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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Dubliners, by James Joyce
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: Dubliners
Author: James Joyce
Release Date: September, 2001 [EBook #2814]
Last Updated: January 20, 2019
Language: English
Character set encoding: UTF-8
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DUBLINERS ***
Produced by David Reed, Karol Pietrzak, and David Widger
cover
DUBLINERS
by James Joyce
Contents
The Sisters
An Encounter
Araby
Eveline
After the Race
Two Gallants
The Boarding House
A Little Cloud
Counterparts
Clay
A Painful Case
Ivy Day in the Committee Room
A Mother
Grace
The Dead
THE SISTERS
There was no hope for him this time: it was the third stroke. Night
after night I had passed the house (it was vacation time) and studied
the lighted square of window: and night after night I had found it
lighted in the same way, faintly and evenly. If he was dead, I thought,
I would see the reflection of candles on the darkened blind for I knew
that two candles must be set at the head of a corpse. He had often said
to me: “I am not long for this world,” and I had thought his words
idle. Now I knew they were true. Every night as I gazed up at the
window I said softly to myself the word paralysis. It had always
sounded strangely in my ears, like the word gnomon in the Euclid and
the word simony in the Catechism. But now it sounded to me like the
name of some maleficent and sinful being. It filled me with fear, and
yet I longed to be nearer to it and to look upon its deadly work.
Old Cotter was sitting at the fire, smoking, when I came downstairs to
supper. While my aunt was ladling out my stirabout he said, as if
returning to some former remark of his:
“No, I wouldn’t say he was exactly ... but there was something queer
... there was something uncanny about him. I’ll tell you my
opinion....”
He began to puff at his pipe, no doubt arranging his opinion in his
mind. Tiresome old fool! When we knew him first he used to be rather
interesting, talking of faints and worms; but I soon grew tired of him
and his endless stories about the distillery.
“I have my own theory about it,” he said. “I think it was one of those
... peculiar cases.... But it’s hard to say....”
He began to puff again at his pipe without giving us his theory. My
uncle saw me staring and said to me:
“Well, so your old friend is gone, you’ll be sorry to hear.”
“Who?” said I.
“Father Flynn.”
“Is he dead?”
“Mr Cotter here has just told us. He was passing by the house.”
I knew that I was under observation so I continued eating as if the
news had not interested me. My uncle explained to old Cotter.
“The youngster and he were great friends. The old chap taught him a
great deal, mind you; and they say he had a great wish for him.”
“God have mercy on his soul,” said my aunt piously.
Old Cotter looked at me for a while. I felt that his little beady black
eyes were examining me but I would not satisfy him by looking up from
my plate. He returned to his pipe and finally spat rudely into the
grate.
“I wouldn’t like children of mine,” he said, “to have too much to say
to a man like that.”
“How do you mean, Mr Cotter?” asked my aunt.
“What I mean is,” said old Cotter, “it’s bad for children. My idea is:
let a young lad run about and play with young lads of his own age and
not be.... Am I right, Jack?”
“That’s my principle, too,” said my uncle. “Let him learn to box his
corner. That’s what I’m always saying to that Rosicrucian there: take
exercise. Why, when I was a nipper every morning of my life I had a
cold bath, winter and summer. And that’s what stands to me now.
Education is all very fine and large.... Mr Cotter might take a pick of
that leg mutton,” he added to my aunt.
“No, no, not for me,” said old Cotter.
My aunt brought the dish from the safe and put it on the table.
“But why do you think it’s not good for children, Mr Cotter?” she
asked.
“It’s bad for children,” said old Cotter, “because their minds are so
impressionable. When children see things like that, you know, it has an
effect....”
I crammed my mouth with stirabout for fear I might give utterance to my
anger. Tiresome old red-nosed imbecile!
It was late when I fell asleep. Though I was angry with old Cotter for
alluding to me as a child, I puzzled my head to extract meaning from
his unfinished sentences. In the dark of my room I imagined that I saw
again the heavy grey face of the paralytic. I drew the blankets over my
head and tried to think of Christmas. But the grey face still followed
me. It murmured; and I understood that it desired to confess something.
I felt my soul receding into some pleasant and vicious region; and
there again I found it waiting for me. It began to confess to me in a
murmuring voice and I wondered why it smiled continually and why the
lips were so moist with spittle. But then I remembered that it had died
of paralysis and I felt that I too was smiling feebly as if to absolve
the simoniac of his sin.
The next morning after breakfast I went down to look at the little
house in Great Britain Street. It was an unassuming shop, registered
under the vague name of _Drapery_. The drapery consisted mainly of
children’s bootees and umbrellas; and on ordinary days a notice used to
hang in the window, saying: _Umbrellas Re-covered_. No notice was
visible now for the shutters were up. A crape bouquet was tied to the
door-knocker with ribbon. Two poor women and a telegram boy were
reading the card pinned on the crape. I also approached and read:
July 1st, 1895
The Rev. James Flynn (formerly of S. Catherine’s
Church, Meath Street), aged sixty-five years.
