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JOKES - ENGLISH

ADDING JOKES:

Write a short title for your joke and add it at the top of the jokes list. There are a few simple rules to make this enjoyable for everybody:

  • Don't submit offensive, sexual or dark humour jokes.
    • Foul language is allowed, but only to add emphasis or in known sentences and without overdoing it.
  • Avoid context as much as possible. Leave the joke's essence so that readers can complete it the way they want
    • If the joke is too technichal, make sure the title provides the context.
  • Keep it as short as possible. Leave just what's necessary.
  • Follow this format to make it easy to read:
    • Write narration and descriptions in short sentences.
    • Write conversations as lists.
    • In question and answer jokes, write Q: and A: before their line.
  • Have fun!

TENSE

  • The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense

CONSTRUCTION

  • Q: Want to hear a joke about construction?
  • A: I'm still working on it.

BROWN STICK

  • Q: What's brown and sticky?
  • A: A stick.

HOLY WATER

  • Q: How do you make holy water?
  • A: You boil the hell out of it.

LANGUAGES

  • Q: What is the least spoken language in the world?
  • A: Sign language

VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES

  • Q: What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
  • A: “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

ASS-ASSINS

  • Q: What has two butts and kills people?
  • A: An assassin

PEANUTS

  • Q: Why did the two peanuts run away from the tough neighborhood at night?
  • A: Because one of them was a-salted (assaulted).

KILLER BEE

  • Q: How would you shoot a killer bee?
  • A: With a bee bee gun. (BB Gun)