWord);
}

// Take the case from wordA and apply it to wordB
function applyCase(wordA, wordB) {
	// Exception to avoid words like "I" being converted to "ME"
	if (wordA.length === 1 && wordB.length !== 1) return wordB;
	// Uppercase
	if (wordA === wordA.toUpperCase()) return wordB.toUpperCase();
	// Lowercase
	if (wordA === wordA.toLowerCase()) return wordB.toLowerCase();
	// Capitialized
	var firstChar = wordA.slice(0, 1);
	var otherChars = wordA.slice(1);
	if (firstChar === firstChar.toUpperCase() && otherChars === otherChars.toLowerCase()) {
		return wordB.slice(0, 1).toUpperCase() + wordB.slice(1).toLowerCase();
	}
	// Other cases
	return wordB;
};

function isLetter(character) {
	if (character.search(/[a-zA-Z'-]/) === -1) return false;
	return true;
}

module.exports.dictionary = dictionary;

module.exports.translate = function (text) {
	var translatedText = "";

	// Loop through the text, one character at a time.
	var word = "";
	for (var i = 0; i < text.length; i += 1) {
		var character = text[i];
		// If the char is a letter, then we are in the middle of a word, so we
		// should accumulate the letter into the word variable
		if (isLetter(character)) {
			word += character;
		}
		// If the char is not a letter, then we hit the end of a word, so we
		// should translate the current word and add it to the translation
		else {
			if (word != "") {
				// If we've just finished a word, translate it
				var pirateWord = translateWord(word);
				translatedText += pirateWord;
				word = "";
			}
			translatedText += character; // Add the non-letter character
		}
	}

	// If we ended the loop before translating a word, then translate the final
	// word and add it to the translation.
	if (word !== "") translatedText += translateWord(word);

	return translatedText;
};