_R. I. P._
The reading of the card persuaded me that he was dead and I was
disturbed to find myself at check. Had he not been dead I would have
gone into the little dark room behind the shop to find him sitting in
his arm-chair by the fire, nearly smothered in his great-coat. Perhaps
my aunt would have given me a packet of High Toast for him and this
present would have roused him from his stupefied doze. It was always I
who emptied the packet into his black snuff-box for his hands trembled
too much to allow him to do this without spilling half the snuff about
the floor. Even as he raised his large trembling hand to his nose
little clouds of smoke dribbled through his fingers over the front of
his coat. It may have been these constant showers of snuff which gave
his ancient priestly garments their green faded look for the red
handkerchief, blackened, as it always was, with the snuff-stains of a
week, with which he tried to brush away the fallen grains, was quite
inefficacious.
I wished to go in and look at him but I had not the courage to knock. I
walked away slowly along the sunny side of the street, reading all the
theatrical advertisements in the shop-windows as I went. I found it
strange that neither I nor the day seemed in a mourning mood and I felt
even annoyed at discovering in myself a sensation of freedom as if I
had been freed from something by his death. I wondered at this for, as
my uncle had said the night before, he had taught me a great deal. He
had studied in the Irish college in Rome and he had taught me to
pronounce Latin properly. He had told me stories about the catacombs
and about Napoleon Bonaparte, and he had explained to me the meaning of
the different ceremonies of the Mass and of the different vestments
worn by the priest. Sometimes he had amused himself by putting
difficult questions to me, asking me what one should do in certain
circumstances or whether such and such sins were mortal or venial or
only imperfections. His questions showed me how complex and mysterious
were certain institutions of the Church which I had always regarded as
the simplest acts. The duties of the priest towards the Eucharist and
towards the secrecy of the confessional seemed so grave to me that I
wondered how anybody had ever found in himself the courage to undertake
them; and I was not surprised when he told me that the fathers of the
Church had written books as thick as the _Post Office Directory_ and as
closely printed as the law notices in the newspaper, elucidating all
these intricate questions. Often when I thought of this I could make no
answer or only a very foolish and halting one upon which he used to
smile and nod his head twice or thrice. Sometimes he used to put me
through the responses of the Mass which he had made me learn by heart;
and, as I pattered, he used to smile pensively and nod his head, now
and then pushing huge pinches of snuff up each nostril alternately.
When he smiled he used to uncover his big discoloured teeth and let his
tongue lie upon his lower lip—a habit which had made me feel uneasy in
the beginning of our acquaintance before I knew him well.
As I walked along in the sun I remembered old Cotter’s words and tried
to remember what had happened afterwards in the dream. I remembered
that I had noticed long velvet curtains and a swinging lamp of antique
fashion. I felt that I had been very far away, in some land where the
customs were strange—in Persia, I thought.... But I could not remember
the end of the dream.
In the evening my aunt took me with her to visit the house of mourning.
It was after sunset; but the window-panes of the houses that looked to
the west reflected the tawny gold of a great bank of clouds. Nannie
received us in the hall; and, as it would have been unseemly to have
shouted at her, my aunt shook hands with her for all. The old woman
pointed upwards interrogatively and, on my aunt’s nodding, proceeded to
toil up the narrow staircase before us, her bowed head being scarcely
above the level of the banister-rail. At the first landing she stopped
and beckoned us forward encouragingly towards the open door of the
dead-room. My aunt went in and the old woman, seeing that I hesitated
to enter, began to beckon to me again repeatedly with her hand.
I went in on tiptoe. The room through the lace end of the blind was
suffused with dusky golden light amid which the candles looked like
pale thin flames. He had been coffined. Nannie gave the lead and we
three knelt down at the foot of the bed. I pretended to pray but I
could not gather my thoughts because the old woman’s mutterings
distracted me. I noticed how clumsily her skirt was hooked at the back
and how the heels of her cloth boots were trodden down all to one side.
The fancy came to me that the old priest was smiling as he lay there in
his coffin.
But no. When we rose and went up to the head of the bed I saw that he
was not smiling. There he lay, solemn and copious, vested as for the
altar, his large hands loosely retaining a chalice. His face was very
truculent, grey and massive, with black cavernous nostrils and circled
by a scanty white fur. There was a heavy odour in the room—the flowers.
We blessed ourselves and came away. In the little room downstairs we
found Eliza seated in his arm-chair in state. I groped my way towards
my usual chair in the corner while Nannie went to the sideboard and
brought out a decanter of sherry and some wine-glasses. She set these
on the table and invited us to take a little glass of wine. Then, at
her sister’s bidding, she filled out the sherry into the glasses and
passed them to us. She pressed me to take some cream crackers also but
I declined because I thought I would make too much noise eating them.
She seemed to be somewhat disappointed at my refusal and went over
quietly to the sofa where she sat down behind her sister. No one spoke:
we all gazed at the empty fireplace.
My aunt waited until Eliza sighed and then said:
“Ah, well, he’s gone to a better world.”
Eliza sighed again and bowed her head in assent. My aunt fingered the
stem of her wine-glass before sipping a little.
“Did he ... peacefully?” she asked.
“Oh, quite peacefully, ma’am,” said Eliza. “You couldn’t tell when the
breath went out of him. He had a beautiful death, God be praised.”
“And everything...?”
“Father O’Rourke was in with him a Tuesday and anointed him and
prepared him and all.”
“He knew then?”
“He was quite resigned.”
“He looks quite resigned,” said my aunt.
“That’s what the woman we had in to wash him said. She said he just
looked as if he was asleep, he looked that peaceful and resigned. No
one would think he’d make such a beautiful corpse.”
“Yes, indeed,” said my aunt.
She sipped a little more from her glass and said:
“Well, Miss Flynn, at any rate it must be a great comfort for you to
know that you did all you could for him. You were both very kind to
him, I must say.”
Eliza smoothed her dress over her knees.
“Ah, poor James!” she said. “God knows we done all we could, as poor as
we are—we wouldn’t see him want anything while he was in it.”
Nannie had leaned her head against the sofa-pillow and seemed about to
fall asleep.
“There’s poor Nannie,” said Eliza, looking at her, “she’s wore out. All
the work we had, she and me, getting in the woman to wash him and then
laying him out and then the coffin and then arranging about the Mass in
the chapel. Only for Father O’Rourke I don’t know what we’d have done
at all. It was him brought us all them flowers and them two
candlesticks out of the chapel and wrote out the notice for the
_Freeman’s General_ and took charge of all the papers for the cemetery
and poor James’s insurance.”
“Wasn’t that good of him?” said my aunt.
Eliza closed her eyes and shook her head slowly.
“Ah, there’s no friends like the old friends,” she said, “when all is
said and done, no friends that a body can trust.”
“Indeed, that’s true,” said my aunt. “And I’m sure now that he’s gone
to his eternal reward he won’t forget you and all your kindness to
him.”
“Ah, poor James!” said Eliza. “He was no great trouble to us. You
wouldn’t hear him in the house any more than now. Still, I know he’s
gone and all to that....”
“It’s when it’s all over that you’ll miss him,” said my aunt.
“I know that,” said Eliza. “I won’t be bringing him in his cup of
beef-tea any more, nor you, ma’am, sending him his snuff. Ah, poor
James!”
She stopped, as if she were communing with the past and then said
shrewdly:
“Mind you, I noticed there was something queer coming over him
latterly. Whenever I’d bring in his soup to him there I’d find him with
his breviary fallen to the floor, lying back in the chair and his mouth
open.”
She laid a finger against her nose and frowned: then she continued:
“But still and all he kept on saying that before the summer was over
he’d go out for a drive one fine day just to see the old house again
where we were all born down in Irishtown and take me and Nannie with
him. If we could only get one of them new-fangled carriages that makes
no noise that Father O’Rourke told him about, them with the rheumatic
wheels, for the day cheap—he said, at Johnny Rush’s over the way there
and drive out the three of us together of a Sunday evening. He had his
mind set on that.... Poor James!”
“The Lord have mercy on his soul!” said my aunt.
Eliza took out her handkerchief and wiped her eyes with it. Then she
put it back again in her pocket and gazed into the empty grate for some
time without speaking.
“He was too scrupulous always,” she said. “The duties of the priesthood
was too much for him. And then his life was, you might say, crossed.”
“Yes,” said my aunt. “He was a disappointed man. You could see that.”
A silence took possession of the little room and, under cover of it, I
approached the table and tasted my sherry and then returned quietly to
my chair in the corner. Eliza seemed to have fallen into a deep revery.
We waited respectfully for her to break the silence: and after a long
pause she said slowly:
“It was that chalice he broke.... That was the beginning of it. Of
course, they say it was all right, that it contained nothing, I mean.
But still.... They say it was the boy’s fault. But poor James was so
nervous, God be merciful to him!”
“And was that it?” said my aunt. “I heard something....”
Eliza nodded.
“That affected his mind,” she said. “After that he began to mope by
himself, talking to no one and wandering about by himself. So one night
he was wanted for to go on a call and they couldn’t find him anywhere.
They looked high up and low down; and still they couldn’t see a sight
of him anywhere. So then the clerk suggested to try the chapel. So then
they got the keys and opened the chapel and the clerk and Father
O’Rourke and another priest that was there brought in a light for to
look for him.... And what do you think but there he was, sitting up by
himself in the dark in his confession-box, wide-awake and laughing-like
softly to himself?”
She stopped suddenly as if to listen. I too listened; but there was no
sound in the house: and I knew that the old priest was lying still in
his coffin as we had seen him, solemn and truculent in death, an idle
chalice on his breast.
Eliza resumed:
“Wide-awake and laughing-like to himself.... So then, of course, when
they saw that, that made them think that there was something gone wrong
with him....”
AN ENCOUNTER
It was Joe Dillon who introduced the Wild West to us. He had a little
library made up of old numbers of _The Union Jack_, _Pluck_ and _The
Halfpenny Marvel_. Every evening after school we met in his back garden
and arranged Indian battles. He and his fat young brother Leo, the
idler, held the loft of the stable while we tried to carry it by storm;
or we fought a pitched battle on the grass. But, however well we
fought, we never won siege or battle and all our bouts ended with Joe
Dillon’s war dance of victory. His parents went to eight-o’clock mass
every morning in Gardiner Street and the peaceful odour of Mrs Dillon
was prevalent in the hall of the house. But he played too fiercely for
us who were younger and more timid. He looked like some kind of an
Indian when he capered round the garden, an old tea-cosy on his head,
beating a tin with his fist and yelling:
“Ya! yaka, yaka, yaka!”
Everyone was incredulous when it was reported that he had a vocation
for the priesthood. Nevertheless it was true.
A spirit of unruliness diffused itself among us and, under its
influence, differences of culture and constitution were waived. We
banded ourselves together, some boldly, some in jest and some almost in
fear: and of the number of these latter, the reluctant Indians who were
afraid to seem studious or lacking in robustness, I was one. The
adventures related in the literature of the Wild West were remote from
my nature but, at least, they opened doors of escape. I liked better
some American detective stories which were traversed from time to time
by unkempt fierce and beautiful girls. Though there was nothing wrong
in these stories and though their intention was sometimes literary they
were circulated secretly at school. One day when Father Butler was
hearing the four pages of Roman History clumsy Leo Dillon was
discovered with a copy of _The Halfpenny Marvel_.
“This page or this page? This page? Now, Dillon, up! _‘Hardly had the
day’...._ Go on! What day? _‘Hardly had the day dawned’...._ Have you
studied it? What have you there in your pocket?”
Everyone’s heart palpitated as Leo Dillon handed up the paper and
everyone assumed an innocent face. Father Butler turned over the pages,
frowning.
“What is this rubbish?” he said. “_The Apache Chief!_ Is this what you
read instead of studying your Roman History? Let me not find any more
of this wretched stuff in this college. The man who wrote it, I
suppose, was some wretched fellow who writes these things for a drink.
I’m surprised at boys like you, educated, reading such stuff. I could
understand it if you were ... National School boys. Now, Dillon, I
advise you strongly, get at your work or....”
This rebuke during the sober hours of school paled much of the glory of
the Wild West for me and the confused puffy face of Leo Dillon awakened
one of my consciences. But when the restraining influence of the school
was at a distance I began to hunger again for wild sensations, for the
escape which those chronicles of disorder alone seemed to offer me. The
mimic warfare of the evening became at last as wearisome to me as the
routine of school in the morning because I wanted real adventures to
happen to myself. But real adventures, I reflected, do not happen to
people who remain at home: they must be sought abroad.
The summer holidays were near at hand when I made up my mind to break
out of the weariness of school-life for one day at least. With Leo
Dillon and a boy named Mahony I planned a day’s miching. Each of us
saved up sixpence. We were to meet at ten in the morning on the Canal
Bridge. Mahony’s big sister was to write an excuse for him and Leo
Dillon was to tell his brother to say he was sick. We arranged to go
along the Wharf Road until we came to the ships, then to cross in the
ferryboat and walk out to see the Pigeon House. Leo Dillon was afraid
we might meet Father Butler or someone out of the college; but Mahony
asked, very sensibly, what would Father Butler be doing out at the
Pigeon House. We were reassured: and I brought the first stage of the
plot to an end by collecting sixpence from the other two, at the same
time showing them my own sixpence. When we were making the last
arrangements on the eve we were all vaguely excited. We shook hands,
laughing, and Mahony said:
“Till tomorrow, mates!”
That night I slept badly. In the morning I was first-comer to the
bridge as I lived nearest. I hid my books in the long grass near the
ashpit at the end of the garden where nobody ever came and hurried
along the canal bank. It was a mild sunny morning in the first week of
June. I sat up on the coping of the bridge admiring my frail canvas
shoes which I had diligently pipeclayed overnight and watching the
docile horses pulling a tramload of business people up the hill. All
the branches of the tall trees which lined the mall were gay with
little light green leaves and the sunlight slanted through them on to
the water. The granite stone of the bridge was beginning to be warm and
I began to pat it with my hands in time to an air in my head. I was
very happy.
When I had been sitting there for five or ten minutes I saw Mahony’s
grey suit approaching. He came up the hill, smiling, and clambered up
beside me on the bridge. While we were waiting he brought out the
catapult which bulged from his inner pocket and explained some
improvements which he had made in it. I asked him why he had brought it
and he told me he had brought it to have some gas with the birds.
Mahony used slang freely, and spoke of Father Butler as Old Bunser. We
waited on for a quarter of an hour more but still there was no sign of
Leo Dillon. Mahony, at last, jumped down and said:
“Come along. I knew Fatty’d funk it.”
“And his sixpence...?” I said.
“That’s forfeit,” said Mahony. “And so much the better for us—a bob and
a tanner instead of a bob.”
We walked along the North Strand Road till we came to the Vitriol Works
and then turned to the right along the Wharf Road. Mahony began to play
the Indian as soon as we were out of public sight. He chased a crowd of
ragged girls, brandishing his unloaded catapult and, when two ragged
boys began, out of chivalry, to fling stones at us, he proposed that we
should charge them. I objected that the boys were too small and so we
walked on, the ragged troop screaming after us: _“Swaddlers!
Swaddlers!”_ thinking that we were Protestants because Mahony, who was
dark-complexioned, wore the silver badge of a cricket club in his cap.
When we came to the Smoothing Iron we arranged a siege; but it was a
failure because you must have at least three. We revenged ourselves on
Leo Dillon by saying what a funk he was and guessing how many he would
get at three o’clock from Mr Ryan.
We came then near the river. We spent a long time walking about the
noisy streets flanked by high stone walls, watching the working of
cranes and engines and often being shouted at for our immobility by the
drivers of groaning carts. It was noon when we reached the quays and,
as all the labourers seemed to be eating their lunches, we bought two
big currant buns and sat down to eat them on some metal piping beside
the river. We pleased ourselves with the spectacle of Dublin’s
commerce—the barges signalled from far away by their curls of woolly
smoke, the brown fishing fleet beyond Ringsend, the big white
sailing-vessel which was being discharged on the opposite quay. Mahony
said it would be right skit to run away to sea on one of those big
ships and even I, looking at the high masts, saw, or imagined, the
geography which had been scantily dosed to me at school gradually
taking substance under my eyes. School and home seemed to recede from
us and their influences upon us seemed to wane.
We crossed the Liffey in the ferryboat, paying our toll to be
transported in the company of two labourers and a little Jew with a
bag. We were serious to the point of solemnity, but once during the
short voyage our eyes met and we laughed. When we landed we watched the
discharging of the graceful threemaster which we had observed from the
other quay. Some bystander said that she was a Norwegian vessel. I went
to the stern and tried to decipher the legend upon it but, failing to
do so, I came back and examined the foreign sailors to see had any of
them green eyes for I had some confused notion.... The sailors’ eyes
were blue and grey and even black. The only sailor whose eyes could
have been called green was a tall man who amused the crowd on the quay
by calling out cheerfully every time the planks fell:
“All right! All right!”
When we were tired of this sight we wandered slowly into Ringsend. The
day had grown sultry, and in the windows of the grocers’ shops musty
biscuits lay bleaching. We bought some biscuits and chocolate which we
ate sedulously as we wandered through the squalid streets where the
families of the fishermen live. We could find no dairy and so we went
into a huckster’s shop and bought a bottle of raspberry lemonade each.
Refreshed by this, Mahony chased a cat down a lane, but the cat escaped
into a wide field. We both felt rather tired and when we reached the
field we made at once for a sloping bank over the ridge of which we
could see the Dodder.
It was too late and we were too tired to carry out our project of
visiting the Pigeon House. We had to be home before four o’clock lest
our adventure should be discovered. Mahony looked regretfully at his
catapult and I had to suggest going home by train before he regained
any cheerfulness. The sun went in behind some clouds and left us to our
jaded thoughts and the crumbs of our provisions.
There was nobody but ourselves in the field. When we had lain on the
bank for some time without speaking I saw a man approaching from the
far end of the field. I watched him lazily as I chewed one of those
green stems on which girls tell fortunes. He came along by the bank
slowly. He walked with one hand upon his hip and in the other hand he
held a stick with which he tapped the turf lightly. He was shabbily
dressed in a suit of greenish-black and wore what we used to call a
jerry hat with a high crown. He seemed to be fairly old for his
moustache was ashen-grey. When he passed at our feet he glanced up at
us quickly and then continued his way. We followed him with our eyes
and saw that when he had gone on for perhaps fifty paces he turned
about and began to retrace his steps. He walked towards us very slowly,
always tapping the ground with his stick, so slowly that I thought he
was looking for something in the grass.
He stopped when he came level with us and bade us good-day. We answered
him and he sat down beside us on the slope slowly and with great care.
He began to talk of the weather, saying that it would be a very hot
summer and adding that the seasons had changed greatly since he was a
boy—a long time ago. He said that the happiest time of one’s life was
undoubtedly one’s schoolboy days and that he would give anything to be
young again. While he expressed these sentiments which bored us a
little we kept silent. Then he began to talk of school and of books. He
asked us whether we had read the poetry of Thomas Moore or the works of
Sir Walter Scott and Lord Lytton. I pretended that I had read every
book he mentioned so that in the end he said:
“Ah, I can see you are a bookworm like myself. Now,” he added, pointing
to Mahony who was regarding us with open eyes, “he is different; he
goes in for games.”
He said he had all Sir Walter Scott’s works and all Lord Lytton’s works
at home and never tired of reading them. “Of course,” he said, “there
were some of Lord Lytton’s works which boys couldn’t read.” Mahony
asked why couldn’t boys read them—a question which agitated and pained
me because I was afraid the man would think I was as stupid as Mahony.
The man, however, only smiled. I saw that he had great gaps in his
mouth between his yellow teeth. Then he asked us which of us had the
most sweethearts. Mahony mentioned lightly that he had three totties.
The man asked me how many had I. I answered that I had none. He did not
believe me and said he was sure I must have one. I was silent.
“Tell us,” said Mahony pertly to the man, “how many have you yourself?”
The man smiled as before and said that when he was our age he had lots
of sweethearts.
“Every boy,” he said, “has a little sweetheart.”
His attitude on this point struck me as strangely liberal in a man of
his age. In my heart I thought that what he said about boys and
sweethearts was reasonable. But I disliked the words in his mouth and I
wondered why he shivered once or twice as if he feared something or
felt a sudden chill. As he proceeded I noticed that his accent was
good. He began to speak to us about girls, saying what nice soft hair
they had and how soft their hands were and how all girls were not so
good as they seemed to be if one only knew. There was nothing he liked,
he said, so much as looking at a nice young girl, at her nice white
hands and her beautiful soft hair. He gave me the impression that he
was repeating something which he had learned by heart or that,
magnetised by some words of his own speech, his mind was slowly
circling round and round in the same orbit. At times he spoke as if he
were simply alluding to some fact that everybody knew, and at times he
lowered his voice and spoke mysteriously as if he were telling us
something secret which he did not wish others to overhear. He repeated
his phrases over and over again, varying them and surrounding them with
his monotonous voice. I continued to gaze towards the foot of the
slope, listening to him.
After a long while his monologue paused. He stood up slowly, saying
that he had to leave us for a minute or so, a few minutes, and, without
changing the direction of my gaze, I saw him walking slowly away from
us towards the near end of the field. We remained silent when he had
gone. After a silence of a few minutes I heard Mahony exclaim:
“I say! Look what he’s doing!”
As I neither answered nor raised my eyes Mahony exclaimed again:
“I say.... He’s a queer old josser!”
“In case he asks us for our names,” I said, “let you be Murphy and I’ll
be Smith.”
We said nothing further to each other. I was still considering whether
I would go away or not when the man came back and sat down beside us
again. Hardly had he sat down when Mahony, catching sight of the cat
which had escaped him, sprang up and pursued her across the field. The
man and I watched the chase. The cat escaped once more and Mahony began
to throw stones at the wall she had escaladed. Desisting from this, he
began to wander about the far end of the field, aimlessly.
After an interval the man spoke to me. He said that my friend was a
very rough boy and asked did he get whipped often at school. I was
going to reply indignantly that we were not National School boys to be
whipped, as he called it; but I remained silent. He began to speak on
the subject of chastising boys. His mind, as if magnetised again by his
speech, seemed to circle slowly round and round its new centre. He said
that when boys were that kind they ought to be whipped and well
whipped. When a boy was rough and unruly there was nothing would do him
any good but a good sound whipping. A slap on the hand or a box on the
ear was no good: what he wanted was to get a nice warm whipping. I was
surprised at this sentiment and involuntarily glanced up at his face.
As I did so I met the gaze of a pair of bottle-green eyes peering at me
from under a twitching forehead. I turned my eyes away again.
The man continued his monologue. He seemed to have forgotten his recent
liberalism. He said that if ever he found a boy talking to girls or
having a girl for a sweetheart he would whip him and whip him; and that
would teach him not to be talking to girls. And if a boy had a girl for
a sweetheart and told lies about it then he would give him such a
whipping as no boy ever got in this world. He said that there was
nothing in this world he would like so well as that. He described to me
how he would whip such a boy as if he were unfolding some elaborate
mystery. He would love that, he said, better than anything in this
world; and his voice, as he led me monotonously through the mystery,
grew almost affectionate and seemed to plead with me that I should
understand him.
I waited till his monologue paused again. Then I stood up abruptly.
Lest I should betray my agitation I delayed a few moments pretending to
fix my shoe properly and then, saying that I was obliged to go, I bade
him good-day. I went up the slope calmly but my heart was beating
quickly with fear that he would seize me by the ankles. When I reached
the top of the slope I turned round and, without looking at him, called
loudly across the field:
“Murphy!”
My voice had an accent of forced bravery in it and I was ashamed of my
paltry stratagem. I had to call the name again before Mahony saw me and
hallooed in answer. How my heart beat as he came running across the
field to me! He ran as if to bring me aid. And I was penitent; for in
my heart I had always despised him a little.
ARABY
North Richmond Street, being blind, was a quiet street except at the
hour when the Christian Brothers’ School set the boys free. An
uninhabited house of two storeys stood at the blind end, detached from
its neighbours in a square ground. The other houses of the street,
conscious of decent lives within them, gazed at one another with brown
imperturbable faces.
The former tenant of our house, a priest, had died in the back
drawing-room. Air, musty from having been long enclosed, hung in all
the rooms, and the waste room behind the kitchen was littered with old
useless papers. Among these I found a few paper-covered books, the
pages of which were curled and damp: _The Abbot_, by Walter Scott, _The
Devout Communicant_ and _The Memoirs of Vidocq_. I liked the last best
because its leaves were yellow. The wild garden behind the house
contained a central apple-tree and a few straggling bushes under one of
which I found the late tenant’s rusty bicycle-pump. He had been a very
charitable priest; in his will he had left all his money to
institutions and the furniture of his house to his sister.
When the short days of winter came dusk fell before we had well eaten
our dinners. When we met in the street the houses had grown sombre. The
space of sky above us was the colour of ever-changing violet and
towards it the lamps of the street lifted their feeble lanterns. The
cold air stung us and we played till our bodies glowed. Our shouts
echoed in the silent street. The career of our play brought us through
the dark muddy lanes behind the houses where we ran the gauntlet of the
rough tribes from the cottages, to the back doors of the dark dripping
gardens where odours arose from the ashpits, to the dark odorous
stables where a coachman smoothed and combed the horse or shook music
from the buckled harness. When we returned to the street light from the
kitchen windows had filled the areas. If my uncle was seen turning the
corner we hid in the shadow until we had seen him safely housed. Or if
Mangan’s sister came out on the doorstep to call her brother in to his
tea we watched her from our shadow peer up and down the street. We
waited to see whether she would remain or go in and, if she remained,
we left our shadow and walked up to Mangan’s steps resignedly. She was
waiting for us, her figure defined by the light from the half-opened
door. Her brother always teased her before he obeyed and I stood by the
railings looking at her. Her dress swung as she moved her body and the
soft rope of her hair tossed from side to side.
Every morning I lay on the floor in the front parlour watching her
door. The blind was pulled down to within an inch of the sash so that I
could not be seen. When she came out on the doorstep my heart leaped. I
ran to the hall, seized my books and followed her. I kept her brown
figure always in my eye and, when we came near the point at which our
ways diverged, I quickened my pace and passed her. This happened
morning after morning. I had never spoken to her, except for a few
casual words, and yet her name was like a summons to all my foolish
blood.
Her image accompanied me even in places the most hostile to romance. On
Saturday evenings when my aunt went marketing I had to go to carry some
of the parcels. We walked through the flaring streets, jostled by
drunken men and bargaining women, amid the curses of labourers, the
shrill litanies of shop-boys who stood on guard by the barrels of pigs’
cheeks, the nasal chanting of street-singers, who sang a _come-all-you_
about O’Donovan Rossa, or a ballad about the troubles in our native
land. These noises converged in a single sensation of life for me: I
imagined that I bore my chalice safely through a throng of foes. Her
name sprang to my lips at moments in strange prayers and praises which
I myself did not understand. My eyes were often full of tears (I could
not tell why) and at times a flood from my heart seemed to pour itself
out into my bosom. I thought little of the future. I did not know
whether I would ever speak to her or not or, if I spoke to her, how I
could tell her of my confused adoration. But my body was like a harp
and her words and gestures were like fingers running upon the wires.
One evening I went into the back drawing-room in which the priest had
died. It was a dark rainy evening and there was no sound in the house.
Through one of the broken panes I heard the rain impinge upon the
earth, the fine incessant needles of water playing in the sodden beds.
Some distant lamp or lighted window gleamed below me. I was thankful
that I could see so little. All my senses seemed to desire to veil
themselves and, feeling that I was about to slip from them, I pressed
the palms of my hands together until they trembled, murmuring: _“O
love! O love!”_ many times.
At last she spoke to me. When she addressed the first words to me I was
so confused that I did not know what to answer. She asked me was I
going to _Araby_. I forgot whether I answered yes or no. It would be a
splendid bazaar, she said; she would love to go.
“And why can’t you?” I asked.
While she spoke she turned a silver bracelet round and round her wrist.
She could not go, she said, because there would be a retreat that week
in her convent. Her brother and two other boys were fighting for their
caps and I was alone at the railings. She held one of the spikes,
bowing her head towards me. The light from the lamp opposite our door
caught the white curve of her neck, lit up her hair that rested there
and, falling, lit up the hand upon the railing. It fell over one side
of her dress and caught the white border of a petticoat, just visible
as she stood at ease.
“It’s well for you,” she said.
“If I go,” I said, “I will bring you something.”
What innumerable follies laid waste my waking and sleeping thoughts
after that evening! I wished to annihilate the tedious intervening
days. I chafed against the work of school. At night in my bedroom and
by day in the classroom her image came between me and the page I strove
to read. The syllables of the word _Araby_ were called to me through
the silence in which my soul luxuriated and cast an Eastern enchantment
over me. I asked for leave to go to the bazaar on Saturday night. My
aunt was surprised and hoped it was not some Freemason affair. I
answered few questions in class. I watched my master’s face pass from
amiability to sternness; he hoped I was not beginning to idle. I could
not call my wandering thoughts together. I had hardly any patience with
the serious work of life which, now that it stood between me and my
desire, seemed to me child’s play, ugly monotonous child’s play.
On Saturday morning I reminded my uncle that I wished to go to the
bazaar in the evening. He was fussing at the hallstand, looking for the
hat-brush, and answered me curtly:
“Yes, boy, I know.”
As he was in the hall I could not go into the front parlour and lie at
the window. I left the house in bad humour and walked slowly towards
the school. The air was pitilessly raw and already my heart misgave me.
When I came home to dinner my uncle had not yet been home. Still it was
early. I sat staring at the clock for some time and, when its ticking
began to irritate me, I left the room. I mounted the staircase and
gained the upper part of the house. The high cold empty gloomy rooms
liberated me and I went from room to room singing. From the front
window I saw my companions playing below in the street. Their cries
reached me weakened and indistinct and, leaning my forehead against the
cool glass, I looked over at the dark house where she lived. I may have
stood there for an hour, seeing nothing but the brown-clad figure cast
by my imagination, touched discreetly by the lamplight at the curved
neck, at the hand upon the railings and at the border below the dress.
When I came downstairs again I found Mrs Mercer sitting at the fire.
She was an old garrulous woman, a pawnbroker’s widow, who collected
used stamps for some pious purpose. I had to endure the gossip of the
tea-table. The meal was prolonged beyond an hour and still my uncle did
not come. Mrs Mercer stood up to go: she was sorry she couldn’t wait
any longer, but it was after eight o’clock and she did not like to be
out late as the night air was bad for her. When she had gone I began to
walk up and down the room, clenching my fists. My aunt said:
“I’m afraid you may put off your bazaar for this night of Our Lord.”
At nine o’clock I heard my uncle’s latchkey in the halldoor. I heard
him talking to himself and heard the hallstand rocking when it had
received the weight of his overcoat. I could interpret these signs.
When he was midway through his dinner I asked him to give me the money
to go to the bazaar. He had forgotten.
“The people are in bed and after their first sleep now,” he said.
I did not smile. My aunt said to him energetically:
“Can’t you give him the money and let him go? You’ve kept him late
enough as it is.”
My uncle said he was very sorry he had forgotten. He said he believed
in the old saying: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” He
asked me where I was going and, when I had told him a second time he
asked me did I know _The Arab’s Farewell to his Steed_. When I left the
kitchen he was about to recite the opening lines of the piece to my
aunt.
I held a florin tightly in my hand as I strode down Buckingham Street
towards the station. The sight of the streets thronged with buyers and
glaring with gas recalled to me the purpose of my journey. I took my
seat in a third-class carriage of a deserted train. After an
intolerable delay the train moved out of the station slowly. It crept
onward among ruinous houses and over the twinkling river. At Westland
Row Station a crowd of people pressed to the carriage doors; but the
porters moved them back, saying that it was a special train for the
bazaar. I remained alone in the bare carriage. In a few minutes the
train drew up beside an improvised wooden platform. I passed out on to
the road and saw by the lighted dial of a clock that it was ten minutes
to ten. In front of me was a large building which displayed the magical
name.
I could not find any sixpenny entrance and, fearing that the bazaar
would be closed, I passed in quickly through a turnstile, handing a
shilling to a weary-looking man. I found myself in a big hall girdled
at half its height by a gallery. Nearly all the stalls were closed and
the greater part of the hall was in darkness. I recognised a silence
like that which pervades a church after a service. I walked into the
centre of the bazaar timidly. A few people were gathered about the
stalls which were still open. Before a curtain, over which the words
_Café Chantant_ were written in coloured lamps, two men were counting
money on a salver. I listened to the fall of the coins.
Remembering with difficulty why I had come I went over to one of the
stalls and examined porcelain vases and flowered tea-sets. At the door
of the stall a young lady was talking and laughing with two young
gentlemen. I remarked their English accents and listened vaguely to
their conversation.
“O, I never said such a thing!”
“O, but you did!”
“O, but I didn’t!”
“Didn’t she say that?”
“Yes. I heard her.”
“O, there’s a ... fib!”
Observing me the young lady came over and asked me did I wish to buy
anything. The tone of her voice was not encouraging; she seemed to have
spoken to me out of a sense of duty. I looked humbly at the great jars
that stood like eastern guards at either side of the dark entrance to
the stall and murmured:
“No, thank you.”
The young lady changed the position of one of the vases and went back
to the two young men. They began to talk of the same subject. Once or
twice the young lady glanced at me over her shoulder.
I lingered before her stall, though I knew my stay was useless, to make
my interest in her wares seem the more real. Then I turned away slowly
and walked down the middle of the bazaar. I allowed the two pennies to
fall against the sixpence in my pocket. I heard a voice call from one
end of the gallery that the light was out. The upper part of the hall
was now completely dark.
Gazing up into the darkness I saw myself as a creature driven and
derided by vanity; and my eyes burned with anguish and anger.
EVELINE
She sat at the window watching the evening invade the avenue. Her head
was leaned against the window curtains and in her nostrils was the
odour of dusty cretonne. She was tired.
Few people passed. The man out of the last house passed on his way
home; she heard his footsteps clacking along the concrete pavement and
afterwards crunching on the cinder path before the new red houses. One
time there used to be a field there in which they used to play every
evening with other people’s children. Then a man from Belfast bought
the field and built houses in it—not like their little brown houses but
bright brick houses with shining roofs. The children of the avenue used
to play together in that field—the Devines, the Waters, the Dunns,
little Keogh the cripple, she and her brothers and sisters. Ernest,
however, never played: he was too grown up. Her father used often to
hunt them in out of the field with his blackthorn stick; but usually
little Keogh used to keep _nix_ and call out when he saw her father
coming. Still they seemed to have been rather happy then. Her father
was not so bad then; and besides, her mother was alive. That was a long
time ago; she and her brothers and sisters were all grown up; her
mother was dead. Tizzie Dunn was dead, too, and the Waters had gone
back to England. Everything changes. Now she was going to go away like
the others, to leave her home.
Home! She looked round the room, reviewing all its familiar objects
which she had dusted once a week for so many years, wondering where on
earth all the dust came from. Perhaps she would never see again those
familiar objects from which she had never dreamed of being divided. And
yet during all those years she had never found out the name of the
priest whose yellowing photograph hung on the wall above the broken
harmonium beside the coloured print of the promises made to Blessed
Margaret Mary Alacoque. He had been a school friend of her father.
Whenever he showed the photograph to a visitor her father used to pass
it with a casual word:
“He is in Melbourne now.”
She had consented to go away, to leave her home. Was that wise? She